I asked for your suggestions - give me the most boring, dumb one-sentence adventure description and I will Cha'altify that bitch.
Well, the outpouring of worthy suggestions blew my mind. That's why I collected them in this here blog post. Alright, here goes nothing...
Original: Find a missing cat.
Cha'altified: A missing cat who is the guardian between worlds was exiled to the center of the hollow planet, falling into the clutches of a subterranean alien vampire race whose civilization thrived over a thousand years ago.
Original: Safe-space sociology LARPer gets job at multinational megacorp copyright collector. This is its journey.
Cha'altified: Beta-male slave is imprisoned within a simulation energy-cell like a cheap, organic battery. The caves where these energy-cell fields are stored are haunted by sentient raspberry jellies and peanut-butter oozes at war with each other. These mutant aberrations of nature spawned by a putrefying zoth pool that also happens to be the only place where magical items can be recharged.
Original: A party of adventurers must protect the local lord's chocolate harvest.
Cha'altified: A sinister sorcerer and sulfuric chocolatier has been making delectable pacts with demons for years. Infernal beings love his sulfuric chocolate, but the constantly rising prices the sorcerer charges have convinced the demons that it would be better to attack the sorcerer in his lair and torture him for those secrets, rather than keep paying exorbitant prices.
Original: You book a room at an inn and have to get to your room.
Cha'altified: The inn is not only part brothel, it also serves as a dance academy for witches, making it the perfect finishing school for women who will eventually mate with eldritch demon spawn of the Great Old Ones. Around every turn are nubile ballerinas, witches, devils, and Knights of the Purifying Scourge prowling in the shadows.
Original: You have been chosen by the ancient prophecy to fulfill destiny.
Cha'altified: The looming stars drip off the cosmos' face, signaling the time for heroes who are all that stand between the remnants of civilization and slimy entities in the darkness waiting to return, dethroning mortals into the outer void. The prophecy was writ in crayon on the back of a kid's Red Lobster menu, and is presumed lost in a retired military facility from before The Apocalypse. The exact wording of that prophecy is key to surviving the coming horrors.
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Ok, that's enough for now. I'll do a part 2 either tomorrow or the next day (and maybe even a part 3). Remember to keep it eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, and post-apocalypse!
VS
p.s. Cha'alt: Chartreuse Shadows is 25% off on DTRPG. Also, still several tickets available for VENGER CON in Madison, WI this July. An old-school gaming convention like it's 1981. You won't want to miss it!
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