Alien Hieroglyphs - Alpha Blue actual play report

Yesterday was probably the last face-to-face roleplaying I'll get to have until sometime in 2017.  Impending twins and all that.  So, I wanted to go out with a bang.  And we did.

The 4 hour game turned into a 2 hour game because of pizza, off-topic discussions, and character creation.  Since there was only 2 players, we went all-out, despite the one-shot nature of this particular game.  Below are a couple videos that capture the character creation experience that is Alpha Blue...

Steve's character, Azaxyr, was an alien pilot who needed an atmosphere suit to survive (non-oxygen breather).  He was a dog-sized amphibian with a strange way of speaking, porcupine quills, hemophilia, and a Necrophilia sexual fetish.  Oh yeah, he also had the power (more like a defect in the far future) of disabling any electronic device he came within a few inches of.

Patrick's character was a human pilot and bounty hunter named Gebek wielding a neon-frisbee.  It's like a laser-frisbee, except neon doesn't cauterize the wounds, so you keep bleeding.

Since I don't have a chat-log that I can just look back at and retype here, I'm going to bullet-point the crap out of this actual play report.

• The space adventurers were traveling to Alpha Blue when intercepted by a Federation patrol ship who wanted them to submit to a random checkpoint search and seizure.  "Fuck that," was the PC's response, naturally.
• It took awhile to destroy the Federation ship.  Waterbeds were punctured on both sides of the conflict.  We decided that once you take your waterbed off-world, the warranty is invalidated, and that artificial gravity is the leading cause of waterbed death.
• Once everyone was dead, the PCs went aboard and found a criminal in a similar survival suit to Azaxyr.  This convict's name was Ettis, a human-sized being made of pure energy who considers the spilling of blood to be a sign of good fortune.
  
• The reason they were going to Alpha Blue in the first place was a new Ancient Egypt exhibit in the space station's museum - yeah, sex and drugs on Alpha Blue, but there's culture, too.  Somewhere in this collection of Egyptology junk was a sarcophagus which contained hieroglyphs.  When deciphered, the hieroglyphs gave coordinates to a stable wormhole (Patrick's idea).
• They got to Alpha Blue and Azaxyr disabled the space station's automated welcome wagon with a touch.  This is where Azaxyr said, "I just want to watch the world burn... one small display screen at a time."  The spacers continued on towards the Egyptian exhibit.
• That led them to the red hologram district where Gebek got knifed and the pair of them were propositioned by a hooker.  No takers, as they had a mission to fulfill.
• The PCs entered a cross-section of the space station that was both red hologram district and party/entertainment.  So, there was wall-to-wall sex, drugs, alcohol, and weirdness going on. 
• They both smoked some pink crystals and enjoyed the benefits, as well as, succumbing to the dark side of alien narcotics.  
• While Gebek was out of commission and propped up at a booth a la Weekend at Bernie's, watching a stripper with 5 boobs, Azaxyr took a job - kill 3 Federation officers walking around this section of Alpha Blue.
• Once Gebek woke up, there was a shoot-out.  Azaxyr died in the laser fight.  Ettis walked up behind the toughest Federation officer and blasted him in the back of the head.  
• Luckily, Alpha Blue has one of the best medical care facilities in the galaxy.  Although, Azaxyr didn't have space health insurance, so it cost him 1,400 credits to get a new pancreas, spleen, and right arm.  I finally got to roll on the spare parts random table in the Alpha Blue book. Yay!  
• Not only were pictures of the sarcophagus taken, but a space mummy was destroyed, and the entire sarcophagus was stolen by the PCs. 

I wanted to play my CD of Heavy Metal (yeah, I still use CDs - when I can find them - I'm old) but lost it somewhere.  Patrick used his phone to play the entire album.  But the songs kept getting interrupted by Red Lobster ads.  So, I told them that Space Lobster ads were coming over the "air waves" of the PC's starship... even though there isn't a Space Lobster within light years of here!

Anyways, it was a fun game.  And the last for awhile.  But I'll still run a few one-hour games via Roll20, so at least I've got that to look forward to.

BTW, Thilo reviewed Girls Gone Rogue on his Endzeitgeist website here.

Thanks for reading,

VS

p.s.  Almost forgot!  I'm still promoting my Trinity of Awesome kickstarter.  Check it out, and tell your friends.  ;)

FORCE DOCK - Alpha Blue actual play report

Another week, another Alpha Blue game on Roll20.

I both like and dislike (love and hate are too strong of words for the platform) Roll20.  It's easy, frustrating, counter-intuitive, and a lot of fun simultaneously.

Case in point: for some reason Roll20 decided to automatically write in big, bold letters, "2 Successes" when a player had rolled a 1 and 4.  That's never happened before, so perhaps one of us clicked a box or it's a new setting Roll20 is trying out.  Since it was dead wrong (1 on its own would be a crit fail and 4 is a partial success), I found it distracting.

Anyways, I'm here to report the action!

Two new players - Dave and Hawk.  Neither had played Alpha Blue before.

Dave wanted his character to be a spacer version of the Monster Magnet frontman, Dave Wyndorf.  He's an ice pirate and we never settled on a name (that I can see from the chat log), so I'll just call his character Space Lord.

Hawk wanted something weird (I usually have 2 players each time I run one of these and 50% of the party invariably wants to make an unusual character.  An alien is the weirdest, so we rolled some dice and came up with a human-sized being made of pure energy with pineapple texture on his head.  For his alienism quirks - he says random, personal things at inappropriate times and never lies or obscures the truth in order to protect himself.  For a career, he rolled pilot.  We ended up calling his character Piney.

That's as far as character creation went since we only had an hour to game.  Let's get to it...

VS:  You stole a fast starship form a crime lord you barely saw at last night's disco.  The ship came with a couple droids that are currently wandering around near the cockpit area.  The droids are the only thing of value on this ship.

Space Lord:  We need guns and mercs now.  My region of the galaxy is arid, and I have a more industrialized approach to piracy.  Are we on the station or in deep space?

VS:  You're flying through space, but you could turn around and head back for Alpha Blue.

Piney:  What do you think, Space Lord?  Should we try to pirate some ice or go back to the space station for supplies?

Space Lord:  Well, we did just steal this starship from the docks there, I presume.  I don't really remember the last couple days after I ate that Sarlacc nugget.  Probably should look at flipping this thing for a freighter... and find some lizard mercs.

Piney:  That sounds like a plan.  You know, my hemorrhoids are really bothering me today.

VS:  Your ship's scanners find a nearby planet that should provide what you're looking for.

Space Lord:  Any Federales or orbital defense picked up on our scanners?

VS:  No, this is a backwater planet.  The kind that Alpha Blue likes to hang around.

Space Lord:  Good deal.  Pineapple head, you're the pilot.  Take us down for a closer look.

Piney:  Roger dodger.

VS:  You land the ship in a clearing near a swamp.  Visuals indicate there are several reptilian humanoids standing around just outside.

Space Lord:  What kind of reptilian - feral or civilized (civilized being loosely applied).

VS:  They look like Silurians from Doctor Who.  So, apparently civilized... more or less.

Piney:  If these guys aren't here in peace, they're leaving in pieces.  Space Lord, this is your specialty.  Go talk to them.

Space Lord:  We observe for a few moments to see if they communicate.

VS:  You hear a few loud clangs.  One of the reptilians is knocking on the side of your ship.  "Hey, assholes!  What do you think you're doing parking here?  This is a no parking zone.  Can't your pilot read?"

Space Lord:  I open the hatch.  "Sorry there, my friend.  Are you with the planetary authorities?"

VS:  "No."

Piney:  Since I'm still sitting in the cockpit, I'm getting my blaster ready.

Space Lord:  "We're with an advanced survey crew from Galactic Redistribution, Inc.  We'd like to talk to someone about water samples."

VS:  "Ok, let me get S'ssszzslls," he says walking away, then turns his head, "Got any snacks?"

___________

The space adventurers find some snack food for the reptilians and two of the humanoid reptiles agree to join the crew in exchange for a couple hundred credits and a small share of any loot they find.  Turns out one of the reptilians is "good with a blaster" and the other is a pimp, naturally.

Space Lord and Piney discover that a Federation cruiser just took off with all the good water (now ice) and so the pirates attempt to intercept the Federation ship.

___________

VS:  You've located the them.

Space Lord:  How big is their ship?  Is it big enough for us to dock inside?

VS:  Alongside, yes.  The Federation cruiser is larger than yours, but not by that much.

Space Lord:  Hail them with a distress call, Piney.  Tell them our oxygenator is wack and we're all going to die unless they rescue us.  We need to dock if possible.

Piney:  Aye, we'll hail their ship.

VS:  "We don't talk to spacer scum.  Move along.  Hail the Federation!"

Space Lord:  Hmm... we could try to space jump it, that might leave their ship intact for us.  Of course, we could die horribly if we miss.  We need that ice!

Piney:  Can we force dock it?

VS:  You can try.  Roll 2d6 if you want to attempt it.

Piney:  [He rolls a 5 and 6 for a critical success!]

VS:  Ok, you successfully "force dock" your ship to theirs - which has never been done before in the history of space.

Piney:  Hail to the King, baby!  These lizards better be able to shoot straight.  Round up the droids.

Space Lord:  Can the droids hack the door or do we need to blast it?

VS:  All six of you are at the airlock as one of your droids inputs into the ship's computer.  Sparks fly and the Federation ship's door opens.

Space Lord:  If there are targets on the other side, we're ready.

VS:  You hear a few Federation troops running down the corridor towards you.

Space Lord:  No mercy!  Unless they surrender.

Piney:  Does this blaster have a disintegration option?

VS:  No, but you could always try turning it up to "11," but that might have serious consequences.

Piney:  Nah, we'll keep it at 9.5.

VS:  From what you know, Federation shock troops like these never surrender.

Space Lord:  That's how I rationalize their murder.  "Not too much damage to the inside of the ship, guys."  I hope I didn't forget my vibro-knife.

___________

A lot of laser fire is exchanged.  The PCs take down the Federation troops and make their way towards the bridge.  On their way, they see a lovely green-skinned female walking down a side corridor.  She reminded Piney of his ex-wife.

While the reptilian mercs "take care" of the female, the PCs charge on towards the bridge where they see two Federation officers pushing buttons.

Piney threatens one of them, but rolls a critical failure and is the least intimidating presence currently on the ship, giving one of the officers a chance to pull out his blaster and fire - a line of deadly red light narrowly misses his pineapple-ridged head.

Eventually, both officers are overcome and surrender to the PCs.

The reptilians lazily walk onto the bridge smoking cigarettes after its all over.  They obviously had sex with the green-skinned female.

Besides the ice, the PCs discover that the Federation ship is carrying something else of value - something called a gorlax.  Piney rolls and gets "mostly success," enough to know that a gorlax is some kind of giant, alien gorilla made of purple slime.

___________

That's all we had time for.  Both Dave and Hawk told me the session was awesome and gonzo, then they thanked me for GMing.

Both Space Lord and Piney reached 2nd level, where only their Health changes (going from 25 to 30).

I hope y'all enjoyed reading this Alpha Blue actual play report.  BTW, I recently created a new Kickstarter campaign to fund a trio of short PDF scenarios.  Only 3$!!!  Check it out.

VS

Should ENworld keep stroking itself?

The little picture at the top right was the icing on the cake... or perhaps the straw that broke the camel's back.

There's a small chance that Russ Morrissey was referring to +Kasimir Urbanski (RPGpundit) and this post.  However, it's far more likely that Russ Morrissey was talking about +Erik Tenkar of Tenkar's Tavern fame.  Last week, Tenkar posted this, this, and this.

If I'm right and Russ was referring to Erik as the "abusive personality" than things are even more dire than I feared.  Erik is a lot of things, but he is not abusive.  Oh, the thieves, scoundrels, malcontents, and idiots occasionally consider him abusive - that's because he pops the balloons of delusion those people cling to.

Here's what this is all about: ENworld posts a lot of RPG news on its front page, big splashy, colorful press releases - news and advertisements all rolled into one.  ENworld also has a few people on the payroll who either create or vet these puff pieces for gamers to look at and discuss in comments below.  They must not vet them very hard because I can't remember seeing any criticism or negative commentary anywhere on ENworld's front page.  Unless you count the user comments who are not being paid by RPG companies and/or ENworld.

I'm a little biased.  I'll admit that upfront.  +Sean Patrick Fannon had some shitty things to say about me and my sleazy space opera RPG Alpha Blue when it got temporarily removed from the virtual shelves of DriveThrRPG/RPGNow.  And I've exchanged words with Morrus on many occasions, and pretty much every time he's been either dismissive or condescending.

So, now that Russel Morrissey is expanding his RPG line with O.L.D., N.O.W., and the latest N.E.W. (Really?  And they sell even with those titles?), ENworld is suddenly inundated with in-depth analysis and several people chiming in about how awesome it is - including Russ Morrissey himself.

It's also been one of Sean's Picks of the Week.  Sean Patrick Fannon is a staff writer, reviewer, press release sifter for ENworld.  And even he admits that there's "...a fine, fuzzy line between news, promotion, and outright advertising."  Though, it looks like ENworld has crossed the line.

You might think that such false advertising (by that I mean - no disclaimer) has a negligible effect on sales; however, I just looked at DriveThruRPG and N.E.W. was uploaded on August 19th and is already a Best GOLD Seller.  Compare that to a fairly successful but small independent self-publisher like myself.  Alpha Blue was uploaded onto DriveThru on December 18th of 2015 and is currently sitting pretty (well, I think she's pretty) at Best ELECTRUM Seller.  For those of you who've never played AD&D, gold is better than electrum.

Basically, this blog post is boosting the signal for RPGpundit and Erik Tenkar, as well as, a chance to ask the gaming community some hard-hitting, philosophical questions.  Real big picture stuff.  Here goes nothing...

• Does this kind of thing (payola) bother you?
• How susceptible are you to hype, advertising, promotion, and the like?
• Do you prefer to only hear about games from big companies with lots of advertising dollars behind them? 
• Why are labels, brands, and officially authorized/licensed take-your-pick important to the average RPG consumer?
• Would you agree that creating a sense of immersion is a high priority in RPGs?
• Would you also agree that rules-light RPGs are more immersive because they present less obstacles, procedures, and time devoted to looking things up?
• Since crunchy and rules-heavy games are three times less likely to bring in new roleplaying blood than simple and rules-light games (yeah, I just made that statistic up - but it seems legit to me), why continue to support the former over the latter?
• Is authority more important or valuable than autonomy?  

Thanks for reading,

VS