Monday, February 6, 2023

Crystals of Chaos (session report #3, part 2)

 

Ok, part 1 is over here.  So much happened this session that I just thought it would easier to digest events in two separate blog posts.

Realizing the need to get the fuck out of there before something else occurred, the party left.  As a GM, I believe it's important not to rush the players.  Yes, move things along.  Yes, keep the flow going and give them prompts when needed.  But the decision to stay, leave, hang-out, do this or that is ultimately up to them, not the GM.

BTW, I rewarded the halfling thief with a point of Divine Favor for coming up with the idea to snort a line of undoubtedly evil ashes from a black urn, and being brave enough to execute it, and roleplaying it out.

They arrived at the city of A'agrybah easily enough.  However, they saw a massive banana sitting a mere stone's throw away from the city's golden gates.  I started out by describing the banana's size as gargantuan, but didn't specify any unit of measurement.  It was amusing to learn just how big the players imagined the banana to be before specifying its size.  One player asked if it was as big as a school bus, I think another assumed it was as large as a compact car.  I chuckled to myself while announcing it was so big that standing next to it was like having the suns blotted out.

The banana was a mile long.  So, impossibly big.  They asked a few more questions like if it was already peeled (it wasn't) or normal yellow (it was), then proceeded to ask nearby citizens what the Hell was going on?  The people of A'agrybah explained that it showed up earlier that day, just appearing as if by magic.  No one had more information than that.

The PCs made a b-line for Dookal's tent where they had planned to meet after securing the black demon sword.  Unexpectedly, Dookal wasn't there.  In his place was a new guy.  However, Dookal had left a letter for the adventurers, assuming they'd return before the merchant got back.

I read it aloud to the table, but will summarize here.  Dookal realized something was afoot upon selling that enormous ka'alaxian crystal to his buyer, A'ava'ask, and fled to Kra'adumek.  He warned about a banana, as well.

The PCs immediately wanted to head for the city formally famous for being ruled by a gigantic violet demon-worm.  However, I reminded them that they'd been traveling all day and it was approximately 11pm.  They should really get some sleep before continuing on.  This is another consideration I think it's important for GMs to remember.  Every once in awhile, without being intrusive, remind the players that their characters are wide awake, tired, hungry, horny, hot, cold, have cabin fever... whatever!

So, they went back to the temple of Varantha.  Everyone was asleep, except for Karl who was playing with his action figures in bed... with some kind of larva slime as lubricant.  Princess Leia was especially slimy.  A gnome tucked everyone into bed.

Upon waking, the door to Varantha's throne / audience room was barred and a couple gnomes were standing guard.  Her exquisiteness was "entertaining."  Heighten Chancery Philthrop III noticed a gnome entering a secret door down the hall.  He followed and saw there was a long, narrow galley or gallery running alongside the room where Varantha could usually be found.  And there were peep-holes.  

Without going into detail (you just had to be there, hoss), the halfling thief ended up butchering the gnome only to discover that he was not organic, but clockwork!  WTF?

After Varantha had finished with her guest, she showed off a pretty pink ring she'd just been given and mentioned her rivalry with Lady Ska'ai from Kra'adumek (including the noblewoman's magical chartreuse ring).  She put the ring on as the PCs warned her about the legend of an evil sorcerer named Sauron, clearly got possessed (saying that she would now take her rightful place as the King's love-slave), and the PCs tackled her and cut her finger off that wore the cursed ring.

Upon waking up to what had happened, Varantha bade the PCs take revenge upon her recent suitor (later revealed to be a humanoid named Maz aka the King's dick).  Robard the Red decided to release the demon Za'alkalek to help them find the dude who had just left the temple 20 to 30 minutes ago.

Requiring a pair of Varantha's used panties, the demon sniffed the humanoid out.  Finding him enjoying a post-coital drink at the Chartreuse Dragon Cantina.  Quickly dispatched by Crandal, Jackal, or both, everyone else in the cantina went about their business.  I believe Za'alkalek was allowed to suck the King's dick's soul, as well.  I hadn't planned for that, but thought... sure, why not?

Next, the PCs beeped Sa'ab to transport them to Kra'adumek.  Karl wanted to come, too.  He was anxious to see if his black van was still there in the desert.  

It wasn't.  Only the tires remained.  But there were footsteps in the sand.  I rolled a 2 in 6 chance to see if the tracks were single file to hide their number, after a player made a Tusken Raider reference.  Turns out, that's exactly what they did.  Haha.  

They followed the tracks in Sa'ab's beat-up sand-speeder.  It led to a ruined stone temple.  The party's sorcerer made Zagreus invisible so he could sneak in there and see what was up.  A single cultist stood guard over a circular metallic hatch in the temple's floor.

The upshot was that a cult of at least a dozen humanoids was down there worshiping some kind of statue of a demon or Old One.  The invisible dwarven thief started talking which freaked the cultists out, he stole a gemstone from the statue, got out of there, and locked the hatch.  The PCs decided to come back and open it back up on the way back to A'agrybah, hoping the cultists would turn to cannibalism by then.

Either Karl or Sa'ab new of a somewhat hidden temple stronghold beneath the city of Kra'adumek, so the PCs went that way.  They encountered a weird purple ooze thing (Zagreus picked-up a magical bone dagger and bone sheath with amber jewel in the crosspiece), a violet fungus, and sorcerer who tried to fireball the party; however, Robard quickly pounced by casting dispel magic.  I wasn't 100% on using dispel magic to interrupt a spell already being cast, so I asked for a d20 roll to help determine the effectiveness.  

Robard's player rolled poorly, not even wanting to tell me the result as he quickly tumbled over a fuchsia stone which meant he was spending a point of Divine Favor.  The result of his reroll was a natural 20, so I described the NPC sorcerer self-immolated himself in a pillar of fire (PCs looted a magical ring of lesser shielding from the charcoal ex-sorcerer).

The session ended with the PCs killing a couple of priest guards before opening a door revealing some kind of High Priest torturing the beautiful, fuchsia-skinned Lady Ska'ai.

So, yeah... a lot happened this session.  I honestly don't know how GMs can run a 6+ hour game.  After 4, I'm pretty much wiped-out.  But it was an extremely satisfying segment of the Crystals of Chaos campaign, and there are plenty of threads to follow for the future.

Below are the amusing phrases uttered around the table...

  • "You ever smoke a wizard?"
  • "You need a King's dick for when his majesty is too busy to fuck."
  • We thought of several gnome names after a player asked who a particular gnome was and I was stumped for a few seconds... Gnomington, Gnome Chomsky, and Gnome Alaska.
  • "Task mistress"
  • "Trust in the Old Ones, but tie up your riding lizard."  [A reference to one of my favorite childhood movies - The Golden Voyage of Sinbad]
  • I can't remember exactly what was said, but after a couple minutes of discussion, the PCs decided to put the pink "love-slave" ring around Maz's or "the King's dick" dick and his balls on either side... in a decorative box, of course.  

Oh yeah, the PCs who completed two full sessions got to level-up before session #3 started.  So, Robard the Red and Jackal both went into this adventure at 4th level.  The sorcerer rolled 1 additional HP and the dwarf warrior rolled 7.

Feel free to ask questions, make suggestions, comment, etc.  Oh, and if you haven't already backed the Advanced Game Mastering Like A Fucking Boss kickstarter, please do.  And share it with your gaming friends!

Thanks,

VS

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