As the campaign winds down, I wanted to utilize one of my latest hand-drawn maps. The color scheme was inspired by mint-chocolate ice cream (although, it could easily double as a swamp).
The players praised the map as soon as they saw it. Thusly did it manifest the worm's share of the session.
We almost had two new players, but things happened and the adventuring party soldiered on with Bandersnatch, Thurberus, and Tinker.
But first... I had the players do a couple things (beyond leveling their characters. Those three are now 8th level and should have gained a new feat at 7th, FYI). First, I wanted them each to come up with something about their character that's fairly big or meaningful or important that no one else in the party has any idea about. And if that information is relayed to others at some point in the campaign, they'll get a point of Divine Favor for it.
Bandersnatch said that he was his own grandfather, having gone back in time at some point to have sex with his grandmother when she was young. His new feat gave victims of his sorcery Disadvantage on their saving throws.
Thurberus told us he had an unknown type of lavender gem embedded on his body (I think the middle of his chest). His parents never told him what that was about - it was years before he realized no one else had such a flesh-stone. Sometimes, that gem grants sensory impressions of things happening in other dimensions and possible futures. The v'symm priest chose the animal companion feat last time.
Tinker had been taken in by a tribe of Kha'alestinians as a youth, joining their struggle to free Kha'alestine. This tied-in to his latest feat... that he knew their language and culture, making him a helpful guide when it came time to adventure within Kha'alestine.
Second, I utilized a trick from a blog post my friend sent me weeks ago, the heading for this part of the blog post was something like the cauldron of chaos. I took a scrap of paper with a suggestion written on it by each player and placed it within the suggestion skull (of secrets). Once per session, I would remove a suggestion and try to incorporate that into the game, either in that moment or soon after. So, the players did that.
Every session, new suggestions - any suggestion at all, for an example I said you could write down "Go fuck yourself!" and maybe I'd do an impression of Elon Musk - are added, until there's quite a few in there. Starting this so late in the campaign, there won't be a ton by the time we've finished with this season, and I want to incorporate this from the very beginning of our 4th year of the Cha'alt campaign starting in January.
Still within the Temple of Unimagined Horrors - there's a reason, I suppose, why the horrors of this temple are unimagined. Because, aside from dozens of impaled victims at the beginning and the weirdness of being inside some kind of gigantic Cha'altian creature, there wasn't much in the way of horrific goings on. Basically, I never imagined them. Clever ruse or me and my imagination totally dropping the ball? You decide! Incidentally, I did sit down and try to think of horrific shit several times, but kept drawing a blank... now that I don't need them, I'm sure the ideas will start flowing.
As the PCs headed towards the last few flesh-cavities yet to be explored, they came upon a grey oblong box. Thurberus opened it to find his Gallifrey cardinal violet robes cleaned and pressed by the House of the Rising Moons Dry-Cleaners. Alone with his robes was a scroll tied at the middle with a Gallifrey cardinal violet ribbon. Written upon the scroll, in zoth, was the following... "Enjoy the freshness. You, Thurberus, owe me one (1) favor. Your friend, Garblegax"
Wearing the clean robes of that Gallifrey cardinal violet hue, they kept going. Thurberus couldn't help but show a knowing smirk. One day, that demonic imp would no doubt ask for something...
Pulling another monster out of my new DCC bestiary, the PCs encountered something that resembled mirror-like metallic plates covering the wall and floor. As Tinker investigated, the thing turned into a strange mirror image of the pixie-fairy and attacked him. Tinker used his bottle of spider milk (which melted it), Thurberus smashed it with the basket he was weaving at the time, and Bander cast an ectoplasmic webbing over the stuff that hadn't transformed yet. Thurberus used his obsidian thorn staff to absorb whatever soul energy the mirror-metal creature released.
Easily defeated, the party moved on. They heard the clicking and whirring of machines and saw eleven velociraptor-cyborgs walking around, protecting a towering super-computer towards the back of the cavity.
Into combat they went, Thurberus blasting 4 of the velociraptor-cyborgs with his staff, Bander slicing into a couple of them like they were warm butter. Meanwhile, the cyborgs were blasting the PCs with red laser eyes and by the 3rd round, everyone was hurting. Tinker came up with a rather inventive idea - he damaged and then proceeded to threatened the super-computer who eventually ordered his servitors to stand down, which they did.
The towering computer claimed to be The Oracle, and agreed to answer their questions as long as they performed a service for him - explore his latest "dungeon," essentially, playtesting it before The Oracle met with his own gaming group. Like any fucking boss, he GMed Cha'alt. Various sentient machines across the planet played in his campaign.
As the PCs were both trying to come to grips with The Oracle's ask while also stammering in an attempt to let this super-computer down easy without trying his new dungeon, The Oracle zapped them into his creation. While traveling, The Oracle told them the origins of The Frozen Caves of Mint-Chocolate! You see, the whole thing came about via a typo when a player in The Oracle's game asked about the greatest secret pertaining to the desert of Cha'alt. However, in the binary translations of code, it came out as dessert, and The Oracle's A.I. generated the Frozen Caves of Mint-Chocolate.
Appearing within a cave made of frozen mint-chocolate ice cream, the PCs were so they could see their breath. They walked through a tunnel to discover what was up ahead. At this point, I offered an adventure-themed snack... mint-chocolate ice cream for anyone who wanted it. Only myself and Bandersnatch's player partook.
Frost-bitten falcons, seemingly made of ice, flew around, occasionally nibbling on a frozen humanoid corpse. This dude had been sliced open, nearly cut in two. In front of the dead guy was a message written in either strawberry syrup topping or blood. "2% butterscotch ripple."
Not knowing what that meant, but believing it could be important, they filed that info away and kept going. They soon found a shivering derelict with his hands tucked into his jacket pockets, muttering to himself that the ratio was off - too much chocolate, not enough mint. Tinker got close enough for the derelict to stab him with a mint-scorpion dagger. It did minimal damage, but when Bandersnatch identified the magic item, it was revealed to have the power of killing an opponent who failed to save (if the top number for damage - 4 - was rolled). Tinker wanted and took that weapon after they killed the shivering derelict.
He had some local currency, too, in a Herculean effort of vast creativity and unparalleled imagination, I came up with "mint-chocolate ice cream coins" on the spot. Lol. Hey, it had been a month between games; I was rusty. However, I soon mentioned that the precision of working bas-relief pictures and text onto the individual coins affected the value... which is something.
Soon, they encountered mint-chocolate elves who were literally made of ice cream. These were the native guardians of the frozen caves. They asked the elves if they knew who The Oracle was. They didn't. The elves couldn't help the PCs escape this mint-chocolate cave system, so they went on. But not before giving the adventurers their 3rd best warrior to guide them around. He was named Chip.
The PCs found a cave where the worshipers of Vertoothgura'ath lived. They were performing some sort of ritual honoring their ultra-telluric ancestors, asking for wisdom. Based on the gestures, words, and symbols drawn upon the cave, it led the PCs to believe these folks weren't from around here. Sure enough, these worshipers were from outer space. They came here, persecuted for their beliefs by anti-Old One forces, in hopes of finding an ultimate weapon to defeat their enemies.
So far, they have a mint-chocolate hued box that did nothing at all. Bander asked to investigate the box, to see if he could find a way of activating or attuning it. The cultist asked Bander to place his hand in the box. When he reluctantly did, the cultist slammed the box lid down upon the sorcerer's hand. For that, Bandersnatch decapitated the cultist. No one in the cult minded because that guy was an asshole.
But they also had a formula (the ingredients were mint-chocolate ice cream, various herbs, and zoth) for communing with the Great Old Ones. So, they partook and I had everyone roll to see how many balls they were tripping. Thurberus got the highest... literally, and began speaking to Vertoothgura'ath.
The Great Old One of the frozen caves was limited in that his sphere of influence was wholly comprised of mint-chocolate ice cream. Nevertheless, he told Thurberus to charge the box with a blood sacrifice. They also asked Vertoothgura'ath if he knew who The Oracle was, and the Old One answered yes... he was this pocket-universe's creator. Nothing else of interest was discovered as they came back down to this plane of reality.
Using the dead cultist's heart to attune the magic box, the PCs convinced the cultists to let them utilize the box first and then hand it back to them before they escaped from these frozen ice cream caves. They agreed, and sent with the PCs their 3rd best worshiper, Vert.
Later, they came upon a high-tech facility known as The Scoop, this was a Dha'arma Initiative station where a couple dozen humans were trying to find their own way of leaving this pocket-universe. They came up with a giant ice cream scoop, but the mint-chocolate walls were so frozen that it needed to be heated up in order to be effective.
Killing the guards to gain entry and traipsing around the facility, the party eventually got themselves captured. There was one guy already in the holding cell, a janitor. The PCs tried the box out on him as I pulled out a scrap of paper from the suggestion skull. A vista of cobalt blue opened as the stars turned to jello. That's what the unfortunate wretch saw just before his mind broke and was reduced to a catatonic state on the floor.
After seeing this and being promised a way of super-heating their ice cream scoop, the dha'arma folks let the PCs go. They continued on, finding their way to a mint-chocolate dragon... hey, if you're going to commit, then commit.
Moving on, the PCs went into a foggy dragon's cave. Of course, this was a mint-chocolate dragon who's breath weapon was quick-freezing chocolate syrup. The PCs wisely decided to offer the dragon several baubles rather than attempt to slay him. Bandersnatch unburdened himself of several items he'd been carrying around since the first few sessions, such as the origami unicorn.
Having pleased the dragon, they made their way past him to a cave containing a gigantic freezer vent. This is where the ice-cold air was coming from, keeping the ice cream rock hard. Seeing a swirling fan blade behind the grille, they entered the vent, blasted a bunch of circuitry (that caused the freezing cold air to seize-up and stop functioning), and passed through the stopped fan into a swirling magical portal.
The portal took the PCs back to The Oracle where the super-computer was pleased with their exploration. He asked what they thought, and got some good feedback. In return, The Oracle agreed to offer them a small gift of whatever they wanted, plus answer questions. Without wasting a second, Chip (who had started to melt ever since they entered this beast's interior) hurriedly asked The Oracle for something to keep him from melting. Almost like the Wizard of Oz, the super-computer opened up a panel and out popped, not a fake heart for the tin-man, but... a tiny pale-blue cube that radiated immense cold. Chip swallowed it and thanked The Oracle for his generosity.
"Well played," the PCs said as they asked about the ultra-telluric glyphs. The Great Mainframe gave them a way of attuning these special glyphs (of which the PCs had 3), telling them magic words and ingredients needed to brew a potion that must be drank during the ritual. And I believe the PCs also asked if he knew where the Old One they released and had been tracking might be. He's still in Kha'alestine.
There was still time on the clock, but this was a better stopping-point than most. So, we ended it there. Next stop would be Kha'alestine.
GMing new adventures is a bit of a high-wire act. If you think of all the writers, prep, rehearsals, advisors, notes, re-writes, takes, and edits it requires to get a TV show or movie to the audience, it's a lot, and GMs don't get any of that. While running tried and true scenarios, field-tested over and over again, provides the most polish, tight pacing, and cover for all manner of eventualities, there's something about doing it live that's inherently appealing.
All I ask is that for you GMs at home, please have a net to catch you if you fall.
That's it, hoss. Our next session should be Saturday, October 25th. Thanks for reading!
VS
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