"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.16

 

It's not uncommon for me to claim a session of Cha'alt was particularly wild, unhinged, after dark, or surreal.  But this one was definitely batshit crazy.  Strap in, hoss!

If I was to title the session, I'd go with "Side Quest to Save the Universe," "The Day Steve Rolled Five 20s in a Single Session," or "Cha'alt Book Saturation!"

Let me explain about that last one.  Lately, we've been having some bad luck with our septic system.  Thankfully, no Cha'alt books were destroyed, but all of them had to be moved out of the unfinished area of our basement.  The only logical place to put them was in my game room, which I did.  So many books, both in boxes and loose, stacked on top of each other, Cha'alt, Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise, and Cha'alt: Chartreuse Shadows.  All those exposed books must give off some kind of gonzo radiation because our session was definitely... influenced by something... unnatural. 

Ok, let's get started.  Only 3 out of the 4 core players, Bishop Crane was absent.  That means Strum the human sorcerer, Ug the lizardtaur warrior, and Mista Firestorm a teenage human thief stowing away in the frame of an assassin droid.

Before the recap, I had everyone come up with a celebrity cameo rather than gameable suggestion for the Black Skull of Secrets.  Since there was only 3 PCs, I planned on introducing all 3 celebrity cameos that session.  This is an idea I came up with for Primordial Chaos, which I was flipping through while prepping this session.

Picking up where we left off, a door appeared in space - the door was outlined with a glowing purple effulgence, lighting the adornment of spidery bas-relief, creating deep shadows where the viewer got the sense of something inside, watching those standing before the door.  The center of the purple door showed an arachnid-glyph that also glowed purple.  

Inside was a partial purple labyrinth, the missing sections of floor, hallway sides, and ceiling were a black void of nothingness, save for a dimly lit purple area in the far-off distance.  After that, the PCs dealt with a succession of hallways and doors which led to either a ton of purple spiders pouring out, a giant spider-claw trying to kill them, a "room" filled with purple webbing that in the distance contained a gleaming purple jewel.  Ug unsheathed Orin and began cutting a swath until he reached a gem on the end of a butt-plug.  Trying to sever the jewel from the plug, Orin informed his master that the butt-plug was magic, and he could not cut through it.

Taking it for the sorcerer to properly identify (whoever has attuned the magic item, a woman "wearing" the butt-plug falls madly in love with him), they went through the last door which opened into a massive purple chamber containing a furry spider arm the size of a semi-truck.  Shortly thereafter, a clockwork gnome wearing purple robes shushed them, saying "Do not raise your voice, lest you arouse A'araknar-Thule," while pointing to the massive spider-member. "That's no arm."  The clockwork gnome led the adventurers to a pit full of milky eyes - white orbs gazing blindly at anything coming close to the edge.  "The way out is through there."

Ug kicked the gnome into the eyes, saw him sink and vanish, then jumped in himself.  Mista Firestorm went next.  Strum looked for an alternative, but realized the original door was locked, and decided to jump down into the eyes, as well. 

Soon enough, they were all reunited in a burgundy-mauve system of tunnels and caves where the purple secret of A'araknar-Thule resides.  As the clockwork gnome explained, this is N'yoto, the place where His priests contemplate realities devoured.  The priests themselves act as an energy source for the cosmic spider.  If all are killed, A'araknar-Thule becomes insubstantial, like a shadow.

Before encountering the first group of priests, the PCs came across Chevy Chase hovering on a silver saucer, wide-eyed and sleep deprived from hanging 1,000 Christmas lights in the huge cavern just down the way.  It was a hybrid of Christmas Vacation and Pierce Hawthorn from Community who would routinely follow them around, unseen, shouting "Gay!" every time there was an occurrence like shoving the butt-plug up a monster or priest's bottom.

The priests in this huge cave were watching interdimensional cable shows from worlds the cosmic spider had already devoured.  Before long, a sea-glass-hued monstrosity with gelatinous flesh and tentacles hovered nearby.  The PCs made room for the creature to eat the spider-priests first, and so it did.  But then there was another lavender horror, and they both were attacking - until Strum dominated one of them, telling it to fight the other.

Eventually, both were subdued, but Mista Firestorm wanted to try some stuff out on the dominated monstrosity before the spell wore off.  Any surviving priests were dispatched.  The PCs did save one just in case they needed a survivor.

At one point, Ug's player rolled three 1s in a row, and the hand holding a fish appeared from out of nowhere, slapping him across the face.  Ug also had a little talk with Orin, or rather, Orin had a little talk with Ug.  "The only time you bring me out is to hack shit, we never just talk or hang-out, anymore."  To smooth thing over, Ug laid some of the porn magazines on the flat of Orin's blade and were immediately absorbed into the sword's own pocket dimension, which I'm calling blade-space because it sounds fucking cool.

There were priests who tried to use math to figure out if A'araknar-Thule could eat an infinite amount of dimensions if he continued on forever.  Other priests were licking purple tentacles coming down from the ceiling, as the slime was hallucinogenic.  One of the final groups were writing poetry commemorating reality lost... "Reality lost, flippity frost, the spider's run down the chair leg.  Mingling ma'ast, reality lost; watching the spider-jack isn't gay."  To which, Pierce shouted "Gay!" from a safe distance.  If you can't imagine what I'm talking about, here you go.

Not too long into their N'yoto foray, a couple of drug dealers named Walter White and Jesse appeared, trading the fart-squid jetpack for an entire pound of blue persuasion crystal-meth.  

Realizing the sorcerer had to use blood or zoth (zero) to fuel his spells, the mass casualties of the cosmic spider priests allowed him to wish for advanced healing, a charged-up golf cart with monster truck wheels, and a barrage of fireballs that immolated stragglers as the PCs drove by the various caves.  

Before getting to the end-boss of N'yoto, the PCs decided to go through the few caves that got passed-over in the beginning, as the adventurers were worried about surviving priests keeping A'araknar-Thule alive and kicking.  It was the perfect time to use my Ya'ada Ya'ada Ya'ada game mechanic, as we didn't want to take time out to go over backtracking and blasting fools with ranged weapons they couldn't hope to evade.

As per the rule, each player came up with a detail (we forgot about the slap-bass, FYI)... Ug had a pile of heads stacked up on Orin as the lizardtaur played hide and seek and slaughter.  Strum used the dead priests to continue fueling spells.  Mista Firestorm had previously used juice boxes up enemy wa'azoos, but now that he had the magic butt-plug, he pursued that... liberally.  

One of the priests, probably the lone survivor the PCs fed crystal-meth to, told the adventurers about a fracture or fragmentation in time and space, a purple crack in reality.  If they jump into it with a specific place and time in mind, that's where they will appear.  

But first, they had to destroy the pond of gross goo where elongated spider parts grew out, acting like a barrier.  This is where Ug's player rolled his 5th and final natural-20 of the day (he normally rolls 1s, 3s, 4s, etc.).  Mista Firestorm using his newly acquired feat to give the enemy Disadvantage when attacking Strum.  Since I first rolled a crit, having to roll again saved him a potentially life-threatening amount of damage.  A ton of firepower dealt to the spider sludge eventually killed it.  

Before they could jump back to where they were supposed to be, the tiny insect Strum had swallowed all the way back at sorcerer-king Jethryk's palace gave him indigestion.  The stomach cramps soon turned into a little critter ripping out of the sorcerer's abdomen, causing a fair bit of damage as he fainted.  Luckily, Strum was dreaming about the caves beneath that temple of absent divinity, overriding Ug's contemplation of Cha'alt, sweet Cha'alt.

Mista Firestorm had other plans, allowing Beigeizona to reappear next session.  The PCs jumped into the purple crack, arriving back in the Moshtobah caves as if they'd never left.  

I got to try out my recently created dice-tray, and thought it would be amusing to use dice that looked EXACTLY like the tray's flooring.  It was as if the dice seeped into the gonzo-jam color and were absorbed.

Next game won't be until Saturday, October 3rd as I'll be on vacation in-between.  While there weren't many big events happening, a lot of social interaction type roleplaying transpired.  I hadn't expected to make this a bottle episode where the PCs save the universe from A'araknar-Thule, but didn't want to end our Dark Sun stint without Bishop Crane.  As the party's sole priest, potentially resurrecting a Great Old One wouldn't be the same without him.

Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing, hoss!

VS

p.s. Want some hardcover Cha'alt?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  And in even BIGGER news, you can now buy an all-access weekend badge for next June's VENGER CON VI: Belief is Reality convention in Madison, WI right over here.

"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.15

 

Turns out, the two-part foray into Dark Sun has become a three-parter, at least.

We had 3 players - Strum, Bishop Crane, and Ug.  Before I forget, here is another awesome review of Pulp-Drenched Cities of Cha'alt. "Stream of consciousness on acid," indeed, hoss. 

As the tangerine-hued sky darkned to a burnt-orange, the PCs saw a number of ancient and massive pillars sticking out of the sand.  Each was 30-feet from another of its kind, and there were dozens of them, all over the desert.  They made for good campsites, at least that's what the one-eyed whore Nyla said as the adventurers' approached on their giant lizard.

Two groups were camped upon arriving, so the PCs decided to camp in-between.  Setting up a watch system, Ug soon smelled sand-fish cooking at the campsite towards the east.  Before long, Ug and pucha'ata followed their nose, and asked to be admitted into the neighboring camp so they could eat something.  The supplies they had were zoth, zoth-zero, crayons, weapons, and drugs - no food.

As Ug ate and talked with these Athas elves, reciprocating their hospitality by offering his new friends crayons to eat.  The waxy taste was, apparently, the feature, not a bug.

Meanwhile, the other two were sleeping soundly when a quiet rumbling soon turned into vibrational tremors.  At that point, Strum woke up, thinking a sandworm or something similar might be stirring nearby.  Then, he saw movement around the closest pillar to their camp.  He woke Crane up and the two converged on the humanoid who immediately gave himself up, saying that he was a mul (half-dwarf and half-man) slave who would love the chance to serve such prominent and wealthy masters as themselves.  

They were strangers in a strange land and saw the value in taking this mul with them.  I blanked on a name for this half-dwarven slave who stood before them, short, stocky, bald, and muscular.  So, I decided that it's customary on Athas for a new master to name or rename his recently acquired slave.  Mul became Donkey, which soon became Don Quixote or just Don.

Since the party had lost their templar tag-along last session, Don would steer them round the cultural curves, so to speak.  Eventually, they all ended up at the camp with sand-fish (Strum put Ug's crayon sharing to shame by letting all 7 elves have a go with his one-eyed whore), seeing the electrical storm flash lightning - fuchsia and chartreuse lightning, which is rare in these parts... perhaps a sign?

Turns out, these elves were also going to the temple of absent divinity.  They had a prophetic scroll and demonic cube, both with infernal-glyphs, that foretold a great change in the balance of power on Athas.  Why not travel together, the PCs thought, especially since they could probably use the scroll and/or demon box at some point.  

So, Don moved all their stuff to the new camp, and they slept until morning, then continued their journey to the temple.  About halfway there, the PCs' giant lizard stepped on something that didn't sound like the  familiar sound of reptile-paws on sand.  Disembarking to check it out, they found a metal hatch in the sand.  At first thinking it was a starship of some kind, they opened it and jumped down into a cave (with the help of dried intestines, serving as rope). 

It was a large, irregularly shaped oval cavern that contained a small tunnel the PCs would have to crawl through, a whole bunch of lightless and lifeless crystals embedded in the cave wall, and a three-sided golden monolith or obelisk towards the center with an eye formed into each side of its golden exterior.  

Ug tried to move the gold obelisk but couldn't.  Eventually, it spoke to him telepathically, telling him that it was too weak to regulate the doorways of time and space - the soul energy of the crystals required the death of the void-black succumbing (or Great Old One as the PCs know it on Cha'alt) to revitalize them.  

Their current mission was to awaken Keelta'anpa'adraj from his slumber, not to help the sorcerer-king, nor assassinate this magnificent creature (as Bishop Crane calls the Old Ones).  But if Keelta'anpa'adraj ended up dying inadvertently, knowing the crystals would be recharged was good knowledge to have.

Before leaving this cave, Crane summoned a fruitie to travel down the small tunnel and report back what he saw - man-made horrors beyond comprehension... several humans were giving insect-folk piggy-back rides.  Hearing that the tunnel widened as it went, and wondering if there was something valuable or noteworthy down that way, Crane and Ug went in to see for themselves.  Sure enough, the thri-kreen rape-gangs were doing their dirty work.  And this is what was heard.  Trying to back out quietly, they were spotted, but Ug used his fire stick and Crane his blaster, taking 4 of the 12 out, which made the praying-mantis folk back off so the two could make an expeditious retreat.  

Once reunited, they eventually made their way up to the surface, making a mental note of where this hatch was so they could find it again, if need be.  

Continuing on with the Athas elves riding a giant insect behind them, they eventually came to the temple.  Deciding to sleep just outside as it was nightfall again, the early morning was disturbed by a living, floating, platform with tendril-roots hanging down as it was driven by the 3 psions standing on top of it.  

Eventually, they landed, the psionic-warriors jumped off and faced down the PCs.  One was fire, another ice, and the last storm - each having a corresponding opal embedded in their forehead.  Several rounds and saving throws later, the PCs were damaged but not dead, nor encased in ice.  Each opal was removed upon the psion deaths.  

Strum took the fire opal, keeping it for later (he hadn't decided where to place it yet), Crane took ice, attaching it to Kaltha'alax which would give him an additional 1d6 cold damage and on a critcal-hit, would encase his opponent in ice (save to avoid).  That left the storm opal for Ug who embedded it into his own forehead successfully (we rolled to make sure).  Once per day, he can blast an opponent with a 6d6 lightning storm (save for half damage).  If he wants to keep using it, it costs him a d6 in damage with an additional d6 every time he uses it until the next day when it resets.  So, if he used it 3 times in one day, the first one is free, the second would be 1d6 damage, and the third would be 2d6 damage to himself.

The temple was half-buried in the desert, an amber basilica on top and the lower exterior of the temple was fashioned out of dried lizard skin.  Inside, the PCs found the place was in disarray... smashed altar, tentacled pillars full of cracks with big chunks taken out, braziers that hadn't seen any amber-lotus in weeks, and a spiral staircase going down in the center.  Looking down, the PCs noticed a gigantic boulder preventing anyone from going up or down.

A lonesome priest named Maddox was the keeper of the temple, waiting until the Old Gods returned, but after a century or more, even he didn't really believe the Gods would come back.  Maddox had been maimed (his left-side shoulder and arm were basically useless and he walked with a limp) during a battle that took place just a few years ago when templars had ransacked his temple and crippled him due to criticism of sorcerer-king Jethryk's frequent attacks on neighboring city-states.  

He called the network of tunnels and caves below the temple the Moshtobah caves (moshtobah meaning unattainable riches from below), claiming there were supposed rumors of a godlike entity slumbering deep under the absent divinity.

In exchange for a few minutes with Strum's one-eyed whore, Maddox promised the adventurers something that was left behind in the holiest of holies for cataclysmic emergencies.  The PCs agreed as Maddox took the prostitute into the confessional for a good time after showing Ug the cabinet doors that opened into a hole in the rock.  Not feeling very optimistic, Ug put his hand into the hole, felt something, and withdrew a thermal detonator.  Upon activating it and throwing it down the stairway, the boulder smashed into several pieces, allowing them to explore what was beneath the temple... hopefully finding the sleeper.  

I forgot until just now the phrase that everyone uses in Dark Sun (according to me)... "May the sleeper never awaken."  Next session I'll have to spam it to bits & pieces!!!

I was able to utilize the new map that I'd been working on, slowly, for a couple months because of Kickstarter rewards which always takes up a ton of my free time.  They started at the center and worked their way outward, hearing a woman humming or singing to herself as she tidied up her cave.  

She was alone, not having access to the temple above, but occasionally mixing with the other natives down here.  She mentioned a wild story, her purpose, to check on the interdimensional webbing of the cosmic spider, A'araknar-Thule, making sure he didn't come back and begin eating the reality of their world.  

After telling her about the lonely priest above, she left to check the temple out, warning the adventurers not to look in her special box in the corner of her cave.  Of course, as soon as she left, that's exactly what the PCs did.  They found a big box of porn - battery-operated devices, laser-disc 8-track cassette tapes of classics like "Sand Gets Literally Everywhere," "That Lizard in Loungewear is my Pimp," and "Ex Harem-Girls of the Insatiable Sorcerer-Kings," specialty magazines (such as Hot Scales Monthly and Spicy Iguana), lube, ball-gags, dildos, her hand-written sex journal, the works.  

She had access to the interdimensional strands via a scroll that would open a portal.  Being handed the scroll and told they were now in charge of that particular mission, until she came back (which might be never), they spilled a couple drops of blood and read from the scroll.  A portal appeared.

The PCs peered into it, saw the webbing that could definitely have been made by a gigantic cosmic spider, were careful not to mess with it too much on the off-chance that vibrations would actually call A'araknar-Thule to them, cut a "crossbeam" strand, and then Ug threw in one of the pink sexual devices from her box, hoping it would stick to the web (and it did), finally using the purple labyrinth glyph inside the portal just to see what would happen...

At that point we were running out of time, and so I paused the game so I could think through the potential ramifications of opening a portal to the purple labyrinth within another interdimensional space containing an alleged spider of cosmic size and power.

Notable quotes from the session...

• "Dark Sun: the land of sexual frustration"
• "The love of a thermal detonator is equal to the love of a one-eyed whore."
• "One man's cataclysmic emergency is another man's Tuesday."

Our next game is scheduled for Saturday, September 12th.  That's going to be a session not to miss as it's the probably the last of Dark Sun (for awhile, at least), and I won't be available for the following two Saturdays as I'll be on vacation.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want some hardcover Cha'alt?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  And in even BIGGER news, you can now buy an all-access weekend badge for next June's VENGER CON VI: Belief is Reality convention in Madison, WI right over here.

"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.13

 

First, you've probably heard that WotC is bringing Dark Sun back out of retirement - even when many old-school experts believed that would never happen.  

While I don't intend to give any money to corporations that hate me (and other normal gamers), it's aesthetically the most inviting move D&D could have made.  Not at all gay-woke-commie fodder which 5.5 has become known for.  Whenever folks mention new Dark Sun on social media, I hope you'll help me in mentioning Cha'alt, as Dark Sun helped inspire my campaign setting.

I also want our next session to be a Dark Sun / Cha'alt crossover that celebrates the dying world of Athas!  If anyone wants to comment their suggestions, I'm all tentacles.  FYI, I've already got Thri-kreen rape-gangs written down. 

Normally, we wouldn't have gamed yesterday (as we're on an every-other-week schedule), but the wife and one of our kids is on vacation.  Since I'm not a teenage boy in a John Hughes movie, I decided to GM our Cha'alt campaign rather than throw a raging kegger.

This session definitely felt more subdued, which on the one tentacle, makes me long for the truly fucked-up craziness that Cha'alt can bring.  But given enough perspective, the realist in me knows that they can't all be bat-shit insane fever dreams.  

Our 13th session in the 4th year of this campaign was a sort of mid-campaign reset, just coming off the big finale the last time we were all together (minus Strum).  The stage was reset, exposition was doled-out, and travel plans arranged by a helpful NPC, the Royal Vizier of A'agrybah.

Weeks passed as the adventurers rested, recovered, and trained for whatever lay ahead.  I had each PC come up with at least one thing they've been working on, and if that thing comes up in the next few sessions, they'll get Advantage on it.

Strum was managing his battle with addiction - the party's sorcerer had gone down the z-hole, as in zoth (chartreuse gold, Cha'altian tea, or the effulgent ichor).  And that's also where he was during his absence - wrestling with personal demons and in treatment.  His player also asked me to come up with something to "game mechanic" his zoth addiction, so I'm going to put this right here...

Roll on the following random table when a zoth addict uses this uncontrollable substance...

1. He goes into a zoth-induced coma and will awaken in 1d30 hours.
2. His addiction has reached a fevered pitch; he must use zoth again within 90 minutes or fly into zoth-rage where magic is pain and everyone shall be made to suffer.
3. The sorcerer's magic items become... 1) unattuned, and must be reattuned at a rate of one per hour; 2) one item must make a saving throw with the same chances as the sorcerer himself, and if that save fails, the item self-destructs; 3) 1d3 powers are taken away from his collective magic items; or 4) one magic item gains a strange new power.
4. Nothing happens
5. The sorcerer has wild mood swings ranging from depression to mania to stoicism to obsession with something arcane or cheese (yes, in that order).
6. He must make a saving throw; if he fails, the sorcerer has zoth poisoning (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, body aches, etc.) lasting 2d4 hours.  But if successful, the sorcerer's spells are super-charged for the next 20 minutes, followed by a 40-minute crash where he can't cast anything at all.  
7. The Great Old Ones speak directly into the sorcerer's mind - telling him to drop all prior quests that do not actively pursue resurrecting a slumbering Dark God.
8. ???

Bishop Crane is in the process of building the church and another temple for the righteous redeemers, believing that the Old Ones have always been the Lords of Light.  He's also keeping tabs on Vromka'ad's tower (which, for a very short period of time used to be their tower).

He discovered that the Federation have phase-shifted the tower slightly out of this reality, enough so that no one can go in or out.

Ug spent the majority of his time using the metal titan (so far unnamed) as a sort of Chat GPT, asking it questions in order to learn more about the world, while not fully realizing that it just tells him what he wants to hear and confirms any and all biases the lizardtaur warrior already had.  

From our last half-session, Tinker has sort of evolved into Beigeizona, a valley-girl pixie-fairy who's looking for the missing pages and/or scrolls of a shadow assassin's guild book of dark magic that only the last survivor of the tontine gets to keep.  How the completed or even separated tome knows what to do and where to go when someone in the tontine dies is anyone's guess.  It's possible there's a "magical discord" handling all the behind the scenes stuff.  And perhaps Beigeizona is tinkering with such a system.

If the Tinker / Beigeirona player wants to create a new PC for the Cha'alt / Dark Sun crossover session, maybe he can play a mul, half-giant, thri-kreen, or cannibal halfling?  ;)

Speaking of behind the scenes, so the whole tontine thing came about in that previous half-session where I had the two new PCs (Beigeizona and the Golden Girls type character that temporarily replaced Ug) roll on the backgrounds table in my old How To Game Master Like A Fucking Boss, and she got the shadowy assassin book prize for being the last to die in the tontine - the tontine being a major plot-point in this old movie (The Wrong Box) that I watched with my Dad a couple times over the years.  It was one of his favorites, and watching movies and tv shows together is a fond memory (everything from Doctor Who - Tom Baker was really the only Doctor as far as he was concerned - and the original House of Cards to Blake's 7).

So, to anyone who thinks my Living Story approach to running the game isn't full or random weirdness that takes the game into unexpected quarters, yeah... random tables rule.  I use them, and I run with them, completely changing the nature of the campaign, from one session to another.  That's why it's called the Living Story - it's alive and moving all the time, like a reflecting serpent.

On the downside, I totally forgot to have the players determine what was different about this Cha'alt prime dimension, than where they were in the half-session.  Next time!

While heroes who helped save Princess Lyssa (formerly known as the bastard princess), they're still considered newcomers to the royal court and even have a direct supervisor in the palace named Damask.  As soon as they reported to him, he called them dumbasses and asked if they'd filled out their TPS reports yet, cleaned the palace gutters, and defenestrated the black centipedes.  

Bishop Crane stormed out saying that he saved the princess and had better things to do than wash the worm shit off the winery floor.  Ha!  While working on his own projects, one of his fruitie servants came to him with news - that fruitie has a friend within the CRD (colony resources department).  He has information about the gigantic statue head of Da'agoth the dreaming god that the Federation found while scanning the desert belonging to the sand-swallowed Kingdom of Ira'ad.  In exchange for finding and transporting the statue head all the way from Ira'ad to A'agrybah, the Federation asked for limited zoth rights, but then at the last moment switched their zoth rights to rare Cha'alt minerals which is much less profitable and requires big excavation machines for mineral extraction.  

Speaking of Princess Lyssa, they were asked to visit her before leaving the palace.  She is swollen with child, and made the adventurers beaded bracelets and her very own home-made double-filtered worm wine that tasted of strawberry, cactus-pear, and tentacle.  Oh, because of Strum's zoth addiction, he's become even more devoted to the Old Ones and wants to help Crane with his new church.  Strum is also very protective of the tentacled litter that Lyssa has in her belly.  She also told them a dream she had last night about a glowing-tangerine dust that mutated and corrupted anything and everything it came into contact with.

Oh yeah, one last thing - the party's priest has that infernal glyph from the artifact Pa'azuk.  It told hm the Archduke of the Black Flame declared an infernal jiha'ad on Bishop Crane and dispatched a Hell-worm to destroy the priest and retrieve his demonic magic items.

Upon leaving the palace and walking down the street towards the Z-Hole, a place for blatant zoth abusers and sorcerers who believe they have it under control.  They saw dozens of protestors shouting and holding signs with empathy for the demons, kha'alestinians, and even the Federation.  A few of them believe Princess Lyssa and her unborn spawn should be put to death.

Ug went to tongue-slap a few of them, and mostly missed.  Meanwhile, Strum fireballed the lot of them, immolating every protestor there, and singing the lizardtaur for being so close to the rabble-rousing throng.

By the time they reached the nearest cantina, the Royal Vizier spoke to them on their wrist-communicator.  The Federation has moved their biggest sand-mining burrower to the perimeter of sand-swallowed Ira'ad.  It must be a big mineral deposit, but the vizier wants the PCs to spy on them and find out all they can, as something is definitely up.  The vizier booked passage on the Orient Express, a sand-piercer class high-speed hover-train that crisscrosses the S'kbah desert.  With the Orient Express, the trip would only take 6 or 7 hours; that would be approximately 22 or 23 hours by reptilian riding-spider.

The vizier also granted the adventurers diplomatic immunity.  Not quite sure what that means in this context, they were pleased, as surely their newfound status would be thoroughly abused in the name of bureaucratic authority.

Their train was leaving in a couple hours, so they wandered over to the golden city gates of A'agrybah.  Overhearing a man cry out that his money pouch was stolen by a demon, the PCs went after him.  The demon ducked into a mostly empty Federation warehouse and saw the demon waiting for them.  He was standing in a circle drawn with infernal-glyphs of blood. 

The pixie-fairy went in through a side window first, in order to get a sneak-attack in.  He did minimal damage, which was actually good because the circle turned attackers' damage back on them.  So, Beigeirona took 4 points of damage.  Strum then cast dispel magic which ended the demon's chicanery.  It wasn't long before the rest of the party destroyed him.

Additionally, all but Ug were interested in copying that infernal glyph for their own use at a later point.

Hopping on the Orient Express, the PCs enjoyed their luxury suite on the train as it soon went into a mild sandstorm.  Then, I took out 3 player suggestions from the Black Skull of Secrets - a blinding flash of fuchsia light, a 10-foot around steel spike fell from the heavens right before the hover-train and proceeded to dig its way through the desert floor, and a whole bunch of blue ewoks with little javelins demanded tribute before the hover-train was allowed to continue.  

Ug negotiated a trade, giving them a Federation soldier who he convinced the blue ewoks was the conductor, and knew the various trade routes.  The fuchsia flash of light was connected to a nearby psychic presence below ground - inside the hole recently dug by that giant steel spike that kept getting smaller the farther down it went.

Strum and Biegeirona were compelled to go down and investigate, as their mind was subtly dominated by a floating psionic orange.  

The orange was contained within a magic holding-field of teal-hued energy.  A total of 7 large floating amoeba, one of them being its blood-red leader, were contained within this stone floored temple with altar and tentacled columns.  

Braziers (note to self - create a Cha'alt X-Card for when someone says brazier so that players can play the Brazzers card and turn the scene into some kind of weird porn thing) pouring indigo and violet vapor into the air.  

Whereas the demon from earlier was dispatched relatively quickly, these things took awhile to destroy, paralyzing both Strum and Beigeirona (irony or fate... you decide).  

The transparent blooded creatures did not count as Lovecraftian abominations, even though they technically did had tentacles.  When only two remained, they double-penetrated the orange which Beigeirona had freed with his own dispel magic spell (in their minds, they could hear the floating psychic orange say that he wanted to take over Cha'alt himself, so probably not a good guy), creating an orange-hued ameoba that was slaughtered in a tangerine mist, along with the remaining enemies. 

Searching the entire temple, Strum found a strange and magical deck of playing cards adorned with women in various stages of undress.  The others gawked at a huge, eldritch mural on a temple wall (more about that next time, I'm sure).  Taking the deck of cards, they decided to get back onto the train (being held for them by the metal titan) instead of exploring the subterranean tunnels leading out of the temple.

After several hours of rest, healing from their wounds, a shadow assassin crept into Beigeirona's sleeping quarters, and stabbed her.  She then counter-struck, killing the creep.  It was a member of the tontine, and the party's pixie-fairy took his encrypted scroll of shadow magic, which would take time to fully decipher and attune. 

Finally, they arrived and hopped-on the food truck / tour bus belonging to Egg Chen of Qada'ath Chinatown.  He told them a few wild stories of the place, relayed a rumor of an old Federation facility deep underground that created and still housed (even though the facility was destroyed) nuclear dust.  

Realizing that might be what the Federation were after, they asked Egg Chen, after paying for some tasty eggrolls, to let them off near the mining machine, Federation basecamp, and rocky tunnel sloping down into the sand-swallowed Kingdom of Ira'ad.

That's where we ended the session.  Again, not a ton happened, and nothing that off-the-rails shocking or gratuitously weird, but I think it was a solid start to the second half of this season's adventures.

Saturday, August 15th should be our next game.  I'm looking forward to it!  Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want some hardcover Cha'alt?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  I'll do a big announcement when I have all the promotional images, but I'm excited to announce that VENGER CON VI: Belief is Reality will be happening next year (June 25th - 27th) in Madison, WI. 

"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.12

 

While we didn't have all 5 players for the mid-season finale at this point in our 4-year Cha'alt campaign, we had almost that many.  If you are a math major, then your assumption is probably correct... we had 4 players (but not who you might have assumed).

Missing the human sorcerer Strum due to a family vacation, we had human priest Bishop Crane, The Neza'akul human thief, Ug the lizardtaur warrior, and Tinker the pixie-fairy thief / sorcerer.

After some leveling - oh, that reminds me - we got to try out the recent game mechanic I blogged about not too long ago.  Neza'akul had missed the last 3 sessions, I believe, so he was ripe for telling us what he'd been up to during that intervening time...

Scavenging through the big ship blockade; monologuing on the rocks, threating all who would oppose him into the fuchsia heavens, and hiring cantina prostitutes to act as his "henchmen," moving heavy rocks around and shitting into paper bags that would eventually be set on fire and thrown at enemies.  As was expected, one of his suggestions / contributions, that last one, got some creative juices flowing and we riffed on that idea, expanding it.  

So, that was definitely a success.  I proposed that Strum opened a portal for some unknown reason (perhaps, he can come up with the why, when he returns), walked into it... a few seconds later, Neza'akul walked back out, rejoining the party after he bullied a wizard into creating a portal from wherever he had been.

Neza'akul also picked up a new feat as he went from level two-and-a-half to four.  Browsing Cha'alt Ascended, he eventually chose being able to retrieve any non-magical thing from his bag, once per day.  I also reminded the table that Divine Favor can also be spent to get an additional go at a limited ability - just like that once a day pulling something useful from your pack.

Exploring, talking, and preparing to fully investigate this new system of caves and tunnels beneath and only a quarter-mile away from the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice, they eventually headed out.  Ug realized this would be the perfect place for a bed & breakfast, and so marked an X on the stone wall with his magical sword Orin.  Neza'akul took the lead, scouting around after picking up some pocket-sand for later use.

The human thief found a young woman using a silvery wand or baton with buttons on the side who was sucking all the energy from glowing crystals in the wall.  It appeared as though she was possessed.  After Ug directly confronted her as an official crystal inspector, she replied with a deep, male, and alien voice that he was the watcher of the pylon (yes, this idea was ripped right out of the 70s show Land of the Lost), and was gathering enough power to break free of his pylon prison.

The watcher also wanted to "see" Ug's magic sword after she had zapped the magical sheen from the lizardtaur's gourd.  Orin told his wielder absolutely not - "Don't unsheathe me until that crazy bitch is gone." 

Tinker cast sleep on her and then they tried putting her into the purple labyrinth (which broke the psychic connection), and when Neza'akul picked up the wand to fiddle with it, eventually putting all the crystal energy back where it originally came from, he was also possessed by the watcher.  So, they tried putting him and soon the wand in the purple labyrinth, as well.  That place cut off the connection, so they stashed the high-tech wand behind some purple drywall they smashed a hole through, and made their way to the nearby pylon.

On the way, I decided that this rather large cave was the perfect place to pick-out 3 suggestions from the Black Skull of Secrets!!!  While it's not the easiest thing in the world to shoehorn disparate ideas into an existing scenario, that's what improv is all about.  

So, the PCs saw a whole bunch of freezing mist on the ground, not realizing it was covering a gigantic in-ground bowl of cereal with strawberry milk [gag reflex], and various half-frozen fruities bobbing up and down along with soggy pillows of shredded wheat.  As the PCs were swimming, just trying to stay afloat, an equally giant hand came down, picked up Tinker and Neza'akul, and brought them into a mass of undulating tentacles that may or may not have been surrounding a gaping maw, ready to swallow them.  Tinker told whoever was about to eat them that he was friends with Iggy Azailia (meaning Igg-Yig Yatha'ak) and helped him out of a jam awhile back.  

This Great Old One paused his breakfast to psionically check-in with Igg-Yig Yatha'ak to make sure this pixie-fairy was telling the truth.  Sure enough, he was, and this Ancient One let them go, so they could swim to shore or fly out of the cereal bowl to safety.  Also, the PCs were cloned during this whole thing, and there's now a strawberry-milk set of PCs running around... perhaps in the strawberry-milk dimension?

Further down the tunnel, they saw the gold pylon.  Throwing ideas around like just leaving it, tipping the pylon into the strawberry milk (I must confess, I really liked the sound of that), or laying it face-down so no one could access the door, they eventually went with having the girl open the pylon door, throwing a thermal detonator, retrieved from Neza'athul's pack, and quickly closing it back up.  Dimensional ripples expanded the pylon's exterior for a second as black smoke soon poured out of the door cracks.  Opening it back up, they found the matrix table destroyed and glowing crystals scattered on the black floor.

Bishop Crane had been trying to feel if the watcher of the pylon was an infernal force.  It was not, but he did sense a large demonic presence elsewhere in this system of caves.  Shortly, the PCs' scout discovered a massive cavern containing a 100-demon army.  A shadow-demon general named K'xoksan was giving useful exposition, such as they were going to sacrifice the King of A'agrybah who was right there, hog-tied on top of a stone altar, and then this army of demons would reunite with Channa (who had recently married the King and was now eligible to perform her own Ascension ritual at the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice).

The party hatched a plan.  Crane was invisible to demons and had that scepter that could teleport a humanoid 30-feet.  Tinker addressed the demons after turning the shadow-demon general into a turkey, and then lassoing it, while dragging it back through the tunnel the PCs had just traversed.  The demons followed, many of them falling into the cereal bowl.  Meanwhile, the other PCs snuck out along with Crane and the King, as the priest also used the scepter to create a glyph of demon-warding to keep them at bay.

Unfortunately, this blocked the PCs from the secondary exit the demons were going to use to go back up to the surface.  But there were a few caves left to explore at the back-end of the system, so they continued to explore.  Suddenly, they heard the screech of a bald eagle as it swooped down, grabbed the turkey (dropping the infernal opal that K'xoksan had), and soared away... because America!  

Minutes later, they heard a feeble voice asking for help, and went to see what was the matter.  They found Karl, complete with tie-dyed shirt and wonky eye, laying on the cave floor, dying.  

"Dudes, you probably don't recognize me, but I'm your friend from another dimension... a parallel universe, man, it's like [weird gestures]... hard to explain and shit, you know?  Anyway, my name's Karl.  I'm too far gone, but need to tell y'all something.  In my timeline, we fought these bastards... all of them.  I witnessed the final battle in my home dimension."  

Dramatic pause as he waits for the PCs to ask what happened.  Tinker did just that, "Did we survive?"  Karl solemnly shakes his head in the negative.

"But this time, I've prepared for... you to have this."  He pulls what looks like a metal whistle from the front of his pants, as if he'd been keeping it in his underwear for a really long time.  "We're in the end-game, now..." as his voice trails off, Karl gets that far-away look in his wonky eye, letting the PCs know that he's dead.

I asked Grok to make Doctor Strange from the Infinity War movie saying that we're in the end-game, now, but replace Strange with Karl from Workaholics and Grok created a weird hybrid of the two characters... which I'm keeping and is now canon because sometimes A.I. knows best.  Lol

Not wanting to actually put their own lips onto the metal whistle, they devised a plan - put the whistle to Karl's lips, and then basically stomp on his stomach, forcing any last bit of air through his mouth.  Sure enough, that worked.  The whistle sounded.  

Meanwhile, they found another exit and met the fresh air of fuchsia sky and suns-blazing desert.  Just then, a psychedelic painted school bus pulled up with Lyssa and company (who had been waiting at the original entrance), the banana-men and other NPC servants and hirelings, along with the 17 demons that they captured, as directed by Crane a session or two ago.  The psychedelic bus was driven by a different Karl from yet another dimension, telling them to climb aboard - "We're going to the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice, ja'abronis!"

They reached the appointed place, but also saw that several armies were already waiting - the Kha'alestinians, the Federation, Channa and her personal demon and A'agrybah royal guards.  The PCs conceived of yet another plan (that seemed to be the theme of this session, no actual combat but lots of plan-hatching for dealing with overwhelming numbers of foes).  

Crane, being invisible to demons, went over to the Federation side, stood next to a hover-tank, and used his eldritch beam to blast the demon side, which made it seem like the Federation was firing on them.  So, they started attacking each other.  The demon side also opened an enormous portal that released a demonic creature the size of King Kong that the Kha'alestinians began to attack, and then everyone was slaughtering each other, leaving the adventurers a chance to help Lyssa perform her own Ascension ritual.  

This was also the time that the metal titan guarding the backside of the purple priest temple beneath Kra'adumek arrived.  It had been summoned by the metal whistle, and the PCs directed it to destroy whoever was left over, mopping-up the survivors.

Lyssa spoke the words and made the gestures as a portal of her own manifested and a Lovecraftian abomination exited and hovered above her.  The bastard-princess Lyssa told the PCs that she must consort with this entity to fulfill the prophecy.  

As that was going on, two silvery and shimmering humanoid beings appeared, one male and the other female, both idealized versions.  Time froze for everyone but the PCs as the shimmery man spoke...

"You have a choice - slit the bastard princess' throat and be assured that no apocalypse or cataclysm or planetary destruction will result... the Old Ones who are awake now will go back to sleep and the ones currently sleeping will continue to slumber long and peacefully.  However, this will assuredly result in the Federation taking over Cha'alt, turning it into just another colonized world raped of its precious resources."  

The shimmering silver female continued, "The other option is to allow Princess Lyssa to live.  The Great Old Ones will be rejuvenated.  This ritual would be like a shot in the tentacle for the Old Gods, and they will awaken faster and in greater number... potentially bringing about the ruination but also, with hope, prosperity to Cha'alt.  With the Great Old Ones at full strength, the Federation will be repelled for at least a generation, and Cha'alt will have to face its own trials at its own pace.  Decide what you will do, and choose wisely, adventurers."

The PCs unanimously chose to let Lyssa live and Make Cha'alt Great Again with the Old Ones' help.  So, the Lovecraftian entity finished having sex with Lyssa, impregnating her.  It left the way it came, through the portal... this time smoking a cigarette.  

Channa was on top of the Crimson Rock, about to perform her own ritual, but the Metal Titan blasted her, then turned its attention to the demonic Kong who was kicking everyone's ass.  Tinker's player rolled a d6 for the Metal Titan, and I rolled for Demon-Kong.  He rolled better, and the Metal Titan sent a cow-puncher arm of steel right through the gigantic demon's skull, killing him.  

After that, the King of A'agrybah and his daughter were reunited, everyone went back to A'agrybah for festivities and rewards, and to guard the Kingdom from infernal forces as Lyssa's belly swole with the expected child.  Parades, dancing in the street, and Jar-Jar Binks shouting "Meesa gonna put his dick in the mashed potatoes," or some such.

Bishop Crane talked about plans for his church, how he intended to incorporate the Great Old Ones into the Lords of Light as these Ancient, godlike entities kept proving themselves intelligent and beyond good and evil at the very least, rather than being entirely malevolent like infernal deities, nor cruel and callous towards their worshipers, such as the New Gods.

Hours later, I was thinking about the consummation between Lyssa and that Lovecraftian entity, deciding to send the players the following text message (which I posted on X, as well)...

"You couldn't help sneaking a peek.  Its weird, alien penis, greenish-tangerine with purple highlights and lavender veins, extending like a tentacle holding a fat, juicy plum... into her nether regions!"

T'was a strange and satisfying session, concluding what had been happening on Cha'alt.  I'm sure the PCs felt, at times, swept-up by the chaotic shenanigans of all these forces playing out.  As previously stated, this was the mid-season finale.  On the other side, after VENGER CON V: The Will To Power happening this coming weekend, we'll continue the campaign and see what happens with everyone.

Thanks for reading, everyone!  Feel free to comment your thoughts, feelings, criticisms, and celebrations below...

VS

p.s.  Yes, weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  

"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.11

 

A lot happened this session, I'll try to get through all of it.

We only had three players because of life stuff, but I'm just grateful we had those three - Strum the human sorcerer, Bishop Crane the human priest, and Ug the lizardtaur warrior.

It began with describing Ug's purple labyrinth-glyph upon his left buttocks (BTW, if you want to watch me rant about narrative in my gaming, there's also some details on Ug's new butt-glyph here).  Strum was able to help Ug attune and understand what the glyph was about, what it meant for him personally.  The good news - Ug was able to call upon the purple labyrinth to "pick him up," in which a portal would appear somewhere nearby that he could jump into.  The bad news - a manifestation of past trauma (possible race or blood-memory) could annoy, harass, or even attack the recipient.

The sorcerer also used his magic to find the pink gemstone containing the bastard princess.  It was somewhere nearby, and he was able to pinpoint the exact location.  Ta'ala, the princess' handmaiden knew the location and who lived there - a broad named Quitha'ana, secular priestess of female empowerment.  

Meanwhile, Crane was getting a message from his latest Pa'azuk-born infernal-glyph that clued him into plans that a demon named Jalsalax was making with a minority faction of the Harmonious Validity (the governing body of Ja'alette).  Ta'ala mentioned that for years this small wing of the government was trying to usher-in mass migration of demons to the matriarchal city-state.

The meeting between this demon and his bodyguards and the pro-demon politicians was going to happen tonight at the Ovulation Chamber, a sort of conference building that's usually closed at night.  Ta'ala told the PCs about rumors of wisdom, treasure, or both contained somewhere in a secret area of the Ovulation Chamber.  

The PCs decided to try and ask Quitha'ana for the pink gem before stealing it or opting for violence.  After rolling her reaction, she gave up the magic gem immediately, and when the PCs told her of the demon migration plan of that faction, Quitha'ana offered to help in any way... as long as it wouldn't put her life in jeopardy.  

Deciding to keep Princess Lyssa in the pink gem while they fight the demons, they made their way to the Ovulation Chamber and waited as a cleaning woman surprised them, and then she left as they resumed hiding until the politicos and demons showed up.  The women had a sack full of harmony-crystals and gave it to the demons.

The PCs jumped out to fight Jalsalax and his two big sentinel demons covered in a black armor-like skin.  Combat didn't last too long.  Crane cut Jalsalax's hand off.  I think Ug severed his leg.  Strum used his magic gloves to create a bubble around one of the black sentinel demons and compacted him within a couple rounds.  The other was soon taken-out, as well.

A ring was found on a finger of the demon's severed arm.  It was a lesser ring of power granting a +1 to all the wearer's rolls.  

Ta'ala reminded them of the secret cache of valuables that was supposed to be on the premises.  They all searched, eventually finding a concealed hatch in the floor.  It led to a soft and squishy pink tube that sloped down.  Sliding down, they eventually came to a small, harshly-angled, black room containing a black rectangular box, like a treasure chest, except it had 12 colorful buttons on the top and a 3-digit panel towards the front.  

I won't reveal the puzzle/trap, but it was fun watching them work through it, and Ug could have potentially died.  Luckily, he didn't.

Inside was the Dya'azian Scroll.  When skimmed, this prophecy talked directly about the tro-kla'an or confluence of events that would either lead to the prosperity or ruination of Cha'alt.  It also contained the ritual of ascension which the bastard princess was supposed to perform at the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice.  

Hearing angry women above, and realizing the ladies had released a rampaging worm to torment them, the PCs opened a portal to the purple labyrinth.  A few things happened in this area...

Ug wanted to see what would happen if he tried to call for a portal to the purple labyrinth while in the purple labyrinth, using his new butt-glyph.  Apparently, it leads to a labyrinth which is somehow even more purple, a deeper, more serious and intense purple.  Before closing the portal, Ug threw a fuchsia crayon in there.  Hmm... I wonder if there'll be a call-back to that next session?

Strum used his magic to caress the facts of the pink gem in order to coax Lyssa out of there, which worked immediately.  She was grateful to be out... and very sexy.  Between her knowledge and the scroll, she told the PCs that 17 humanoids must be sacrificed during her ascension ritual.  Thankfully, the 17 could be made up of demons.

The adventurers located a brothel filled with purple chicken of the labyrinth and purple women.  Spending some of their talons, the PCs got the VIP treatment.  

Crane created a dragonfruit fruitie via his ivory scepter who the priest commanded to find the servants of the Lords of Light in A'agrybah and tell them to kidnap 17 demons and meet them at the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice.  

The dragonfruit dude did as requested, but not before he took advantage of his current purple brothel situation.  For a sweet, sweet 15 seconds he railed that purple whore from behind... and then sought-out a portal towards A'agrybah.

While looking for a good exit, the PCs stumbled upon the storm-opal knight of the Lords of Light, and he told the adventurers that the Federation broke into their tower, kicked out their servants, stole the Loc-na'ar, and laid a couple traps for them in the tower.

Just before finding a portal out of there, they saw another humanoid shape coming towards them.  This looked a lot like Ug, except he was purple and his chaps weren't assless.  For awhile now, Ug had been brain-boosted with that little device.  Well, he would now have to fight his dumber self... to the death.  Smart Ug tried to talk dumb Ug out of this confrontation, but dumb Ug wasn't having it.  He engaged, and I used a special kind of combat game mechanic which you, dear reader, may or may not appreciate.  

I had both participants in the one-on-one roll a d20, highest going first.  I assumed both would hit (one-minute rounds, y'all), so the combatant who won initiative could just roll damage, followed by the guy in second place.  On the second round, they both rolled again (I rolled for the purple doppleganger Ug), and this time purple-Ug won.  Unlike the first round, I scored almost max-damage, killing the original Ug who turned into a small pile of purple ash, as he did before when dying in the purple labyrinth the previous session.  

Strum had a bit of zoth left to reconstitute him but was unsure if he should risk further zoth-addiction by using it again so soon after the last time.  He handed the zoth over to Bishop Crane who drizzled it over the purple ashes, only to accidentally spill some on his hand.  The effect of that was unexpected, as I'd never "scripted" it, as some claim when I talk about the benefits of adhering to a Living Story, as well as, the Living World.  Yet, I knew which direction surprise elements usually go due to our campaigns underlying narrative [in a couple days, I'm going to blog my narrative manifesto].  

The priest imagined himself wandering inside an immensely massive purple cavern containing a being of equally cyclopean size and intelligence.  Crane knew instinctively that this was a Great Old One... either slumbering or awake, and communicating directly into the priest's mind.  Just as Crane was on the purple precipice of grasping the first few straws of revelation that would instruct him on the deeper meaning of life, the universe, and everything... he snapped out of it.

Not sure what to make of that crisis of faith fever-dream, Bishop Crane realized that he might have to completely reevaluate his stance on the Great Old Ones, as they did seem to be steeped in both universal understanding and divine wisdom.  

Ug was restored just after purple Ug melted away.  The party continued on to an exit, and soon found a purple portal just outside the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice.  Walking a ways, they soon came across an elf selling magic beans (this and something that would soon happen came from the Black Skull of Secrets where I drew two suggestions).  The PCs bought the magic beans and planted one in the desert.  Ug peed on it to get it started.  Lo and behold, it did grow into a beanstalk-like cactus without spines.  While it could have been climbed, instead, Ug poked a hole in it, drank, filled up his canteen as the others did likewise, and then he chopped the cactus down.

Continuing on, they were maybe 100 yards from the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice.  Not seeing anyone around, they shaded themselves for a few moments while examining a metal door set slant-wise into the rock. Believing they got here a little too early, the PCs decided to open the metal door and explore the weird shit below.  

Aside from a poison dart trap and turquoise slime that they threw acidic salt at to make it squidge away, we didn't have time to get further.  

But they should have an interesting time exploring these tunnels and caves next time - Saturday, July 11th.  That session is going to be the big one!  Lots of consequential action as everything comes to a head, and the fate of Cha'alt will be decided.  So, everyone better show up.

Thanks for reading,

VS

p.s.  Yes, weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  

"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.10

 

Ok, this was another great session, and I hope another enjoyable session report.  4 PCs... Strum the human sorcerer, Bishop Elijah Crane the human cleric, Ug the lizardtaur warrior, and Tinker the hybrid thief / sorcerer pixie fairy.

From last session, the PCs emerged.  Boxed-text incoming...

Purple Resurfacing

"After many hours of the claustrophobic purple darkness that became your world, you finally make it to the surface.  Even before exiting, you saw the fuchsia sky and squinted at the twin suns greeting you, along with the hot breeze.  You can already feel your dry lips cracking and instinctively go for your canteen, which is of course empty as you drank it all during your exploration of the well-caves below the subterranean temple of the purple priests.

The next thing you notice is the yelling and shouting and movement and purple flashes of light and energy on the periphery of your vision.  Taking a look around, you assess the chaos all around…

A much smaller number of Kha’alestinians wearing the purple severed penis symbol of their New God faith are busy stabbing random citizens.  You make out about 15 of them.

Directly opposite is a squad of badass mercenary banana-men and the raspberry fruitie that Crane summoned with his ivory scepter.  The banana-men are armed with low-tech firearms like rifles and machine guns.  There’s maybe 10 of them.  They’re firing on purple priests charging at them with a flame-thrower. 

An unsavory throng of the purple city’s citizens are taking advantage of the situation as several purple women chained to a set of three stone monoliths prepare to be sacrificed.  Left unattended, the purple women (who it’s rumored are bred via the purple slime pits of Kra’adumek) are being raped as the entire city is rioting.

In the distance, though not distant enough for your liking, is an amorphous translucent purple-glass alien demon worm that almost resembles a purple tidal wave of gelatinous ichor between moments when it looks more like a worm and others where it appears singularly demonic.

You can see where Kra’adumek emerged from the underground temple of the priests.  The whole area looks demolished.

Purple priests who have climbed to the top of the golden domed temple are crying out and making the sign of Kra’adumek, but the purple-god-thing is not paying attention to them.  It’s preoccupied with sloshing into hundreds of citizens on the street as it absorbs them into its purple ichor.

Eventually, Kra’adumek amorphously moves towards the temple and with a tentacle absorbs all the priests into itself as you can see their flesh quickly melting away leaving only skeletons behind.  Then, it smashes through the temple, destroying it.  It’s like Godzilla tearing through Tokyo."

With pandemonium all around and so many options, what did the adventurers do?  Crane sent his entourage of the faithful to help the banana-men and purple women, freeing them so they cannot be sacrificed to Kra'adumek, thus stymying his ever-growing power.  

As Tinker began looting nearby vehicles ablaze and storefronts (he rolled well and found several pairs of fancy shoes, a vest made of midnight-elf skin, a ring of keys, and 6-pack of zima ice lemon-lime worm-wine.  Also, a partially singed (from the fire) wig of blonde dreadlocks, and a peace-sign necklace that looked ridiculously huge on the wee pixie-fairy.

Meanwhile, the violet flame communicated telepathically with Crane, due to the glyph upon the priest's flesh.  It told Crane that a way out was nearby.  In the basement of a curio shop called Zimsa'alabim was an accessible portal to the purple labyrinth.  

They entered the shop after disposing of three purple priests, one of whom scored a critical hit, plunging his dagger into Ug's jugular.  Blood was flowing as the player marked off 11 points of damage.  Ug critted himself, killing one and wounding the other enough to send him on his way.  Tinker took care of the last by ramming him with his flying trident.

Inside the curio shop, they saw the shop owner gathering his most valuable possessions and two handfuls of purple talons before teleporting away.  Three more rioters broke the front window and were about to do more damage with a molotov cocktail as Crane threatened that they'd easily be killed if they didn't leave right now.  They skidaddled.

Before heading down, Tinker (who was flying as per usual) noticed something on a high shelf, towards the back and covered with dust.  It was a jade ring with a 1.5-inch diameter.  This, in fact, turned out to be the cockring of Senor Cha'ang Do'Urden.  Upon concentrating, a holographic projection of the small Asian dark-elf man who conquered half of the subterranean kingdoms decades ago when he was at the height of his powers.  "Looking for a little spare Cha'ang?" is just one of his frequent name-puns. 

Taking the only other door to the basement, the violet flame told Crane to look for a book on one of the dusty bookshelves called Amazing Stories.  The book had a false middle containing a vial of glowing purple sand.  A sprinkle of that would open the portal to the purple labyrinth.

The Purple Labyrinth 

Soon enough, they were wandering around purple corridors and weirdly shaped rooms.  It's a bit like the backrooms, except purple instead of "mono-yellow."  

After nearly a half-hour of getting lost in purple, they found several signposts that gave directions to A'agrybah, Kra'adumek, and Ja'alette.  They were now back on track to finding what they were looking for in Ja'alette - Ta'ala who was the contact and handler of the bastard princess Lissa who was basically under house-arrest for her own protection in that matriarchal city-state due to her life being in constant danger.

The PCs sent all but Shinta'ak and Bento to the portal headed for A'agrybah, so they could go defend or at least check-out what was going on at Vromka'ad's Tower, the new Temple of the Lords of Light.  That means 8 men-at-arms and 8 banana-men went forth to pursue their holy mission.

Just before reaching the portal for Ja'alette, Kaltha'alax (via his infernal-glyph) whispered to the priest that taking a hard-right would lead him to a powerful and dangerous demon that they really should kill for the betterment of Cha'alt.  

In for a talon, in for a gold piece... the PCs headed for the demon.  Crane concentrated on making himself visible as the violet flame glyph made him invisible to infernal beings.  He faced-off against the demon as Tinker crept around his back.  It was a cray-nax demon with three humanoid slaves he was taking back to Hell.

Ug leaned against the purple wall trying not to bleed all over the place, and failing (a purple goblin could be heard asking aloud where all this blood was coming from).  Meanwhile, Strum cast mesmerizing magenta mist to subdue the slaves, just in case they had any ideas of protecting their demon master.

Tinker cast a spell, giving the priest Advantage as Crane scored a crit, and almost killed the demon outright.  The thing about cray-nax demons is they can use nearby magic-user vitality to cast their own spells.  The demon, on his turn, used the HP of one of the sorcerers to cast a purple fireball (I'm going to make it official, so remind me if I forget - all spells cast in the purple labyrinth manifest as purple-hued).  It did a lot of damage, especially since everyone failed their saving throw, except for Strum who rolled a natural 20... no damage taken at all. 

Shockingly, Ug and Tinker both died, in fact... their bodies reduced to purple ash.  Strum held his action to see if Crane would be victorious as he still had Tinker's enhancement spell working for him.  He hit, but damage was minimal.  However, the priest used one of his seven lavender demon-moon dice of destiny to up the damage enough to kill him (bringing Elijah Crane from 8 to 9 XP, enough to reach 5th level), thus taking his soul into the demon-slaying sword and bringing it up to a +8 weapon vs infernal creatures.

Strum knew enough about the purple labyrinth to drizzle zoth upon both their purple ashes, which restored them both (and with full health).  Their new flesh each had a purple labyrinth-glyph, but they had no idea what that would do.

Strum was feeling exhilarated and nauseous from handling the zoth, as he remembered over-indulging not long ago.  I have to hand it to Strum's player, his acting was so good that I asked him if he needed some ibuprofen for his physically strained condition.  In time, he recovered and Ug mentioned the sorcerer was looking a little less chartreuse around the gills.

The party's main sorcerer also knew that wearing the flesh of a cray-nax demon allowed a sorcerer to borrow vitality remotely from nearby magic-users, just as the demon had.  It takes about 3 or 4 days for the demon's flesh to dry out and become useless, so Tinker kept fingers and a penis inside his zima bottles of worm-wine (to keep bits of the demon moist), and wore the demonic back-flesh in order to use the cray-nax's power for a few days.

The now-freed slaves told the adventurers that the demon knew a shortcut to Hell, and it was near the treasure vault.  Realizing the side-quest kept side-questing, but also knowing this might be their only opportunity, they walked toward the portal to Hell.  If you'll remember, the violet flame talked about a lesser artifact located in one of Hell's treasure vaults that allowed its owner to read the minds of demons.

What did they see in that infernal realm?  I pulled two suggestions from the Black Skull of Secrets, revealing there was three gangs consisting of rock people, paper people, and scissors people all on the right.  To the left were rotten fruit-folk who I deemed demon-fruities.  Tinker used his crystals to power a spell that made the scissors and paper people attracted to each other, which basically eliminated both factions and then the rock people finished them off and went away.

For using the crystals, I had Tinker roll on the fuchsia side-effect table and it said fruities would appear and challenge the sorcerer for supremacy of wherever they currently were.  So, the fruities were drawn inside the portal and demanded the pixie-fairy fight them to see who controlled the purple labyrinth.  

It was a fight between the chess club and math league, as everyone missed.  No one could land a blow.  Eventually, Tinker cast another spell, reversing know languages so he could make the demon fruities not understand each other.  Babbling and dejected, the demon fruit-folk began to wander the labyrinth.

I won't go into detail about their brief exploration of Hell, but I got to use one of my rock and lava maps as the PCs made a friend of this demon dog with a rainbow ear, and eventually scored the minor artifact they were seeking - Pa'azuk, which would allow its owner to know the thoughts of infernal beings around him.

Ug acquired a "fire stick" which is basically a wand of fireballs with 4 charges.  Crane took possession of Pa'azuk as he could internally hear the celebration of all three demonic-based entities reunited; Pa'azuk creating the third and final infernal-glyph upon the priest's flesh.

Oh yeah, and Strum's player rolled 3d6 for some of his lightning wand damage and all three were 1s.  That means a portal opens and a man holding a fish slapped Strum in the face.  At least he got a point of Divine Favor out of it.  

Brothel of Mistress Steel Kiss

It didn't take them long to head back to the portal, fight a big demon who was guarding the purple labyrinth entrance, and making their way, finally, to Ja'alette.  They appeared back in the man-whore brothel which they had visited earlier in the campaign.  

A bit of roleplaying later (Tinker donned the partially burned blonde dreadlock wig and pretended to be a woman in order to just get around and communicate with the denizens of Ja'alette), leading them to the gladiatorial vulva arena, past the uterine parthenon and cervical bank of Ja'alette, eventually to big momma's house of corrections where they located Ta'ala who told them the princess was hiding inside a magical pink gem that Ta'ala herself had given her after finding out that Ta'ala was about to be arrested for saying that non-slave men had their uses and letting a man titty-fuck her, which goes against their religious law.

That's where we ended it.  The PCs need to find out who has possession of that pink gemstone so they can release Lissa and get her to the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice so she can perform a ritual that will restore her birthright and hopefully save A'agrybah from being taken over by demons.

I received a large miniature banana-man with some kind of firearm (and banana clip which several people noticed both at the table and online), and that became the visual focal point for the badass merc banana-men blowing purple ja'abronis away back in Kra'adumek gone wild.

This was the 10th session, which means we're close to the halfway mark.  The PCs are a mix of 4th and 5th level.  The breakdown of experience points based on various personal benchmarks of the PCs as the campaign progresses is going well.  

Next game should be Saturday, June 27th.  We're getting nearer to VENGER CON V: The Will To Power!!!  

While I'm excited to celebrate the occasion with a weekend of awesome gaming, I've made the decision that this will be the last convention.  Attendance just isn't increasing.  I assumed, as most conventions do, that it would keep going up and up, but it's dwindling.  

That's ok.  One more thing off my plate will allow me to keep focusing on the other aspects of the hobby I love and continue to pursue.  Anyway, I vlogged about it here.

VS

p.s.  Yes, weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!