Looking Back at Empire of Satanis

"If you're going to do something that is naughty, do it, and realize that you're doing something naughty and enjoy it."
 ~  Anton Szandor LaVey

It seems like a lifetime ago that I wrote one of the worst RPGs in existence (well, a few people kind of liked it).

Empire of Satanis was my self-publishing origin story. I wrote it over the course of a few months (with some help from The Forge) and put it out there for God and everyone to see (and be ashamed of) in 2005.  Not sure why some of the product information shows a 2011 date - maybe that's when Lulu updated their site?

This being 2005 and 2006 (for the 2nd edition), right around the OSR's genesis, I cobbled together a traditional and what would later be known as a "story game" hybrid.  And with games such as Alpha Blue, I'm still doing that.  Neo-OSR, baby!

This is the free PDF.  That is a link to the Lulu print-on-demand hardcover (why I thought this deserved a hardcover version is fucking beyond me).  Both updated versions are a bit longer than the original.  I doubled-down on the unnecessary quoting of inspirational luminaries such as H.P. Lovecraft, Thomas Ligotti, and Anton Szandor LaVey.  The three L's!!!

I also did all my own layout using Lulu's templates.  Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ!  Now, you know why Glynn Seal of MonkeyBlood Design does everything for Kort'thalis Publishing.  So bad!

Just reading the reviews is a treat.  Empire of Satanis deserves to be mercilessly crushed... and it frequently is.  A lot of reviewers had fun skewering this kaleidoscopic demon turd.  Hopefully, they'll put a smile on your face as they do my own.  :)

You can read this guy's Fatal & Friends detailed analysis of the game right over here!  He updated the F&F EoS autopsy not too long ago.

Yes, it's an uncharitable view, but I can't say he's wrong.  Empire of Satanis is an amateurish mess of terrible cliches and something even worse - running in the opposite direction of cliche... only to hit a brick wall at top speed.  Indeed, the thing is weird for weirdness-sake, and tries too hard in the process.

However, taken from the standpoint of purposefully awful, perhaps... maybe... possibly there's something intriguing deep inside.  I can barely imagine pairing it with Encounter Critical or Crimson Dragon Slayer.  Irony only goes so far...

Is there a moral to this story, High Priest Satanis?  Yes.  Yes, there is.  Even if what you're writing now is so bad it stinks on ice, there's hope for the future.

A couple years from now, you could be getting paid a few thousand dollars a year for writing whimsical exploitation trash.  I did it, and so can you!

VS

p.s. I took the name Satanis as part of my nom de plume to keep myself humble.  Never forget!

[d6] Star Wars RPG: revised, expanded, and updated

[See this page for clarification]

A couple days ago, I caught wind of a massive, fan-created document for the old West End Games Star Wars Roleplaying Game that uses a d6 system.  The rule books (plus supplemental material) of the WEG Star Wars are all out of print.

Several fans went to great lengths in order to create a 500 page, full-color PDF version of the game.  Their development blog is here (with PDF link).  The following is a snapshot of their mission statement...

The goal of the SW3E project is to convert the entire core rules of the Star Wars Roleplaying Game 2nd Edition Revised and Expanded (SW2RE) into a digital .pdf format with a new crisper look. In addition we aim to integrate many of the “expanded” rules published by West End Games (WEG) in various sourcebooks and galaxy guides, and even some of the great house rules that have been developed over the decades.  

We're treated to advantages and disadvantages (merits and flaws, basically) in character creation that's part of the d6 Space RPG.  Also, the Star Wars prequels and post-trilogy fiction influence the flavor text, stat blocks, and artwork.  And, well... there's just so much there.  500 pages is a lot.  Besides, it looks beautiful with pleasing layout, sidebars, different colored headings, easy to read charts and tables, etc.  After a thorough skim, the only real (albeit minor) complaint is the lack of poster art, stills from the original movies, and classic Star Wars artwork depicting several key characters at once it their FULL PAGE glory!!!  That would've been the cherry on top.  I'm sure the designers had their reasons, licensing and legality being paramount.

Being something of a dinosaur, I prefer a print version to PDF.  So, I uploaded the PDF onto Lulu but that left me without a suitable front/spine/back cover.  Stephan Burger generously donated his Star Wars artwork for my personal copy.  You don't know how much willpower it took for me to not swap Luke out for Boba Fett.  If I decide, for whatever crazy, cash-burning reason, I need a second copy, Boba Fett will grace the cover!

Without further ado, my upload of the full color print version of their masterpiece is here.  Yes, it is ungodly expensive.  However, until Dec. 2nd, there's a Lulu 35% off coupon code making it less so:  SAVE35

Or check out Imladris' black and white hardcover Lulu upload here.  Definitely more economical but not as much fun.  Oops, just realized that version is in Spanish (however, the preview shows English... strange)!  Buyer beware.

Well, I can't wait to get my 3rd edition d6 Star Wars Roleplaying game in the mail and run some old school Star Wars games.  When I do, there will be blog updates aplenty.


VS

p.s.  Someone just mentioned the "SAVE35" code didn't work for them (though, it worked for me this morning).  In that case FLASH30 should get you 30% off printed items through tomorrow, November 20th.