Wednesday, February 3, 2021

WotC Apology for Stuff of Legends

 

Here it is.  After the twitter backlash, we all knew it was coming.  Wizards apologies for Stuff of Legends.  Read their letter below...

Dear fans, customers, and D&D community;

It has come to our attention that Stuff of Legends, our new D&D web series involving "muppets" has negatively impacted those sensitive to such things.  While many in our toxic culture would call you social justice warriors, virtue signaling twerps, and complete idiots, we understand.  We hear you.  And we're there for you.

Obviously, large breasts, as well as the platemail which bouys them, is sexist and awful, probably racist, too, and no doubt the product of straight white male terrorism in our very midst.  

Furthermore, even though the character's name is quite amusing, we now realize that humor is the enemy.  Remember, while you're laughing, fascism is rising!  Joking around is forbidden at the gaming table, unless of course, everyone has checked the box on the consent checklist.  But even then, don't do it.  No laughing!

Henceforth, we will be calling this Tiddy-gate.  Heads will roll.  Heads as giant and round as that muppet's tiddies.  So it shall be!

Sincerely, 

WotC Management 


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10 comments:

  1. OMG. Your funniest post yet. You should think about writing for one of the late night guys. Hope you're doing well.

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    1. Thanks, hoss! Yes, we're doing fine. Hope you guys are, too.

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  2. If your boobs are big, then you are an evildoer... holy fuck... SJW's shaming people for losing weight (Adele), shaming women for taking care of themselves, shaming for having big breasts... So I guess a Black actress and her puppet are out of a job... grats white SJW's, job well done.

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    1. Perpetual victim syndrome?

      Yes, for those who may not know... the actress voicing the puppet is a black woman who specifically chose that look for her puppet.

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  3. Could the sort of anal-retentive, ungenerous, stingy lymphatic system of an extremist female SJW cause small breasts? Just spitballin' here, I'm not a medical professional!
    Seriously, D&D, thanks for the mammaries -- er, memories of when gaming was just straight-ahead foolish play, even gonzo play, and we were not looking over our shoulders constantly at the new incarnations of Ms. Grundy moralizing about our every plot and theme.
    And if we made sex-jokes and snickered, it was just because of the exotic distance and mystery of sex which we only saw through a telescope from our fortified no-women-allowed gaming bunkers...ahhhh, the good ol' days...

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    1. Small breasts, or better yet no breasts, is what they want. They want to be men. It's the only path to equality.

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  4. I assume this story inspired this? But in can it didn't... the timing is perfect:

    https://nypost.com/2021/02/21/the-muppets-slapped-with-a-content-warning-by-disney/

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  6. That would be poetic justice if there were complaints. I'd like to show this to my son, but should I be concerned about offensive Muppetry like Disney?
    Remember when gaming was sexist, misogynist, racist and all sorts of nasty adjectives? No, neither do I. This nonsense ruins our hobby. I went on a rant once after the fantasy-races-are-racist lunacy began. I said that orcs and such being classified as purely evil demeans no one. Orcs and similar creatures have no analogs in real life (well, maybe in Hollywood circles.) Fantasy "races" aren't the races of our world, despite the fact that there are ninnies who call themselves fey. A good goblinoid might be possible, but rare. Such a creature would be in danger of being killed by its own kind if it didn't act in a typical manner.
    My experiences as a gamer saw diversity at the gaming table without forcing it, simply because a number of like-minded people enjoyed playing murder hobos and eating unhealthy snacks. We even had female players who wanted their characters to be bosomy. Of course this was in the dark days, before sensitivity readers and trigger lists. Not that we wouldn't have been sympathetic to someone who had some sort of traumatic experience and didn't want it rehashed in a game.
    I think some modern gamers want reality catering to their fantasy as opposed to a fantasy escape from reality. These are the proponents of GMless, zero rules games with no chance of failure and collaborative storytelling only as long as they get to drive the narrative. I could care less how they play their games, just stop vomiting on the rest of the hobby. We're raising a society who thinks the world must always entertain their BS and companies like Disney and WTC are catering to the trend. Anyone who was really committed to justice wouldn't be wasting their time condemning things that even slightly offend them. Maybe one of these armchair paladins should get off the bingewatching couch and shovel the snow off an old lady's sidewalk. No apologies are necessary. These people need lives and a sense of humor.
    I see too many young people who can't fathom that Joe the Crackhead will mug a SJW despite how many social media followers they have. Officer Law won't fail to arrest you because you feel a law you broke is unjust. The real world is harsh and skanky sometimes and doesn't have to take your crap because the Starbucks barrista got your name wrong on your latte.
    Get these kids off my lawn already.

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