Thursday, February 25, 2021

Welcome To The Thunderdome


The inaugural episode of our monthly podcast Gonzo Up Your Ass! is available.  Aaron the Pedantic and I had a nice little chat about how to make your RPG sessions more gonzo and/or metal.

If you're checking this blog post out on a mobile device, the video may not show up.  In that case, here is a direct link to the YouTube video. 

Have a question or suggestion about gonzo/metal in your game?  Let us know so we can talk about it.



p.s. Only a short time left to back my Saving Cha'alt kickstarter.  Back it to get more bang for your buck - as many as 7 eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalyptic scenarios!

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Cyborg Tomato


Not sure how I happened upon this, but it's awesome and gameable and it's going into Saving Cha'alt... somewhere somehow.  

As luck would have it, I needed a gimmick for the A.I. patrolling the prison-city known as Sanz Egra'as.  Cyborg tomato it is, then.  


If you haven't backed the Kickstarter yet, there's only 9 days left.  What are you waiting for?


Friday, February 12, 2021

Gonzo Up Your Ass!


Aaron the Pedantic and I will be tag-teaming a new hour-long, once a month podcast that will showcase how you can make your D&D more gonzo and/or metal.

How did this all come about?  Aaron was dismayed that Mork Borg gave you fish rather than teaching you how to fish, when it comes to metal-izing your adventures and campaign.  Well, Aaron and I want to teach you how to fish.  

For those who don't know, Metallica wanted to call their first album Metal Up Your Ass, but the pussy record company wouldn't allow it, so they came up with Kill 'Em All, instead.  Since this podcast is for both gonzo and metal, I thought Gonzo Up Your Ass had a nice ring to it.  ;)

The first show is Tuesday night, February 23rd (7:30-8:30pm central standard time).  Aaron also got his logo guy to make this badass thing over here.  Sweet!

Thanks for your continued support, everyone.


p.s. Almost forgot about the Saving Cha'alt kickstarter.  It's awesome, please back it!!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Larry Flynt: Space Hustler


It's obvious to me that without Larry Flynt, there might not be an Alpha Blue RPG.  And what a tragedy that would be for the universe!

I just found out that he died.  Champion of free speech and lover of all things sleazy... RIP, hoss.

From now until Monday, I'm bringing 3 Alpha Blue titles to the low, low price of $1.  

It all started with Alpha Blue.  That gets you in the mood while teaching you everything you need to play.

Girls Gone Rogue is the first Alpha Blue supplement.  More options, random tables, and scenarios.

An even bigger and nastier supplement is Universal Exploits. It's got everything! 

I tried to make everything as rules-light, gameable, humorous, sexy, and sci-fi as I could.  Anyway, enjoy.  Pour a Purple Prizm out for one of my heroes, Larry Flynt.  If you want to read about the man, this is as good a place as any.


p.s. Yep, my Saving Cha'alt kickstarter is going for another couple weeks.  Back it now before you have to pay retail [shudders uncontrollably].

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

WotC Apology for Stuff of Legends


Here it is.  After the twitter backlash, we all knew it was coming.  Wizards apologies for Stuff of Legends.  Read their letter below...

Dear fans, customers, and D&D community;

It has come to our attention that Stuff of Legends, our new D&D web series involving "muppets" has negatively impacted those sensitive to such things.  While many in our toxic culture would call you social justice warriors, virtue signaling twerps, and complete idiots, we understand.  We hear you.  And we're there for you.

Obviously, large breasts, as well as the platemail which bouys them, is sexist and awful, probably racist, too, and no doubt the product of straight white male terrorism in our very midst.  

Furthermore, even though the character's name is quite amusing, we now realize that humor is the enemy.  Remember, while you're laughing, fascism is rising!  Joking around is forbidden at the gaming table, unless of course, everyone has checked the box on the consent checklist.  But even then, don't do it.  No laughing!

Henceforth, we will be calling this Tiddy-gate.  Heads will roll.  Heads as giant and round as that muppet's tiddies.  So it shall be!


WotC Management 

Before you go, check out my latest kickstarter campaign for eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalyptic adventures set in Cha'alt.  If you like what you see, back Saving Cha'alt!

Thursday, January 28, 2021

Saving Cha'alt Kickstarter


I know I said February 5th, but just couldn't think of a good reason not to pull the trigger.

The Saving Cha'alt Kickstarter launched yesterday, and is already on track to do big things!  With your help, we can reach 7k.

That means talking about it on twitter, FB, reddit, Mewe, YouTube, RPG forums/blogs, and whatever social media platform you're on.  

Don't be shy about reviewing stuff like Crimson Dragon Slayer D20Cha'alt, and Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise. I'm also making myself available for interviews.

All the info is on the KS page, but if you want to talk Cha'alt or ask questions, feel free to do so here.

Thanks for your continued support!

Venger As'Nas Satanis
High Priest of Kort'thalis Publishing

p.s. Saving Cha'alt has already funded!

Monday, January 25, 2021

Cha'alt Book 3 next year?


Ok, so the first two Cha'alt books turned out great.  The Kickstarters were both successful, and the quality is off the charts!

Next year... yes, I'm talking about 2022, I'd like to Kickstart the third Cha'alt book.  To the right, you can see a quick concept sketch for the Cha'alt: Chartreuse Shadows cover art.  

It's a mish-mash of awesome stuff I've grown up with over the years... Beastmaster, Indiana Jones, Conan (sword), Lovecraftian tentacles, and hot fantasy ladies.  What do you think?

However, I've been reliably informed by my wife that until I get the 1,000 print run of Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise sold (200 of those already out the door), I can't move forward - except for commissioning the cover art, of course.

So, in the meantime, I'm launching an in-between Kickstarter to help sell Fuchsia Malaise books, as well as, one or more short PDF adventures set in the eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalyptic campaign setting of Cha'alt.  The further we break stretch goal barriers, the more adventures will be released into backers' hands.

That KS has already been submitted for approval with a launch date of February 5th.  It'll run a full 30 days.  Should be pretty cool.  The more $ it makes, the better value backers will get.  I have many adventure ideas just waiting to be uncaged!

So, check back here for details.  If you have questions or suggestions, definitely let me know.


p.s.  Why wait for the Kickstarter when you can order your luxury hardcover Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise right now!

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Spell Components in Cha'alt


I'm workshopping something new for my Cha'alt campaign, maybe it'll appear in the 3rd book next year... who knows?

At character creation, magic-using PCs must either choose or roll on the following random table to determine their fetishistic spell focus - a component which is part and parcel of their sorcery.

  1. Fire - any kind of flame or intense heat.
  2. Water - any of the three states of water (liquid, steam, or ice).
  3. Gold - self explanatory.
  4. Flesh - think: sex magic.
  5. Blood - ritual bloodletting and death.
  6. Crystal - any crystalline structure.
  7. Energy - high-tech power supplies.
  8. Emotional Turmoil - eliciting a powerful emotional response from one or more humanoids around you.

So, what are the pros and cons?  
  • Casting without your spell component yields a 2 in 6 chance of spell failure.
  • Casting with a small or medium amount of your spell component just means that magic is cast normally.  Casting with a large amount of your spell component effectively doubles the potency of that spell.  
  • The higher the spell level, the more component you need.  A 1st level spell might only require a single gold piece or "shot" from a blaster's energy-cell.  4th level spells may take a fist-sized crystal or consume a torch.

Keep in mind that when a particular component is used, it's entirely spent... water evaporates, crystal becomes dull rock, gold pieces turn to lead, and lifeforce is consumed.  This prevents sorcerers from using the same energy-cell to summon a demon over and over again.

Why bother doing this?  Well, it's just another thing to both keep players on their toes while creating interesting situations.  Could be fun... go ahead and give it a try!  And let me know the results.

If this seems to work, I could add more components.  Light, darkness, slime, who knows?  Feel free to suggest your own!


p.s. Book II of the Cha'alt trilogy, Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise is selling like hot-cakes.  Click over here to find out how to order the luxury hardcover (and get the PDF FREE).

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Dead Poet Dungeon Master


Today, I'm blogging about the "sweaty-toothed madman" technique of adventure writing.  

Don't bother googling it, I just made that shit up... but not out of thin air.  

I fondly remember watching the movie Dead Poet Society in 1989.  Very relatable since I was, and still am, an anti-authoritarian creative writer.

So, what's this sweaty-toothed madman technique about?  Sometimes, saying (or writing) the first thing that comes into your mind is a winning strategy.  Game Masters who love coming up with details on the spot do this all the time.  Maybe they filter out the more ridiculous notions, maybe not.

Let's take an example - a black box.  The PCs have it in their hot little hands.  They want to open it, and you (as GM), don't have a clue what's in there.  Now what?

The safe option is to stall for time until you can think of something suitably interesting.  Perhaps, the black box doesn't open right away... or skeevers attack just as the thief pries the lid to have a peek.

However, if you want to come up with something off-the-wall and possibly inspired, say the first thing that comes to your mind.

In the following scene, Keating (Robin Williams at his best) coaxes something from one of his students, Todd.

Keating: A picture of Uncle Walt [Whitman] up there, what does he remind you of, don't think, answer.

Todd: A madman.

Keating: What kind of madman?

Todd: A crazy madman.

Keating: No, you can do better than that, free up your mind, use your imagination, say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it's total gibberish, go on, go on.

Todd: A sweaty-toothed madman.

Keating: Good God boy, there's a poet in you, after all.  There, close your eyes, close your eyes, close 'em, now describe what you see.

Todd: I close my eyes...

Keating: Yes.

Todd: And this image floats beside me.

Keating: A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain.

Keating: Oh, that's excellent, now give him an action, make him do something.

Todd: His hands reach out and choke me.

Keating: That's excellent, wonderful, wonderful.

Todd: And all the time he's mumbling.

Keating: What's he mumbling?

Todd: Mumbling truth, truth like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold. [laughter]

Keating: Forget them, forget them, stay with the blanket, tell me about the blanket.

Todd: you push it, stretch it, it will never be enough, you kick at it, beat it, it will never cover any of us.  From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face, as you wail and cry and scream.

Keating: [Whispering to Todd] Don't you forget this.

[For mobile devices, you may not see a video...Click here, instead]

Indeed, we all have something inside of us worth a great deal.

So, that's it, essentially.  Closing your eyes isn't necessary, but letting your imagination flow is.  The results don't always produce great things; however, the sweaty-toothed madman technique occasionally beats the pants off everything else.  

I don't remember mentioning Dead Poet Society in my book How To Game Master Like A Fucking Boss, but it's possible.  If I have time, I'll take a gander later today.


p.s. I've got luxury hardcovers of Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise for sale.  Ordering details right over here!