Monday, September 13, 2021

Freeing Slaves To Enslave Them


I hope to run a couple more playtest sessions of the Cremza'amirikza'am megadungeon that will be featured in book 3 of the Cha'alt trilogy - Kickstarter next month!

Two players in last week's game, both returning - MEMEME (ME3) and Prince of Nothing (check out his blog).

Prince played the same character as the last two times, a lock-picking droid thief named ST-34L.  ME3 played the shameless half-orc priestess as before.  Since there were only two players (a couple of unfortunate scheduling conflicts prevented the others from joining), I bumped them up to 3rd level.

By the time this session got going, everyone was aware of the machine on 2nd level that spews out this lurid magenta-violet light making everyone horny (or thirsty, as the kids say).

Again, the PCs tried to play with the buttons to no avail.  The massive resonator is protected by an invisible force field.  For me personally, that's where the "realism" breaks down.  Can you imagine the strength of will it would take for EVERY motherfucker in the megadungeon to leave the machine alone?  It boggles the mind how much of an impossibility that would be.  A triple-headed Big Bird dragon is literally more likely than the resonator still functioning without some kind of protective barrier.  But I digress...

Dark-elves and slaves were scattered.  ST-34L has an amusing plan for taking out a single drow watching two collared slaves in the huge open cave where everyone was before all Hell broke loose.  

ST-34L told the dark-elf, Stra'ang - member of the obsidian spider tribe in Cremza'amirikza'am, that he was the winner of Globulon-6 Grand Lottery Prize, held only during the alignment of the thousand spheres!  The winner is bestowed immortality and 100,000 chulaks.  To claim his prize, Stra'ang needed the droid to scan the back of his head.  

Wonderful ruse that should have worked.  I gave Stra'ang a 1 in 6 chance to see through it.  Wouldn't you know it, I rolled a 1.  Brandishing his laser-whip, the dark-elf attempted to subdue the surface-dwelling humanoids who tried to trick him.  Except, I rolled a 2.  Miss.

The PCs attacked him back with club and laser, killing the dark-elf.  After looting his body, the adventurers decided to keep the human slaves, allowing them to earn their freedom by guiding the PCs around Cremza'amirikza'am.  The half-orc Yarra wanted to only enslave the dark-elves, not keep the former slaves for themselves, but the droid thief insisted.

ST-34L attempted to fiddle with the resonator controls as another drow showed up, looking to recapture his slaves, but ran when he saw the PCs.  The PCs chased him down a tunnel, running smack into a contingent of skeletal humanoids.

A closer look revealed the humanoids were wearing spandex that made them look like skeletons - something between Scobby Doo villains, glam goth rockers, and Cobra Kai during Halloween.  The faux-skeletons turned out to be minions of a local warlord named K'chava.

One of the minions, named Dra'ak, was about to put slave collars on the PCs when ST-34L shouted, "Fight with us if you want to live!  Slavery is evil and will never be tolerated by decent men.  Kill them, my slaves!" Which was hilarious.

One of many reasons I prefer text-only is that it allows me to go back and see what actually happened, instead of how I remember it happening.

On the 1st round, Yarra missed and ST-34L just barely connected, blasting one of them for decent damage.  Their two human slaves did well, one of them getting a critical-hit.  He went ape-shit, biting a faux-skeleton's ear and plunging his thumb into the dude's eye.

The minions retaliated - a hit on each of the PCs for 5 and 4 points of damage.

2nd round, Yarra, ST-34L, and both humans miss.  Prince decides to use his Divine Favor for a re-roll, but gets a natural 1.  "Story of my fucking life," he says in the chat.

The bad guys attack again with 2 good hits.  They do 2 and 5 points of damage.

3rd round [crits on 18, 19, and 20 as per Crimson Escalation] - Prince rolls an 18!  Lucky break, hoss.  ST-34L wallops the bad guys for 24 points of damage that takes down two enemies.

The remaining pseudo-skeleton begged for mercy in the name of the Demon-God Kor'thalis.  ST-34L collars the poor son of a bitch.  "He's now our slave," ST tells Yarra.  "You will suffer the fate that you reserved for others.  This is what humans call IRONY.  Hah hah hah."

After some light interrogation, the PCs discover that the minion's warlord and former master, K'chava, is a half-demon and there's a human named Torg who understands machines like the resonator.  

During the exposition, the slaves were having sex and then Yarra gets in on the action, too.  ST-34L is livid, warning everyone to behave themselves or else.  "YOU WILL BE FINED A WHOLE HOUR IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS TOMFOOLERY." 

They have just enough time to formulate a plan - impersonate the minions wearing skeletal spandex when the session came to its end.

Prince said, "Man, this was a hoot!" which was nice.  ;)

I'm eager to finish sketching out the rest of level 2 and then onto level 3.  Meanwhile, I'm drawing more maps that will eventually become future levels of Cremza'amirikza'am.

If you want to be kept up-to-date on future games, follow me on Twitter @VengerSatanis, join the Conservative OSR & RPG group on Facebook, the Venger Satanis YouTube channel, friend me on MeWe, or just keep watching the blog for details.  


p.s. I'm trying to get 666 backers (if not 1,000) for the Crimson Escalation Kickstarter, so thanks if you've already backed it!  If you haven't yet, you should.  It's only $1.


  1. ST-34L is a great character. I am looking forward to the next time you have a game that isn't during my working hours.

  2. If you actually have that Demon Idol mini I am so JEALOUS! Its always sold out when I look for it 😫

    1. I don't have that one, actually. I want to commission an illustration for a demon lord with a similar look.

    2. That piece is by Otherworld Miniatures, a UK company with some distributors stateside. They do some nice classic stuff, pig faced orcs, etc

    3. Isn't that the statue from 1st AD&D PHB's cover?

  3. Lol I just read the other play reports I had no idea this was an X-rated game :P

    1. It depends on the players and what I have prepared. I list it as 18+ just in case players want to go there.

  4. When an orc is the closest things heroes have to an abolitionist... that's pulp fantasy! xD

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