Billions Is Better Than Game of Thrones

I know fantasy is kickass.  I love elves and dragons and magic just as much as the next D&D geek.

But there's something to be said for consistently strong characters and a story of revolving alliances, rivalries, betrayals, and sworn enemies.

If you want to watch a modern day Game of Thrones that never drops the ball, I wholeheartedly recommend the Showtime tv show Billions.

Like GoT, an episode can turn on a dime.  Events that most series would milk for an entire season, Billions deals with in an episode or two.  Which means there's always something compelling just around the corner.  It feels like an immersive sandbox.  I guess that's my OSR connection.

Anyways, watched the season 4 finale, and it was superbly awesome!  The series has been picked up for another season next year.  I'm just excited and wanted to share my love for Billions.  Watch it!

Enjoy,

VS

Game of Thrones - why so popular?

Well, there are many reasons for its popularity... but Game of Thrones is doing something specific to hook us in and keep us dangling without our realizing it.  Yes, we're now trained to watch and wait; trained like a dog.  Here's how they do it (woof woof)...

GoT is rewarding us intermittently (that means continuously but at infrequent and random intervals).  Every once in awhile, we get something we've been craving - a reward - tossed into our bowl.  Because we have no idea when (or even if) it's coming, getting such a treat makes it that much more exciting, special, and addictive!

That's why every blue moon, seemingly anyway, (could be every 2 or 3 episodes or once per season) we get the following...

• A gloriously gory battle scene with steel and blood and some poor bastard dying horribly up close and personal.
• Sex!  Yeah, that naked stuff we're not used to seeing in a TV show.  But let's be honest, every time we see boobs it's like the first time.  Am I right?
• Fantasy:  dragons flying overhead, a spell being cast, or some kind of supernatural event taking place.
• A major character dies.  What if that one night you decided not to watch, Sansa or Margaery died?!?
• Victory and defeat - you can't have one without the other, so usually one side gets victory and the other gets the shaft.
• Tyrion's wit, eviscerating some deserving fuck with just a few words.
• Revenge/justice bestowed upon the worst of the worst in Westeros.
• Receiving more than a clue about what's really going on - who's doing what to whom and why!

The rest is just a big tease.  It's medieval Machiavellian foreplay!  Sure, we get to look at beautiful countryside, amazing sets, dirty old men, heroes, maidens, etc, but a lot of the time we're also subjected to banking problems, traveling delays, the schemes of petty bureaucrats, cleaning bodies, traipsing through the forest, highborns being dicks, etc.  

Yes, GoT is all about the waiting.  And once we get our particular fix from the above list, we're all that much eager for more.  Unfortunately, that requires more waiting.  But we can't stop watching!  Oh no, what if we miss that thing we've been yearning for?  They just showed it two episodes ago... that means we could get the good stuff tonight!  Or, if not tonight, then next week.  Come on, man.  Just one more... just one more fix!

Yeah, the life of an addict.  Face it, folks.  We're not going anywhere. You see, GoT knows the secret - that an intermittent reward is stronger (hence, more addictive) than a regular and reliable reward.  Don't blame them, blame the human condition.  

Since this is a RPG blog, I'd be remiss for not suggesting this strategy in your own tabletop fantasy campaign.  Incidentally, I talk about this technique and a hundred more subtle secrets of Game Mastery in my book: How to Game Master like a Fucking Boss.  Also available on Amazon.com and CreateSpace.

What's your favorite thing about Game of Thrones?  Is there something special that you wait for each episode or season?  Some aspect of GoT you love, that they don't do enough of?  Comment below with what that is...

See you at the Westeros methadone clinic,

VS

The Barbarians: Fantasy Film Review

What if you took Conan the Barbarian, doubled the bodybuilders, threw in some cheesy comic relief, a gypsy clown caravan, arm wrestling, Michael Berryman, the largest uncircumcised penis dragon to ever grace the silver screen, and that obnoxious laugh from Revenge of the Nerds?  Well, you'd get The Barbarians.  Not a great film, but definitely entertaining.

I hadn't seen this since I was a youngster.  I fondly (in a weird way that just sticks in your memory and won't fade away) remember the belly button / ruby scene.  I suppose, as a 14 year old boy (albeit with access to HBO) seeing a woman's exposed midriff was almost as good as bare breasts.  Not really, but evidently it was still memorable.

That ruby is the MacGuffin of this story.  The violent and unkempt hordes of Kadar chase down the caravan of jesters, minstrels, and cross-dressers in order to acquire the Queen's navel jewelry of supposed magical properties or something, though we never get to see them.

Speaking of boobs, there is some extremely brief female nudity, but what there is can hardly be seen - most of the story either takes place at night or in dimly-lit chambers.  Appropriate for a fantasy movie, but it makes picking out details a challenge.

About those dimly-lit chambers, they look fantastic and so do the costumes - hides, leather, pieces of armor, helmets, swords, and most characters seem to be covered in fur or black robes or half-naked women.  There are quite a few sets: villainous lair, medieval strip-club, treasure tomb, slave quarry, swamp, and the perfect archaic city.  How did the filmmakers find or create these sets?!?  It makes sword-and-sorcery movies today look out-of-place and stupid.

And here's another reason to praise The Barbarians - real blood!  Ok, it's not actual blood.  In fact, it's totally fake stage blood but, damn, did it look like the real thing.  1987 was before the blessing/curse of CGI.  So, when Kadar's favorite captive / harem girl gets whipped (gotta give Michael Berryman something to do!), we see the blood on her back, and when he dies at the end (not really a spoiler because he's the head bad guy and this is a B movie) Kadar's mouth overflows with crimson.

Which brings me to Richard Lynch himself.  Yes, that guy!  Richard Lynch has been the villain in more 80's movies and tv shows than you've fantasized about swinging a sword and carousing with wenches.  He's super-serious, intense, and you just love to hate him.  I mean, that's why he was the king of evildoers in that decade - he really makes a screenplay's asshole come to life.

There isn't much sorcery to go with all that sword, but we do get a bit.  Kadar's witch, China, is exotic, beautiful, and looks like she could cast a spell or two.  Rather than expensive pyrotechnics, the audience gets red eyes, smoke, cobwebs, and smoldering sorceress intensity - she pairs nicely with Kadar.

There are a few cons to all the previously mentioned pros.  The barbarian brothers seem to stumble into the right people or location without breaking a sweat.  It's all too convenient and not the least bit believable but at least the story doesn't drag.  Not all the jokes are funny, although plenty worth a half-smile or more.  The Weapons of Power look like cheap props decorated in plastic gold.

By the time it was released, this type of film was on its way out.  A shame, since sword-and-sorcery is one of my favorite genres of the 80's and that decade did it right.  I can't think of a decent one that came out of the 90's or 00's.  Of course, now we have Game of Thrones.  Great stuff, but sometimes I just want barbarians, blood, magic, naked women, AND cheesy dialog.  It might not be as epic as Conan the Barbarian, nor as awesome as Beastmaster.  Nevertheless, The Barbarians is worth seeing.

I just bought it as a double-bill DVD along with The Norseman (which I haven't watched yet).  Until next time, fare thee well, my friends, and wear your mark of the open road proudly!


VS

p.s.  Oops, almost forgot.  Aside from the kinda lame Weapons of Power, Kadar brandished a pretty cool magic item of his own.  Below are the "official OSR stats" for it.


Shield of Blinding Light

This is a +1 shield.  The following enchantment can be used once per day: each opponent within sight has a 2 in 6 chance (alternatively, opponents could roll a saving throw to avoid - GMs choice) of being blinded by the shield's glaring light for 1d3 rounds.

Blinded characters move at half their normal speed, as well as, taking a 4 point penalty on their to-hit rolls, armor class, and saving throws.

Make their lives Hell

For starters, let me just say that I still can't get last night's Game of Thrones end scene out of my head.  It pervaded my dreams.  Not sure what made it so disturbing.  After all, I've seen most of Quentin Tarantino's films.  And yet, I have to admit I lost sleep over it - and the sleep I didn't lose kind of freaked me out a little bit.  I don't want to spoil anything, so that's the end of that, but God damn!  Ok, now I'm done.

Last Saturday, I cautioned the players that before reaching 5th level, they would each have to pay 4,000 in gold, services, trade, etc.  As expected, protests were voiced.  "What about all the monster killing we do in the dungeons?"  And, "How come we've never had to pay a mentor for training before?"  To the former, I answered, "Even several minutes a day embroiled in combat doesn't allow one to learn new martial disciplines."  And to the latter, I said, "Because at 5th level your characters are reaching a new tier or power and capabilities.  You've plateaued.  Now, it's time for your characters to break that plateau by paying for expert training.  (I'm probably writing it better than I explained it, actually.)

Well, even though they still had a little ways to go before reaching 5th level, they didn't have the gold.  I patiently, silently waited for their bellyaching to end before explaining the treasure-laded hook for that evening's adventure.  Finally, things settled down and the business of exploring began.

This Saturday (just a few days ago), we had a new guy play.  Before going on my vacation I was asked and agreed to teach an Intro to Roleplaying workshop for the local Geek Meetup group.  Long story short, it went well.  I got a chance to further playtest Liberation of the Demon Slayer, and even got a new player out of the two night workshop.

Being a noob, the new guy (who played a warrior) didn't have any preconceived nonsense or bullshit sense of entitlement.  Sadly, towards the session's conclusion, his character was dismembered by a spell.  An arm and both legs magically cut off and sent flying across the room.  Still alive, he clutched his sword +1 of regeneration.

After the battle, the limbs were gathered up, and thoughts turned towards healing.  Unfortunately, the cleric didn't have the spiritual juice to restore the warrior.  The Elf tried to use a mend spell, but ended up critically failing and causing his own leg to be severed.  Appealing to his deity, the lawful cleric asked for guidance.  "You must sacrifice your hand."  P'tah, the pseudo-Egyptian God of Order replied.

Well, the cleric, Orron, didn't like that answer.  In the meantime, the party's Elf, Tirrynel asked the Dungeon Crawl Classics version of T'sathoggua for help.  T'sathoggua spoke to the Elf, telling him to sacrifice the cleric to him.  Being chaotic (and without both his legs), Tirrynel, decided the Toad God was making sense.  He whispered a quick plan of attack, "Sacrifice the cleric."  to his Dwarf character (everyone but the new guy was running two characters), and some inter-party aggression began.

For whatever reason, I couldn't suppress my laughter.  This is the first time in however many sessions (20 or so?) that PCs came to blows.  It all seemed inevitable while, at the same time, being eminently avoidable.  Regardless of whether it was warranted, laugh I did.  Infectious laughter, and Tirrynel's player joined in - or perhaps I had joined in with his infectious laughter.

Orron was driven out, running rather than fighting or doing anything to stop the presumed ass-kicking-to-come.  He still did not accept that giving up his hand in exchange for re-attaching 4 limbs (3 for the warrior and 1 for the Elf) was a fair trade.  Nearly getting impregnated by a burrowing worm's pre-fertilized eggs, the cleric managed to find his way out of the dungeon.

That's all we had time for.  Normally, we stop between 11:30pm - midnight.  That session didn't end until 12:30am because of the heightened dramatic tension which we all wanted resolved.  Plus, this was new territory - we were curious to see what would happen next.

As of now, I don't know the cleric's future.  I haven't received anything from the player, and just sent a text asking him about what he wants to do.  The cleric might decide to go off on his own, come crawling back to the party, or seek revenge.  Time will tell.

Incidentally, this was the first or possibly second time the adventurers came up against an enemy with anti-magic.  That, a dismembering wizard, and a few 2 HD humans running around with laser pistols really gave the party a run for its money.  I'll talk about the old school module "Beneath the Ruins" I ran after next Saturday; not sure if it will conclude by then, but we'll be real close if not finished.

So, what do you think?  After he tries and fails, should a cleric be expected to sacrifice a valuable magic item, body part, or considerable amount of gold in order to work miracles?  How about the magic-user?  How do you handle in-party fighting?  What would you plan for next time regarding the current situation - anything specific... would you wait to hear from the cleric's player?  What about stepping in to arbitrate or negotiate things even though no one has asked you to?

The title of this blog post is, "Make their lives Hell" for a reason.  I feel it's the Dungeon Master's job to provide challenges - that means coming up with and unleashing tricky situations, formidable opponents, and mysterious encounters upon the PCs every week.  Some of which has unexpected consequences.  Things occasionally get crazy.  That's part of the old school renaissance, the non-standardization of gaming which allows, in one game, individuals doused in giant pink psionic snail slime to repel magical fire; while, in another game, giant pink psionic snails don't exist!

Also, I should note, that it's not all hellish.  DMs have two faces (or is it three?), the one doling out awesome loot and making the adventurers look all heroic by narrating the bloody defeat of their long-suffering enemies.

Comments welcome!

VS