Universal Exploits

Ok, I've got some news.  For a select few, this may seem like a punch in the gut, for many a picnic lunch on a beautiful summer's day, but my guess is that most of you will probably go, "Meh."

When the book (being Kickstarted now) actually comes out, it's not going to be called Pussy Chasers: the Legend of Oral.  There are many reasons for this, such as pushing people away from it and Alpha Blue, as well as, making people think that the entire thing is either going to be pornographic or a riff on StarChaser: The Legend of Orin.  And to be perfectly honest, my wife wanted me to shut the whole thing down, and this name change is a compromise.

In actuality, the sleaze is probably only 20% - 30% of this RPG line.  It's just that most RPG books have less than 5%, so it makes Alpha Blue and company look disproportionately raunchy by comparison.  

I'll be parodying many, many sci-fi movies, tv shows, and so forth.  StarChaser is but one.  However, there will be a section/heading called "Pussy Chasers: the Legend of Oral" and it will deliver on what's already been mentioned in the Kickstarter.  Additionally, there will be other sections that will deal with various topics.  The space station brothel has already been done, so this new book will focus on other people, places, and things.  

For instance, today I'm writing "The Stars Are Dying" (cosmic horror) and "The Violet Jungle Moon of K'rymzonia Minor" (gonzo sword & planet pulp).  Both will have sleazy aspects, but neither will be as preoccupied with sex as the "Pussy Chasers" section.

With this new book, I will bring to life a campaign setting where life is hard and risking one's neck as a spacer is pretty much the only hope for escaping the indentured servitude of a dystopian future.  Writing about the pleasure seekers on a leisure station was a lot of fun, but it's time for something new.  

Keeping the old title would diminish everything else, making it fade into the background.  Kind of like if you knew you're 6th grade teacher had starred in an adult movie.  Now, that's the only thing that comes to mind when you're in math class.

So, what's the new title?  As of now, the working title is Universal Exploits.  Yeah, it's a bit generic, but there's a wink and a nudge nudge in there, as well.  At least we'll all remember the book's secret name when seeing it on DriveThruRPG.  ;)

Thanks,

VS

Play Alpha Blue NOW!!!

Back when I was funding Girls Gone Rogue on Kickstarter, one of my stretch goals / campaign promises was to do a backer-wide play by email or chat session of Alpha Blue.

Well, this is where it starts.  Read the description below, roll the dice, see what happens, and comment below how you're going to react (be sure to include a sentence or two about who and what your character is).  Don't have a character?  Either create one from the Alpha Blue RPG rulebook or simply come up with a suitable character concept.

These tables will also tie into my next and last (for awhile, at least) Kickstarter project for Alpha Blue called... Pussy Chasers: The Legend of Oral.  Check it out here.

The After-Party

You missed the actual party, unfortunately.  The freighter hauling 23 space tons of frozen Purple Prizm grape soda was late... then it was stopped by customs... and then almost hijacked by dwermfermers on ultra-amphetamines.  Needless to say, you're ready to get this after-party into full swing!  Let's see what happens soon after you arrive.

1. Someone slipped a turquoise dreamer into your drink.  Now, all you want to do is have anal sex.

2. You accidentally got diverted into a nearby conference room where an orange-furred platypusoid is giving a power-point presentation regarding time-share properties on New Alderaan 2.

3. An alien that's mostly just eyes and glowing indigo snot just threw up all over you.  Gross!

4. After about 20 microns of waiting, you finally got yourself a drink and found the friends you were hanging out with from before - now some random, albeit cute, woman wants you to get her a drink, as well.

5. As soon as you walk in, a trio of large, two-headed, hairy albino ape-men with glittering horns tell you that you're kind isn't welcome here.

6. You order a drink, the bartender pours a thick, molasses-like, chartreuse-colored substance into a tall, rectangular glass and tells you that'll be 15 credits.  You feel around for your space wallet - but it's gone!

7. Some girl wearing a sexy red outfit with three boobs and smoking a personal hookah motions for you to come closer.  You walk towards her just as another spacer comes up to the girl, putting his arm around her.

8. You get an incoming call on your vis-a-fone.  Before you can see who it is, a sneaky little anchovy-based life form swipes it out of your hand and scurries towards the main stage where various strippers are pole-dancing to "Girls, Girls, Girls" by Motley Crue.

9. Just as one stripper is leaving the pole-dancing area and another is entering, one of the women accidentally kicks a platinum credit (worth approximately 100 regular credits) in your drink.

10. A stripper with clear-colored, high-heel platform dancer shoes walks right past you.  She's the hottest girl here tonight.  Your gaze follows her spectacular ass as she walks into the "Anything Goes Room."

11. You're snorting a few lines of vermilion psychopath off some reptilian girl's tits when suddenly the veins under your skin start glowing bright scarlet.

12. Some jackass let his tiger-bot into the party.  It's already clawed up a half-dozen people by the time it finds you - and regards you with cold, predatory disdain.

13. You haven't eaten since connecting with the Purple Prizm freighter at Algeria Gamma.  You're famished and there's nothing to eat!  In the distance, you see some spacer holding a grilled space cheese sandwich.

14. A protocol-bot corners you, regaling you with anecdotes about the Enigma Cluster orbiting Kryus Prime.

15. An old and inebriated acquaintance believes he can shoot faster and straighter than you.  He challenges you to a blaster duel right here and now.

16. A suckered star slug from Vokk Major-Minor insults your funky threads while implying that you have a reputation for disappointing your sexual partners.

17. There's a Knight in White Satin talking to the bartender about something.  Must be pretty important if he's taking up the bartender's valuable time.  Meanwhile, you and the other patrons aren't getting any drinks.

18. Directly in front of you, some girl is taking a selfie with one of her girlfriends.  The flash momentarily blinds you - sending you stumbling into a nearby crowd of people.  Your face somehow ends up in the cleavage of Vanessa Von Tease, a well-known burlesque performer on the outer rim.

19. Princess Assa is in attendance.  She's wearing a tight little blue dress accented with sparkling diamonds.  The Princess has ordered her personal bodyguards to line up some of the more desirable men and women in front of her VIP corner booth.  You're picked to stand in that line.

20. You're fucked up on Tinkerbell's Fairydust, wandering around asking people about the Great Space Chicken and Cosmic Egg.  Eventually, a sentient violet-colored gas tells you about an easy game of smuggler's quarry happening in the next sector.  He's willing to stake you the 5,000 credits required to play, both of you will split the profits... but if you lose it all - he owns you (as in slavery).  Not being in your right mind, you signed a contract agreeing to those terms.
_________

Good luck, spacers!

VS