"I could slather something on that pocket-dog that'll make it sit up and bark at the lavender moons" - Hump-Day CHA'ALT Campaign Session Report

 

Sometimes, sacrifices must be made... and sometimes things just work out a certain way; happily coinciding like fate.

It's becoming clear now that our last session in "season 3" of our Cha'alt campaign was the actual end, as I suspected it might be.  And if you've been keeping tabs, last Wednesday night I tried to start what would be a long-term (West Marches style, so whoever shows up gets to play in a loose, player-directed series of adventures) virtual Roll20 game set in Cha'alt.

Me telling folks that I want to run a one-shot 24-hours (or even less) whenever I had free time was not working.  I'd get a small handful of people signing-up, and then usually one player would actually show, resulting in another canceled session.  Not cool.

I did what I've been having to do lately, think smarter, be cunning, and use the sly-man approach.  I mean, in this instance, I just did the next logical step - set up a regular weekly game that's always-on so folks can prepare for it and know that it's going to be there as a permanent fixture.  If a dozen or so gamers are aware of Wednesday night's game, that increases the likelihood of getting enough players to play.

Sidenote, it looks like VENGER CON will remain a small but dedicated gaming convention for the hardcore several who keep coming back for more.  Scaling it down allows it to not lose money (first couple years broke-even, but going to the newer, nicer venue has seen a small financial loss the last two years), and I don't have to stress about not selling enough badges to pay for itself.  I can focus on what VENGER CON should be about - pushing oneself to create a fantastic gaming experience so awesome and profound that it changes the medium forever.  That's the kind of cultural significance I'd like to manifest.

Ok, back to the Wednesday night (9:30 - 11:00pm) virtual Cha'alt campaign.  Last week didn't work out (only one player again), but I kept at it because it was important to put this in motion and keep it going until it started paying out.  We had 3 players last night, my second attempt at starting the hump-day campaign.  Success!

I'm going to give folks the gist and highlight a few phrases from last night's game, which is easy to do since my virtual sessions are text-only.  I can simply re-read and copy/paste the sort of things I wish I could fully remember when playing live face-to-face (though, I do take notes for the session reports that follow).  I'm going to follow this brief session report up with info on how I'm running Divine Favor, because what I'm doing now is different and I want my players, as well as, those taking a keen interest in Cha'alt, to know what's up.

Ok, the three players were ST-K1 or The Saint, an assassin droid gone rogue who's become a mechanical soldier of fortune (warrior).  ST can feel when magic is afoot.  I've GMed ST-K1 several times, both on Roll20 and VENGER CON.  Ka'az Shoro is a swashbuckling blue-velvet elven thief and ladies man who loathes real work.  Then, we had Vor'sarkh, a droid sorcerer who's also a Cthulhu worshiper.  Everyone started at 3rd level with max HP.

The opening crawl... or scrawl, I should say, since it's just an introductory block of text setting the stage...

In a time before and yet also after time, there had been a universe containing the inestimable Cha'alt. Desert planet; aya'ahuasca-flavored popsicles; fuchsia sky, worms everywhere, weird shit, man. Twin suns so hot they'll make your worm's neck penis blister in the shade. Yeah, that's how hot it is. 

The three of you haven't known each other long, but find yourselves this night in the Burnt Umber Jackal-Worm, a shitty cantina in the bad part of town. However, it's got one thing that most dives don't - three stripper poles in the sunken stage area towards the back, carpeted with neon-pink leopard. 

Ok, tell me what you're currently doing in the cantina and either who you're with or what's on your mind.  BTW, you're all 3rd level in this dimension - the yellow electric banana dimension.

There was a lot of conversation, banter back-and-forth, and getting a lay of the land... in more ways than one.

Ka'az wanted to get his sleaze factor-5 bonus on, and started talking to the ladies.  The Saint was playing the kalimba for anyone interested in hearing it.  Vor'sarkh was a former custodial droid forced to clean toilets for a Cthulhu cult out in the deep desert.  As he had recently escaped, he was looking for money in order to survive.

The techno dark ambient dub-step with repurposed Lord GaGa's vocals spliced over the top via A.I. drowns out your kalimba, sadly.  The bartender keeps eyeing the two organics, expecting you to eventually order a drink. "You sad-sacks gonna drink something or just sit there looking like a horny incel on blue dreamers?"

As the PCs ogled the strippers and started making moves (including ST attempting to interface with a filthy, slutty financial computer), a patron of sorts entered the scene...

After several minutes of digital degradation, and the bartender condescending your manhoods as he shakes his head, a demon approaches. He's got a full black beard and a sack full of coins. "I've heard someone over here might be interested in making some real money."

He gives you a smarmy, self-satisfied smile before telling you how simple the job is. There are ruins to the north about an hour's journey on foot, swallowed by the desert years ago. Earlier this evening, a few men came in here talking about something they saw in the Seena-Ellistra'ad ruins, something with a unique coloration not seen on Cha'alt for millennia. Bring back whatever it is, whatever has that otherworldly hue, and all this gold - gold, mind you, not talons - shall be yours to share."

When asked what the exact color is, and how big, heavy, or transportable this colorful object might be, the demon responded...

"It would be impossible for a lowly servant of Kort'thalis , such as myself, to describe. But it has been said the color is like dwindling twilight just before the violent end to a disappointing universe.  A source has told me that the object, whatever it is, can be held... or wielded, either one or two-handed."

After a few more shenanigans, they headed out into the desert at night to find the Seena-Ellistra'ad ruins.  A chatty midnight-elf had followed them out of the cantina and kept talking to them as they trekked through the sand.  Sharing fun-facts such as...

 "Seena-Ellistra'ad is the Niagara Falls of the S'kbah desert, they say."  And, "Did you know that twerking was first invented on Cha'alt? That's how the women-folk used to call sandworms."

So much worldbuilding going on!  Cha'alt is growing exponentially, it seems.  More stage setting...

As you walk amongst the magenta-turned-violet night sky, under the ascending lavender moons, the sound of an ululating sandworm catches your ears. It could be far-off, but there's no way of knowing with the desert's echoes.

Eventually, the PCs noticed a pylon to the west and they investigated.  A humanoid in black robes was guarding the open entrance.  The PCs tried talking to him, but he was all about the guarding, cutting deep into Vor'sarkh's hip and outer-thigh with a magical scimitar, almost severing his mechanical leg.  The Saint and Ka'az made short work of him, flanking the guard with sneak-attacks.

Vor purposefully broke the 4th wall to tell the GM (henceforth known in the hump-day Cha'alt campaign as Sofa King) that he felt no pain.  I awarded him a point of Divine Favor for that, but he was still badly wounded and no priest.  Ka'az casually mentioned that droids could heal when powering-down and dreaming of electric sheep.  Hey, works for me!

Inside, was an indigo-blue light flashing.  ST went inside to check it out, seeing an elven sorceress zapping the matrix table with her wand.  The Saint tried to explain the rationality of SCIENCE to her, but she insulted him and continued.  

That's where we ended the session.  In the moment, it can be a little hard to follow what everyone is saying, as there will be times that I'm typing a response to someone, and in that time, two or more players have chimed-in, and yeah.  If I missed anything as we play, don't be afraid to remind me when I've neglected to reply to what you've posted.  

Divine Favor

I used to give everyone starting Divine Favor right off the bat, but now that there are so many ways to earn it, I'd rather keep DF as an incentivizing tool.  Ok, here are all the ways of earning Divine Favor...

• Breaking the 4th wall in an amusing, interesting, or poignant way.
• Stimulating a Cha'alt X-Card.
• Doing something amazingly hilarious and/or awesome, above and beyond all the amazing, hilarious and awesome things that PCs are routinely doing.
• Rolling the Zeeku die (the d6 that accompanies d20 rolls to determine if that action coincides with either a complication or opportunity) in which the result is a 1.  Yeah, I'm going to make Zeeku optional and up to players themselves to remember, since I don't feel like policing everyone's d20 rolls throughout the campaign - I've got too much on my plate for that.
• Stroking the proverbial sandworm as one whispers their inner-thoughts like in the 1984 Dune voice-over [yes, this is new... something I've been thinking about for the last couple weeks].  
• Implementing the gilded die of Satanis, which I'm in the process of retooling for virtual games.  Something like, if you succeed, some kind of awkward, embarrassing, cringe side-effect occurs during your attempted action.  But if you fail, nothing embarrassing happens at all.
• And whatever I decide to add to this list as the hump-day Cha'alt campaign continues.  I'll probably come up with something on a session-by-session basis, like creating and implementing another layer to your character's backstory.

Incidentally, it occurred to me that not only should DF be bankable (saved for later), but borrowed.  Let's say, you need to burn some DF right now but don't have any stored up... and want to save the Cha'alt X-Card or whatever for a later date.  You can use it now, even though you're earning it later (that spent-ahead-of-time point gets immediately burned).  

If you haven't earned DF that you've already spent by the session's end, you "go into debt."  Which will probably result in some kind of hilariously awful penalty exacted upon your PC at the start of the next session.

Ok, next hump-day session will be the following Wednesday from 9:30 - 11:00pm via Roll20 (text-only and 18+).  I'll announce when the next session's listing is online (first on the Kult of Kort'thalis community on X, then the rest of X and FB.  

Thanks for reading, hoss!

VS

p.s.  Yes, weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want a great new TTRPG community where you can hang out with other gamers, get ideas, advice, and training in order to improve?  Look no further than the fastest-growing group on X - it's the Kult of Kort'thalis.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  

"Blessed Be His Comings & Goings" - CHA'ALT Campaign 3.18

 

If this was the last session of our Cha'alt campaign season 3, then it was a good one.  Hopefully, we get one more game this year, but we'll have to see...

5 players this time.  An old friend and Crimson Bastard from a year or two ago joined us, as well as, that new player I've been talking to.  Both the new guys played warriors, P8T was a droid and Suede was a human with blue suede shoes that made him extra cool (it was undecided whether Bandersnatch, the blue suede elf, had bequeathed his flesh willingly upon his death in another dimension or if Bander and Suede were foes and in that particular dimension, Suede had gotten the upper hand.  

I had both of them roll on the Everyone Has A Past d100 table in How To Game Master Like A Fucking Boss.  P8T found a magical ring of free action (that would give him a bonus action every encounter / scene), and Suede got Advantage on his next roll after experiencing a "weird event."  This being Cha'alt, we all just looked at each other, knowing that one man's weirdness in a "normal" campaign would probably just be a Tuesday in this one.

The original 3 players shared a collective dream - they were in a darkened courtroom, a giant bird their lawyer.  Thurberus was accused of using his cult leader schemes to defraud the IRS, Tinker was accused of being a Communist.  Bandersnatch accused of biting the head off a live bat years ago when he was playing guitar in that band, and an audience member got blood in his eye and contracted kovidian-syphilis.  The PCs' attorney approached the bench... with birdseed.  They were asked how they pleaded.  Guilty, innocent, it didn't really matter.  As a portable 3-person guillotine was wheeled into the courtroom, their lawyer muttered "If only you had something that could offset your transgressions... such as a devil-tongued banana fork or unicorn made out of folded paper."

A call for any last words was responded with Thurberus quickly asking if anyone wanted to join his dead (tentacled) cow cult and if he could be allowed to pull the cord, which, I suppose, would be the ultimate final act of a man responsible for a suicide cult.  However, the reply came "No." and the blade came down as all three woke up.

Armed with laser-swords, the two noob PCs (I made them 7th level since the rest of the party was 8th - including Bandersnatch, Thurberus, and Tinker) appeared alongside Garblegax as he plucked his bass zita'ar.

Exposition followed as Garblegax got everyone up to speed on what's going on - the foul 4 (prominent infernal beings slumming it in Kha'alestine) had imprisoned the Great Old One Igg-Yig-Yatha'ak.  Garblegax wanted revenge, and the PCs intended to free the Old One (again) now that they had the attunement ritual and proper invocation to activate the ultra-telluric glyphs.

So, the foul 4 will be at the gladiatorial arena in Kha'alestine this evening.  The demonic imp gave the PCs a poison pellet meant to activate when dropped into chilled worm wine - revenge is a dish best served cold - but requested the adventurers rescue a v'smm priest, not unlike Thurberus, being held in a correctional facility for infidels, dissidents, and the criminally insane. This prisoner was Serethub.

Popping them into the city of Kha'alestine, the PCs saw the upper rim of the arena a mile or two away, and the correctional facility was only a 100-feet to their right.  First things first (it was suggested that the prisoner Garblegax wanted the PCs to free might have actionable knowledge about the infernals).

After having a non-productive conversation with the man sitting at a desk inside the facility, Thurberus slit his throat and found Esperanto flash-cards upon looting his body.  Making their way down a spiral staircase, they entered a massive cavern.

It contained a few Kha'alestinian clerics, about 10 guards, and 2 dozen prisoners, tied-up and forced to look at disturbing shadows wobbling upon the cave wall as a bonfire burned with an evil orange light.  In fact, the fire looked alive to Bander's eye of true seeing.  

Tinker talked to a guard, wanting to see Serethub privately.  Of course, the official greeting in Kha'alestine is Admiral Ackbar (the Aloha of the Kha'alestinian people) At this point, they learned that all the prisoners forced to watch the sanity-destroying shadow-play were trapped in some kind of nightmare.  The only antidote was the blue lotus root.

As is typical of situations like these, it ended in an orgy of violence... and not just violence.  The guards and clerics attacked the PCs, and wounds were taken on both sides.  Approximately halfway through combat, Bandersnatch cast a spell using a crystal to power it.  He rolled on the weird spell effect table contained in Fuchsia Malaise and got a natural 100... witch orgy!  Time stopped as the PCs stepped across a magenta mist barrier.  Each of them got to lay with a woman, although Thurberus rolled lowest and had to make do with a witch who looked an awful lot like a demonic Whoopi Goldberg.  

Rejuvenated and now bolstered with the sleaze factor-5 bonuses, the fighting continued.  The Crimson Bastards were victorious.  With a couple left alive for questioning, they secured the blue lotus root and freed the other prisoners before heading to the gladiatorial arena.  P8T had the idea of pouring water from a guard's canteen upon the fire entity.  I rolled that 2-in-6 chance, and sure enough, the water killed it.  A bit anti-climactic like Indiana Jones shooting the sword guy, but that's the way the dice go, sometimes.

Now that Serethub was saved, he was able to reunite with his twin brother (a detail I pulled out from way back at the beginning of the season), sharing the lavender gemstone embedded in their flesh.  Serethub, wearing spotted-cow velvet robes, wanted to join forces with Thurberus and create a joint cow-themed cult.  But first, he would help the PCs defeat the foul four.  The other v'smm priest knew that the demons carried a scroll with them where all the significant details of their comings and goings were recorded.

At the arena, the PCs made a plan to poison 2 of the foul four, Bander turned Tinker invisible, and the others had them surrounded so when things went down, they could pounce.  One by one the PCs took their offensive actions.  I rolled a 1 on the saving throw for one demon and a mid result on the other.  So, they were off to a good start.  It took several rounds, but the PCs defeated three of the foul four, and their guards.  The last demon escaped into a portal as P8T shot his laser into it.  

Surveying the chaos and looting the bodies, they found a scroll accounting for all their recent deeds that goes out monthly to Kort'thalis.  Between that and a guard under enhanced interrogation, the adventurers discovered that Igg-Yig-Yatha'ak was being held in a hyperspace room within The Black Pyramid.  Suede threw a bunch of jewels and coins to the Kha'alestinian spectators in the arena as the boysenberry-plum scorpion-worm continued to end the lives of many humanoids who hadn't filled their daily quota of saying "Admiral Ackbar."

The PCs traveled there, interrupting a last supper with a K'tulu cult, traded some banter, and followed that demon (while also using a glyph drawn upon the scroll allowing them to track the Old One).  They soon came to another room where two factions were fighting.

Suede's player asked me if the two groups attacking each other were wearing red and blue.  That could have been a reference to several things, I'm guessing.  I said no, they were dressed in fairly traditional robes.  It wasn't until after the session, thinking about it in preparation for this blog post, that I believe my mind was trying to subconsciously convey the idea that our game wasn't just improv.  Sure, there's a fair amount of that and player input, but it's not pure storygaming, nor a "bullshit session," which I've heard people describe unscripted back and forth between players and the GM.

What I should have done is either roll the standard 2-in-6 chance or, better yet, encourage the player to stimulate one of the Cha'alt X-Cards and use whatever red/blue thing he was getting at as part of the set-up or execution based on whatever aesthetic-key he chose.  In fact, that's a potent way of altering the scene as the player makes his will known and the GM adjudicates the results according to various factors.  

In any case, the PCs saw that last demon on the other side of the battlefield, making it nearly impossible to hit him with a standard ranged weapon.  As they decided on their next course of action, the demon had brought out a mega-blaster that was ridiculous in size and power.  Before he could fire it, Bandersnatch created a portal to the purple labyrinth directly below him and another above where the adventurers themselves were standing, so that he'd drop down into their lap.

After some rolls, the demon did go down but then just disappeared.  Bander's player decided to stimulate the humor Cha'alt X-Card.  A couple minutes later, they heard a distant "Aa'ahhhh!" sound as the demon came through the second portal above the PCs and broke his fall atop P8T.  Hey, people laughed.  

The droid (who had been trying to keep his mechanical identity a secret) was dazed as the demon lowered his mega-blaster and fired upon the helpless warrior.  I brought out the percentile dice and shook them long and hard so as to increase the suspense.  Everyone knew that a d100 damage roll could go very badly.  Luckily, I rolled a 44.  P8T, being a 7th level warrior, was able to take the hit and remain functional.

Soon after that, the PCs finally killed him.  They walked to the next room containing a doorway to the Great Old One's hyperspace purgatory.  The adventures, led by Bandersnatch, performed the ritual with all the ingredients (thanks Chip and not-Kelly Bundy) and said the magic words (I've seen it spelled multiple ways over the years, so don't get pedantic, hoss) Kla'atu Vera'ada Nikto.  It worked, and Igg-Yig-Yatha'ak, though at the moment in a weakened state from his powers being siphoned while in hyperspace by the foul four, was at the PCs' command.

Out of time and feeling as though this was the best conclusion for this season of our Cha'alt campaign (as of right now, I don't think we're going to get another full session in before winter), we closed it out.  A big, neon, tentacled thank you to readers of Venger's old-school gaming blog, Kort'thalis Publishing supporters, and all my players, past, present, and future for contributing to the game and making Cha'alt what it is.  Yes, you guys are partly to blame.  Post-post-modern TTRPG culture would like to have a word with you, hoss. 

Next year will be the 4th season of our Cha'alt campaign, and I'm considering interjecting some kind of long-term formula into the planning.  Not just a bunch of scribbled notes, a hope, dream, and demonic prayer.  But I have a couple months to research and implement such a campaign formula.

All in all, I'm pleased with how this season shook-out.  Many "By His loathsome tentacles" were uttered in order to get that +1 bonus.  Also, this was supposed to be partially Halloween themed, but when we finally got to The Black Pyramid, I was focused on wrapping things up.  Too bad, since I have a whole page in Chartreuse Shadows about making the pyramid all spooky.  That came out of a Cha'alt session I ran at Game Hole Con before that gaming convention started identifying as they/them.  

Speaking of which, there have been a couple amusing videos regarding Game Hole Con and VENGER CON flyers.  here's one from RPG Pundit and the awesome Diversity & Dragons livestream talking about whoever put a bunch of VENGER CON V: The Will To Power flyers on windshields at the Game Hole Con parking lot.  

Enjoy,

VS

p.s.  Fantastic news - weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want a great new TTRPG community where you can hang out with other gamers, get ideas, advice, and training in order to improve?  Look no further than the fastest-growing group on X - it's the Kult of Kort'thalis.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  

"The Greatest Secret Pertaining to the Dessert of Cha'alt" - CHA'ALT Campaign 3.17

 

As the campaign winds down, I wanted to utilize one of my latest hand-drawn maps.  The color scheme was inspired by mint-chocolate ice cream (although, it could easily double as a swamp).

The players praised the map as soon as they saw it.  Thusly did it manifest the worm's share of the session.  

We almost had two new players, but things happened and the adventuring party soldiered on with Bandersnatch, Thurberus, and Tinker.

But first... I had the players do a couple things (beyond leveling their characters.  Those three are now 8th level and should have gained a new feat at 7th, FYI).  First, I wanted them each to come up with something about their character that's fairly big or meaningful or important that no one else in the party has any idea about.  And if that information is relayed to others at some point in the campaign, they'll get a point of Divine Favor for it.

Bandersnatch said that he was his own grandfather, having gone back in time at some point to have sex with his grandmother when she was young.  His new feat gave victims of his sorcery Disadvantage on their saving throws.

Thurberus told us he had an unknown type of lavender gem embedded on his body (I think the middle of his chest).  His parents never told him what that was about - it was years before he realized no one else had such a flesh-stone.  Sometimes, that gem grants sensory impressions of things happening in other dimensions and possible futures.  The v'symm priest chose the animal companion feat last time.

Tinker had been taken in by a tribe of Kha'alestinians as a youth, joining their struggle to free Kha'alestine.  This tied-in to his latest feat... that he knew their language and culture, making him a helpful guide when it came time to adventure within Kha'alestine.

Second, I utilized a trick from a blog post my friend sent me weeks ago, the heading for this part of the blog post was something like the cauldron of chaos.  I took a scrap of paper with a suggestion written on it by each player and placed it within the suggestion skull (of secrets).  Once per session, I would remove a suggestion and try to incorporate that into the game, either in that moment or soon after.  So, the players did that.  

Every session, new suggestions - any suggestion at all, for an example I said you could write down "Go fuck yourself!" and maybe I'd do an impression of Elon Musk - are added, until there's quite a few in there.  Starting this so late in the campaign, there won't be a ton by the time we've finished with this season, and I want to incorporate this from the very beginning of our 4th year of the Cha'alt campaign starting in January.

Still within the Temple of Unimagined Horrors - there's a reason, I suppose, why the horrors of this temple are unimagined.  Because, aside from dozens of impaled victims at the beginning and the weirdness of being inside some kind of gigantic Cha'altian creature, there wasn't much in the way of horrific goings on.  Basically, I never imagined them.  Clever ruse or me and my imagination totally dropping the ball?  You decide!  Incidentally, I did sit down and try to think of horrific shit several times, but kept drawing a blank... now that I don't need them, I'm sure the ideas will start flowing.

As the PCs headed towards the last few flesh-cavities yet to be explored, they came upon a grey oblong box.  Thurberus opened it to find his Gallifrey cardinal violet robes cleaned and pressed by the House of the Rising Moons Dry-Cleaners.  Alone with his robes was a scroll tied at the middle with a Gallifrey cardinal violet ribbon.  Written upon the scroll, in zoth, was the following... "Enjoy the freshness.  You, Thurberus, owe me one (1) favor.  Your friend, Garblegax"

Wearing the clean robes of that Gallifrey cardinal violet hue, they kept going.  Thurberus couldn't help but show a knowing smirk.  One day, that demonic imp would no doubt ask for something...

Pulling another monster out of my new DCC bestiary, the PCs encountered something that resembled mirror-like metallic plates covering the wall and floor.  As Tinker investigated, the thing turned into a strange mirror image of the pixie-fairy and attacked him.  Tinker used his bottle of spider milk (which melted it), Thurberus smashed it with the basket he was weaving at the time, and Bander cast an ectoplasmic webbing over the stuff that hadn't transformed yet.  Thurberus used his obsidian thorn staff to absorb whatever soul energy the mirror-metal creature released.

Easily defeated, the party moved on.  They heard the clicking and whirring of machines and saw eleven velociraptor-cyborgs walking around, protecting a towering super-computer towards the back of the cavity.

Into combat they went, Thurberus blasting 4 of the velociraptor-cyborgs with his staff, Bander slicing into a couple of them like they were warm butter.  Meanwhile, the cyborgs were blasting the PCs with red laser eyes and by the 3rd round, everyone was hurting.  Tinker came up with a rather inventive idea - he damaged and then proceeded to threatened the super-computer who eventually ordered his servitors to stand down, which they did.  

The towering computer claimed to be The Oracle, and agreed to answer their questions as long as they performed a service for him - explore his latest "dungeon," essentially, playtesting it before The Oracle met with his own gaming group.  Like any fucking boss, he GMed Cha'alt.  Various sentient machines across the planet played in his campaign.

As the PCs were both trying to come to grips with The Oracle's ask while also stammering in an attempt to let this super-computer down easy without trying his new dungeon, The Oracle zapped them into his creation.  While traveling, The Oracle told them the origins of The Frozen Caves of Mint-Chocolate!  You see, the whole thing came about via a typo when a player in The Oracle's game asked about the greatest secret pertaining to the desert of Cha'alt.  However, in the binary translations of code, it came out as dessert, and The Oracle's A.I. generated the Frozen Caves of Mint-Chocolate.

Appearing within a cave made of frozen mint-chocolate ice cream, the PCs were so they could see their breath. They walked through a tunnel to discover what was up ahead.  At this point, I offered an adventure-themed snack... mint-chocolate ice cream for anyone who wanted it.  Only myself and Bandersnatch's player partook.

Frost-bitten falcons, seemingly made of ice, flew around, occasionally nibbling on a frozen humanoid corpse.  This dude had been sliced open, nearly cut in two.  In front of the dead guy was a message written in either strawberry syrup topping or blood. "2% butterscotch ripple."

Not knowing what that meant, but believing it could be important, they filed that info away and kept going.  They soon found a shivering derelict with his hands tucked into his jacket pockets, muttering to himself that the ratio was off - too much chocolate, not enough mint.  Tinker got close enough for the derelict to stab him with a mint-scorpion dagger.  It did minimal damage, but when Bandersnatch identified the magic item, it was revealed to have the power of killing an opponent who failed to save (if the top number for damage - 4 - was rolled).  Tinker wanted and took that weapon after they killed the shivering derelict.

He had some local currency, too, in a Herculean effort of vast creativity and unparalleled imagination, I came up with "mint-chocolate ice cream coins" on the spot.  Lol.  Hey, it had been a month between games; I was rusty.  However, I soon mentioned that the precision of working bas-relief pictures and text onto the individual coins affected the value... which is something.

Soon, they encountered mint-chocolate elves who were literally made of ice cream.  These were the native guardians of the frozen caves.  They asked the elves if they knew who The Oracle was.  They didn't.  The elves couldn't help the PCs escape this mint-chocolate cave system, so they went on.  But not before giving the adventurers their 3rd best warrior to guide them around.  He was named Chip.

The PCs found a cave where the worshipers of Vertoothgura'ath lived.  They were performing some sort of ritual honoring their ultra-telluric ancestors, asking for wisdom.  Based on the gestures, words, and symbols drawn upon the cave, it led the PCs to believe these folks weren't from around here.  Sure enough, these worshipers were from outer space.  They came here, persecuted for their beliefs by anti-Old One forces, in hopes of finding an ultimate weapon to defeat their enemies.

So far, they have a mint-chocolate hued box that did nothing at all.  Bander asked to investigate the box, to see if he could find a way of activating or attuning it.  The cultist asked Bander to place his hand in the box.  When he reluctantly did, the cultist slammed the box lid down upon the sorcerer's hand.  For that, Bandersnatch decapitated the cultist.  No one in the cult minded because that guy was an asshole.

But they also had a formula (the ingredients were mint-chocolate ice cream, various herbs, and zoth) for communing with the Great Old Ones.  So, they partook and I had everyone roll to see how many balls they were tripping.  Thurberus got the highest... literally, and began speaking to Vertoothgura'ath.

The Great Old One of the frozen caves was limited in that his sphere of influence was wholly comprised of mint-chocolate ice cream.  Nevertheless, he told Thurberus to charge the box with a blood sacrifice.  They also asked Vertoothgura'ath if he knew who The Oracle was, and the Old One answered yes... he was this pocket-universe's creator.  Nothing else of interest was discovered as they came back down to this plane of reality.

Using the dead cultist's heart to attune the magic box, the PCs convinced the cultists to let them utilize the box first and then hand it back to them before they escaped from these frozen ice cream caves.  They agreed, and sent with the PCs their 3rd best worshiper, Vert.

Later, they came upon a high-tech facility known as The Scoop, this was a Dha'arma Initiative station where a couple dozen humans were trying to find their own way of leaving this pocket-universe.  They came up with a giant ice cream scoop, but the mint-chocolate walls were so frozen that it needed to be heated up in order to be effective.  

Killing the guards to gain entry and traipsing around the facility, the party eventually got themselves captured.  There was one guy already in the holding cell, a janitor.  The PCs tried the box out on him as I pulled out a scrap of paper from the suggestion skull.  A vista of cobalt blue opened as the stars turned to jello.  That's what the unfortunate wretch saw just before his mind broke and was reduced to a catatonic state on the floor.  

After seeing this and being promised a way of super-heating their ice cream scoop, the dha'arma folks let the PCs go.  They continued on, finding their way to a mint-chocolate dragon... hey, if you're going to commit, then commit.  

Moving on, the PCs went into a foggy dragon's cave.  Of course, this was a mint-chocolate dragon who's breath weapon was quick-freezing chocolate syrup.  The PCs wisely decided to offer the dragon several baubles rather than attempt to slay him.  Bandersnatch unburdened himself of several items he'd been carrying around since the first few sessions, such as the origami unicorn.

Having pleased the dragon, they made their way past him to a cave containing a gigantic freezer vent.  This is where the ice-cold air was coming from, keeping the ice cream rock hard.  Seeing a swirling fan blade behind the grille, they entered the vent, blasted a bunch of circuitry (that caused the freezing cold air to seize-up and stop functioning), and passed through the stopped fan into a swirling magical portal.

The portal took the PCs back to The Oracle where the super-computer was pleased with their exploration.  He asked what they thought, and got some good feedback.  In return, The Oracle agreed to offer them a small gift of whatever they wanted, plus answer questions.  Without wasting a second, Chip (who had started to melt ever since they entered this beast's interior) hurriedly asked The Oracle for something to keep him from melting.  Almost like the Wizard of Oz, the super-computer opened up a panel and out popped, not a fake heart for the tin-man, but... a tiny pale-blue cube that radiated immense cold.  Chip swallowed it and thanked The Oracle for his generosity.

"Well played," the PCs said as they asked about the ultra-telluric glyphs.  The Great Mainframe gave them a way of attuning these special glyphs (of which the PCs had 3), telling them magic words and ingredients needed to brew a potion that must be drank during the ritual.  And I believe the PCs also asked if he knew where the Old One they released and had been tracking might be.  He's still in Kha'alestine.

There was still time on the clock, but this was a better stopping-point than most.  So, we ended it there.  Next stop would be Kha'alestine.

GMing new adventures is a bit of a high-wire act.  If you think of all the writers, prep, rehearsals, advisors, notes, re-writes, takes, and edits it requires to get a TV show or movie to the audience, it's a lot, and GMs don't get any of that.  While running tried and true scenarios, field-tested over and over again,  provides the most polish, tight pacing, and cover for all manner of eventualities, there's something about doing it live that's inherently appealing.  

All I ask is that for you GMs at home, please have a net to catch you if you fall.

That's it, hoss.  Our next session should be Saturday, October 25th.  Thanks for reading!

VS

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