Crystals of Chaos [session report #16]

 

These session reports aren't just an ongoing narrative of what's happening in the game, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the cooperative story that we're creating and experiencing at the table.  

It's also a deconstruction of the medium and this particular campaign, what works, what doesn't, things tried, lessons learned, plans for things to come, etc.

Even though it was loads of fun and significant based on the utilization of certain techniques, mechanics, and play aids, session #16 felt a bit like treading water.  There's a reason for that.  I'm trying... or was trying, it might be more accurate to say, to delay the "final boss," which I wrongly conflated with the end of the campaign.

Just because the main and current antagonist is defeated, that doesn't mean the campaign has to end there.  Although, I do want to conclude it eventually.  So, anyway, yeah... this session seemed more like a random episode of Lost in Space, where the adventurers meet some random NPCs in a random weird part of the world, get up to some mischief, find their way into a jam, out of a jam, and keep going towards whatever leads are left to follow.

Next session, no matter what, it's going to have closure.  And then, if it continues, which I think it will, there will be yet another reason to keep adventuring.  

Three players this time due to a European vacation for Heighten's player and Jackal's player being sick.  So, it was the half-orc warrior Krandol, Zagreus the dwarf thief, and Robard the dwarf sorcerer.

The PCs found themselves in the underworld depths of Cha'alt, not too far away from the Hell-mouth.  They wandered the obsidian and onyx tunnels and caves, dimly lit by orange pools and streams of hot magma.  Eventually, they came to a buxom young hottie named Jennifer who (as I randomly rolled) was dumb as a box of rocks.  She asked them their desert name and talked of an ancient prophecy she was destined to fulfill - going with strangers from the surface to do something important (like save Cha'alt from total annihilation).

First however, they would have to dispatch Jennifer's pimp.  The pimp came out of the shadows at that moment with a leopard print zoot-suit and matching feathered hat.  He brandished a gold-plated blaster and proceeded to shoot Krandol in the chest doing 17 points of damage; the weapon did 1d30 damage because why the fuck not?

It didn't take long for them to rid Cha'alt's underworld of this pimp so Jennifer could accompany the PCs on their mission.  

Robard took the golden gun.  Krandol tickled their new companion with his tentacles, received a hardcore lap dance, and got his rocks (dumb as hers may be) off... thus securing the half-orc with the bonuses due from sexual release.

Due to that distraction, the adventurers lost their sexy female guide who was both expecting and leading them to a certain place.  So, they just kind of looked around to see what they could see.  Wasn't long before they stumbled upon three Federation soldiers who'd lost faith in their insane commander and went native.  They warmed themselves by a fire, cooking demon-rat on a stick.

Now, I had briefly introduced something that goes by x-rated cards, triple-x cards, Cha'alt cards, Venger cards, Cha'alt-X cards, or some variation.  Basically, they're the opposite of the SJW x-card "safety tools" you sometimes hear about from leftists on social media.  But instead of warning the GM to gloss over "problematic content," my cards encourage the GM to go farther into eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalyptic, humorous, sleazy, and pop-culture territory.  It's a way to make the game even more "problematic" and inappropriate... speaking of which, I showed them off in the latest episode of Inappropriate Characters [start at the 59th minute].

So, all 7 cards were in a pile in the middle of the table.  At any point, a player (or me, I suppose) could hold up one of those cards, and I'd do what I could to incorporate that vibe into the game.  

At this point, Robard's character tapped the post-apocalyptic card, so I described that the Federation dudes had pulled a cargo container from the before-times out of some subterranean ravine.  It contained really old provisions, such as a can of beans, spam, cliff bars, chocolate pudding cups, etc.

I also made it clear that if anyone at the table (but especially the individual who used the card) could provide suggestions.  If someone has a red-hot idea, why not share it, right?  This is supposed to be collaborative storytelling, after all.

Realizing these ex-Federation troopers would be an asset in finding Commander Andrak, they brought them along.  Eventually, the PCs encountered a chartreuse elf and fuchsia elf arguing about the existence of a legendary "promised land" called Fucha'al.  Robard involved himself in that discussion, wondering if it was somehow related to the purple labyrinth. 

I'm not sure why, but they went back the way they came and journeyed another mile or so up to the Hell-mouth.  Their side (the Cha'alt side) was congested with a waiting army of 250 - 300 demons with a demon general right next to the Hell-mouth itself.  Robard made Zagreus invisible, so he could sneak up to the general without being detected.  The dwarf thief pilfered a bar of gold from the demon who realized what was going on, slashing at the invisible Zagreus without effect.

Zagreus looked into that orange-red abyss and saw a butt-biting demon and several other humanoids being tortured by a pool of liquid fire.  The PCs decided to keep going in that other direction, away from the Hell-mouth.

The ex-Feds pointed the PCs in the direction of Commander Andrak's last known whereabouts.  So, they continued on... coming to a pool of brown liquid that smelled like cotton candy marshmallow berry waffle cone.  It smelled so good, but looked suspiciously like poop water.  Two of the Federation guys washed themselves in it before Robard dipped a rock in it and put it on the tip of his tongue for only a second, but enough time to realize that it was indeed shit.

They moved on, only to encounter a strange humanoid covered head to toe in red crystals.  He claimed to be the last survivor of that red crystal universe the PCs had a hand in destroying, and wanted to punish the PCs for taking part in it.  He banished them to a red crystal prison where they found three other adventurers who'd been trapped here, but they were also made of red crystal.  The leader was Crystar, and he had a badass red crystal sword.

Those three had a plan, which was to slaughter the jeweled gnomes that also lived and worked in this prison.  So, they found the gnomes who were throwing red crystals into the open belly of a demon statue that was filled with fire - a humanoid figure was in there, consumed with flames and silently screaming.

They shattered the gnomes and teleported the flame prisoner out when they realized that killing the gnomes wasn't enough to get them out of this prison.  It was a tall humanoid with goatee and black eye-patch named Zarzax.  He insisted that everyone bow to him.  The PCs were reluctant, no surprise there, so Zarzax made a show of force, nearly killing the sorcerer in one blow (while also brushing off a would-be devastating attack from the party's resident badass, Krandol).

After bowing to Zarzax, the new leader used Crystar's sword to cut through the red crystal prison reality into the PCs' home world, back where they left off.  Krandol convinced Zarzax to lead the demon army they found.  So, Zarzax went up to the demon army and only had to slay 12 of them before they bowed before him, then the PCs encouraged their new evil leader to conquer Hell itself.  Why not, right?

Robard used commune, according to the new alignment rules in Advanced Crimson Dragon Slayer, to speak psychically with the Hell-mouth - but not before pulling out the eldritch card and describing the Hell-mouth as some gargantuan, Lovecraftian fire-worm (or lava-worm, if you prefer) with tentacles, it's open maw being the gateway between the infernal realms and the bowels of Cha'alt.  Yes!

Robard asked if the fire-worm would close its mouth in exchange for a service.  The fire-worm gave Robard a year and a day to summon it again upon the surface of Cha'alt, which the sorcerer agreed to.  But to make it official, the fire-worm wanted Robard, in this metaphysical space, to have sex with a fire-worm / lady hybrid while it watched.  Robard did as he was asked... calling upon the lavender moon of Chipotle Cheddar to seal his destiny.  At first, like Heighten Chancery Philthrop III, he rolled a one (critical fail), but used a point of Divine Favor to re-roll and got a 3.  Success!

Robard succeeded... "I lived the sorcery."  The Hell-mouth closed, separating Zarzax and his new demon army from the PCs, so they could continue going after Commander Andrak and save Cha'alt.

That was pretty much it.  With only 20 minutes or so left of the session, I decided to end it there.  Oh yeah, Robard's player recorded our session with some new device he just acquired.  After cleaning up the audio, he's going to send me the file(s) and then there will be a legit artifact from the Crystals of Chaos campaign (other than these session reports).

Yeah, it was lots of fun, but didn't really move the needle so much as delayed the big finish... which probably won't actually finish the campaign, but we'll see.  No promises.

It was awesome to debut the new Advanced Crimson Dragon Slayer character sheets and Cha'altian x-cards, have another go at the infernal destiny d6s, and record this session for posterity.

According to Zagreus' player, we need a harlequin romance card, too!  To comment on the cards, quickly, I think they worked great.  Only 2 of the 7 used, but that was a fine start, and they did exactly what was intended.  I'll definitely keep them at the table for future sessions.

Next session in 2 weeks if all goes well.  Thanks for reading!  Your feedback is appreciated.

VS

p.s. Yeah, now's the time to get your weekend badge for VENGER CON III: Revenge of the OSR.  But in the meantime, if you don't already own the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy, ordering details right over here.