Divine Fallacy [random table]

 

As the video shows [the video], I've decided to make a random table that better replicates actual creation.  When human beings attempt to play God, it usually goes awry.

We tend to think of things logically and from a top-down perspective.  What's the shortest route between two points?  But human beings, emblematic of creation, doesn't work like that.  We are not machines to be programed, hacked, and placed within the greater whole, nor are we beasts of flesh driven by desire, chemical reactions, and hormones.  

Not only would this go great with my eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalypse, humor, sleaze, pop-culture, and grindhouse exploitation campaign setting CHA'ALT, but similar RPGs and settings.

Roll on the following table to determine just how things have gone pear-shaped...

Substitute Gods

1. Bureaucracy!  Whatever it is needs an extra layer of complication to circumvent.  
2. As it stands, the thing lacks a true connection to the divine.  It's missing God.
3. Too religious; it's just overly preachy or self-flagellating or superstitious.
4. Byzantine to the point where obscurity and labyrinthine misdirection become the point.
5. Humanoids are not islands, we are social creatures, as well.  It lacks any sense of community.
6. It's driven by social contagion.  Rather than performing its primary function, it has become merely a social outlet.
7. This thing fails to account for self-sabotage.  It's become an exercise in repeatedly kicking oneself in the nuts.
8. Three steps forward, one step back.  Constant progress is impossible.  If things are always "getting better" that usually means that somewhere, somehow things (big, important things) are actually getting worse.
9. Self-loathing.  It's easy to forget that we are sometimes our own worst enemy.  Most people fail to see that we hate ourselves and it shows.
10.  The Gods secretly hate us.  They never grant a benefit without taking something else away from us.
11. Everything comes down to sex.  If it can be used to fuel our lust and degeneracy, it will be.
12. Nature curves - eventually, ideas, concepts, and principles in favor of "A" will, one day, be ferociously against "A."
13. People are motivated by fear - whatever they're most afraid of will soon become their master.
14. High levels of intelligence and wisdom are rare.  It's more likely that a calculation error was made at the very beginning... making the entire thing erroneous. 
15. Betrayal!  Just as Jesus had Judas and Caesar had Brutus, so too will someone towards the top come along and betray the group or just the leader.  Either way, one person's actions will be the thing's undoing.
16. Progress moves too quickly creating a slippery slope... what seemed impossible at the beginning is now all too real.
17. It goes too far - the initial concept was good, but it managed to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
18. The old ways are best - but not always!  Sometimes, actual progress is at hand, yet conventional wisdom and/or conservative values simply get in the way.
19. Humanoids like to put their faith in false Gods; the idols of high-tech, science, artificial intelligence, or anything that tries to prove something one way or the other turns out to also be a bad idea more often than not.
20. Roll twice!

Well, there you have it, folks.  A random table that both replicates the divine and human attempts to mirror the divine.  Basically, it's a miracle the human race has survived at all.

Thanks for reading,

VS

Community Project: Post-Apocalypse Race

Zakero brought this idea to me, I loved it, and so now it's happening.  But we want you guys to help.

This is a crowd-sourcing community project for a weird, wild, gonzo, post-apocalyptic race set in the future, possibly on another planet.

Here are the basics: It will be a d100 random table full of crazy/awesome yet appropriate results.  The race will be in 3 parts; first racers will roll a d12, then a d30, and finally a d100.  If you want a spawn of Cthulhu to have anal sex with a cybernetic neon unicorn, well... that's probably a different table for another time.

Think Mad Max, the Hills Have Eyes, and that Thundarr the Barbarian episode where they have to get the helmet of power - "Challenge of the Wizards" (suck it, Chom!) This is a hellish, science-fantasy, mutant-strewn wasteland.  Each entry should be 2 or 3 sentences long and appropriate to the genre.  After that, feel free to do as you please, though there are no guarantees of having your entry published.

Things to keep in mind: references to 60s, 70s, and 80s sci-fi, humor, sexiness, gonzo, weird but plausible, flavor text to give us a sense of the race itself.  Any kind of world building is a plus!

Whatever you suggest is simply that - a suggestion.  There are no guarantees.  And your suggestion gives us permission to publish it in the forthcoming PDF, which will be available for FREE.

There's a little bit of cost for layout and art, but I'm going to eat that myself.  Especially, since this is going to (possibly) expand the Alpha Blue and Crimson Dragon Slayer lines.  Although, since this concept is a random table, it should be usable with any tabletop RPG.

What to call it?  Zakero came up with Alpha Blue: Getting Racy, which is good.  But the title is still up for grabs.  After considerable thought, I liked Death Race: Fury Road, an homage to both Deathrace 2000 and Mad Max: Fury Road.  Nothing is set in stone.

Zakero set up a google document here.  But I'm also taking submissions in the comment section below and privately via email if individuals prefer:  Venger.Satanis@yahoo.com

Just know that once you submit an idea, it can be used for this project.  However, you also retain the rights if you want to use it yourself down the road.

The deadline?  One week!  That's right, on Wednesday morning, October 26th, the document will be finalized and handed off to +MonkeyBlood Design (Glynn Seal) so he can make it look awesome.

Any questions?  Just ask below!

VS