The last couple sessions were kind of a "bottle episode." The PCs were playing themselves but from various dimensions. Now, it was time to get back on track...
However, the two slightly diverging storylines has pretty much all meshed together in everyone's mind, and I realized at the end of the day, it didn't matter what color they were or what universe they originally hailed from - adventure awaits!
Given the choice, we started the session with purple H'ork, purple Bandersnatch, a Russian "commie" Tinker (everyone enjoyed the Russian accent, which was better than his Jamaican), original Therberus (having gotten tired of the shake-weight, he wanted to get back to that old religion of dead cows and suicide cults), and purple / original Black Francis.
Yes, we had a full compliment of 5 players... but since that's so rare (usually one or two can't make it each session), our home game is still looking for a sixth.
The most significant aspect of the campaign (this third year of it) had been the release of the Great Old One Igg-Yig-Yatha'ak and the promise of ultra-telluric glyph attunement within the Temple of Unimagined Horrors. The PCs found themselves not knowing exactly where they were but in a system of tunnels and caves below Kha'alestine.
I decided to go with an idea I improvised in one of my latest videos on story-now, here. Garblegax, the half-demon, half-imp trickster decided to help the PCs because it would help himself. He was on the run from the blue-raspberry bastards (the PCs from another dimension) led by a tangerine Isithar, the dark-elf who swore to take revenge upon the purple bastards from several sessions ago.
But the main reason why Garblegax told the PCs that a foursome of demons were in Kha'alestine and magically subduing the Great Old One the PCs were pursuing was that Garblegax had been fired by one of them for not chilling the blood wine to one of the infamous four's satisfaction. Soon after, wandering the frozen lake, the mischievous demon-imp was captured by slavers and forced to work a series of lowly data entry positions until he escaped.
With his trademark "Za'alutations," Garblegax detailed the who's who in Hell that were helping the Kha'alestinians, but obviously not out of the goodness of their heart - Zevdub the archduke of the fiery pits, Kreznok leader of the Principalities of Darkness, Senyvo Demon Lord and heir to the circle of heresy, and Baelzyroth 1st Lieutenant of Kort'thalis. These infernal beings had a plan, and Garblegax wanted the PCs to interfere, which would also benefit themselves and Igg-Yig-Yatha'ak.
However, the infamous four were too strong. The PCs would need to find one or more artifacts within the Temple of Unimagined Horror before they could face them - including rumors that the witch-haunted Necronomicon was housed there, as well. This temple could be accessed by walking a couple miles east. So, the PCs set off to explore these caves on the way.
Before leaving with his box of wine, Garblegax gave the PCs a bag of holding. I got the idea (from a member of the new X community here) of such bags being registered and accounted for by a serial number. Being in a whimsical mood, I made it a cereal number, instead. Bandersnatch put his hand in Garblegax's bag in order to pull out the magic bag he had in there. He rolled a 5 for the Fruit Loops bag of holding. The bag of holding had its own chameleon circuit and looked like an actual cereal box, rather than a bag. Yes, I've been watching a lot of vintage Doctor Who lately.
Now on their way, the PCs soon crossed paths with a fancy gentlemen wearing resplendent robes in the hue of Gallifreyan Cardinal Violet, not as impressive as Tyrian Purple, but a close second. Vorusa was looking for the Vault of Rassilon where he might find the bejeweled codpiece of Rassilon (of course). With a series of false-flattery and barely veiled insults, the PCs bantered away at Vorusa. Not wanting to be delayed, he quickly left the PCs' company before he could be stabbed in the back, heading forward into a cave of lizardfolk who the Gallifreyan chastised for leaving dirty puddles all over the place.
There were some filthy beggars also in that cave, which H'ork dispatched as if ordered to by the Orange Emperor! Lol.
After a bit, the PCs also went into the lizardfolk cave. Instantly killing 3 of their guards, the fiercest warriors of their tribe, the lizardfolk were easily convinced to serve the adventures. Interrupting that, however, was a small group of interdimensional nomads who arrived via portal with microphone, amplifier, and podium to give their "stolen universe acknowledgement." Even with greater than average hit-points (oh yeah, most of the PCs are 7th level now) and laser-katanas, the PCs eventually took them out. Aside from their cool weapons, one of them had a tiny alien creature on his person... along with three mystical seashells. Thurberus took the little creature in, naming him Ba'ab.
The PCs stayed around the cave to rest as the lizardmen made a hearty stew which they all feasted upon. I made a note to later roll for diahrrea, but promptly forgot about (maybe for the best, Lol). With a couple of the lizardfolk walking in front, they explored a cave containing humanoids with glowing yellow eyes mining crystals for the hive. Clearly, these people were dominated by something. The PCs stole a few crystals, and soon left.
Pro-GM tip: If you want the PCs (and players) to value something or perceive something in their world as valuable, make it fucking useful! And while you're benefiting the PCs, do something nice and/or fun for yourself, as well. You've earned it. ;)
I toyed with the idea of energy crystals routinely found in the subterranean realms of Cha'alt to be a power source for magic, but decided to explicitly state that a sorcerer could fuel his magic by using crystals. However, each spell cast with a crystal was accompanied by a roll on that d100 weird side-effect table in Fuchsia Malaise (I do love that table). So, we got to see some really weird shit as Bandersnatch cast spells throughout their trek.
Soon the PCs came to a cave where a handful of Kha'alestinians were about to throw what appeared to be a half-Druish princess into a pit containing some awful creature. The d6 Zeeku rolls determined that Kha'alestinians hated v'symm (that's now part of the campaign setting's lore, if not official Cha'alt canon), which is the mask wearing race that Thurberus was. So, most of them attacked him. A couple made good on their attacks, braining him with their ga'afi sticks.
When it was all said and done, the PCs talked to the almost-sacrificed woman wearing fancy brocaded silk and exotically perfumed. To their dismay, they learned she was only a handmaiden to the Princess of Kha'alestine, and no longer even that as her half-Druish ancestry was found out - which is why she was brought down here to sacrifice. Without much thought, Bandersnatch pushed her into the pit since she had little to no value to them - I guess that sleaze factor 5 bonus just wasn't needed (somewhere out there, Botserdomus is shaking his head in dismay).
Eventually, the PCs came upon a larger cave containing a hive in the center. More possessed humanoids with yellow glowing eyes were here, bringing handfuls of crystals to the Queen. Several wasp-men were guarding the hive. Commie-Tinker went in to see what all the fuss was about. He succeeded his saving throw, but appreciated the top-down proletariat workers-uniting under the Queen. One well-placed fireball later and only the Queen survived, and she was half-burned at that. Taking her prisoner.
Wandering around in an easternly direction, they overheard that Gallifreyan saying something and then letting out a scream. Off to investigate, they found him at the entrance to Rassilon's Vault, but a smoking skeleton - his Gallifrey Cardinal Violet robes still intact, though. Thurberus donned the fancy robes - not magic, not high-tech, but of another quality... gravitas, sacrosanct, and legendary.
The PCs tried their luck at opening the vault. Thurberus, feeling lucky, rolled some dice and eventually opened it - technically on his first try, but only after getting a reroll via burning a point of Divine Favor.
Inside was the magnificent bejeweled codpiece of Rassilon. Thurberus someone found himself its owner and wore it proudly. The inside of the vault was scrawled with Gallifreyan glyphs. No one could read them, but one of Vorusa's friends, Kastilan, happened by. He deciphered them, basically going on and on about the greatness of Rassilon, the Time Lords, and how many people wanted to eat his giblets with a nice worm wine.
The codpiece assisted the wearer while using dimensional magic or simply traveling via portal... including time and space.
Trapping poor Kastilan in the vault, but not before Thurberus wrote a note below the pedestal telling everyone that he had been there, they headed into a long and winding tunnel that was trapped. Both Bandersnatch and Thurberus were zapped by some ray of energy that turned them into glass. At this stage, the glass was somewhat malleable. Bandersnatch had been putting those crystals into his bag of holding, and withdrew another one to quickly cast wish in order to unglass them. Oh yeah, one of the lizardfolk was also glass.
He rolled on the d100 table, and got a result that conjured an arcade game similar to Gauntlet that took tokens, specifically Aladdin's Castle tokens. And it just so happened that two tokens appeared in Bandersnatch's glass hand. He and Thurberus deposited them in the coin slot and, just before cracking from the pressure and exploding into fragmented shards, became different characters - a female barbarian for Bander and elf wizard for Thurberus - best of all, they were no longer made of glass. A third token was easily discovered in Bander's pocket, meant for the lizardman who was also turned to glass. The sorcerer put the third token in and the glass lizard dude became a tech-noir thief, quite an upgrade from spear-toting savage.
Exiting the tunnel for another cave, the PCs found two black and white checkerboard skinned humanoids playing 17-dimensional chess. The winner would take possession of a photon torpedo. They watched for a bit, as Tinker signed-up for the next game. If Tinker lost, he'd give up Thurberus' newly acquired codpiece. He had to play the loser and then if Tinker won, he'd play the winner. It was a long game, but Tinker won. Then, he played and won the second game.
Garblegax appeared again, warning that the blue-raspberry bastards were on their way, so prepare! Bander and Thurberus asked Garblegax if he could change them back to their original forms. He could and he did. Realizing the power this demon-imp had, the PCs requested him to stay and fight alongside. Thurberus gave the demon-imp his bejeweled codpiece of Rassilon in exchange for staying with them and helping the PCs repel their namesake's attack. They formulated a plan.
The blue-raspberry bastards, led by tangerine Isithar appeared. The blue-raspberry Francis appeared directly behind his double in an attempt to slit his throat. Luckily, Black Francis dodged. Isithar was ready with a disintegrator beam, but missed. Instead, accidentally hitting blue-raspberry Francis who made his save and was simply wounded.
Moments later, Bandersnatch tried to pull out a crystal from his Fruit Loops bag of holding. He rolled as I'd instructed him to do every time he tried to pull out a deposited object. This time, he didn't pull out a crystal but a banana. Oh shit!
Thinking fast, the party's sorcerer opened a portal to the purple labyrinth. The PCs escaped (I made the stragglers roll to not be left behind - everyone passed). Even a single lizardman made it, but not the wasp Queen. Away they went, and closed the portal in time for the blast which H'ork set for 5 seconds upon the blue-raspberries appearance.
Inspecting the rubble back in that cave, everyone was dead and accounted for - except for blue-raspberry Tinker. He's small, so it's possible that they just couldn't find his body - or he somehow made it out of there. As for their gear, it was all smashed to bits, except for a transparent crystalline segment of the key to time and space. Taking it with them, they continued on...
And that's where we left things. Next game is Saturday, September 13th... and then not again until October 4th as I'll be losing a couple of Saturdays due to a vacation over our anniversary.
Based on our conversation prior to the session, I'm going to put "skunk ghost" on the next wandering monster table.
Thanks for reading,
VS
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