There was a time when sexuality and science fiction went hand in hand. A time when sci-fi masters like Robert A. Heinlein wrote about a future where nudity was in and chastity was out. Over the years, the genre has been neutered. Gone are the three-nippled alien hookers and in their place is a lot of techno-babble. ~
Giant Freakin Robot
Standing proudly with hands on hips, Shumachs Plib surveyed his new captain's chair upon his new starship while gazing upon the stars beyond, his validation boner displayed prominently...
Wait a minute, I skipped a whole bunch. Let me back up several hundred parsecs.
I've lost count how many times I've run Alpha Blue. Each one is not only a learning experience and a madcap free-for-all, it's also a testament to overcoming any sort of anxiety, guilt, shame, or embarrassment. I'll admit, the first couple times I ran my 70's sci-fi porn RPG, I was a wee bit nervous. Indeed, there was a modicum of insecurity mixed in with the excitement. However, playing it proved those fears unfounded. It was a glorious release.
But then, after the first few times I wondered if the game was doomed to reside amongst the one-shot novelty set. Would anyone (including myself) want to play Alpha Blue more than once? Twice?
Unless something came up, Nix has played in every single Alpha Blue game. Steve nearly that. This was Justin's second game and the first for Harold and Jeff. I'd be lying if there weren't a couple people that flat-out told me Alpha Blue was not the game for them. Hey, I don't blame them and appreciate their honesty. But that's not a reason for the rest of us to stop. After all, I have no interest in playing Pathfinder, though I don't care if others do.
Zaparon, human psion who has his own ship, wears a silver uniform with blue trim, and is bi-sexual, into abs and butts.
Epson is a cerulean blue robot, he's friendly and a masochist into cheerleaders and hair. He used to be a fax machine, but re-purposed to be a medic. He still receives faxes on occasion, reading them and throwing them away (unless it's something important).
Ha'chth is an alien who looks nearly human except for his dark amethyst skin tone. His uniform is tan suede and he's also a medic... and a zedi who plies The Way throughout the galaxy. He also had a thing for cheerleaders.
Shumachs Plib is a human interior designer who left his colony because when everyone is starving, interior design isn't the first thing on people's minds. Shu has latent psionic powers but pretends at being a fierce bounty hunter... with the emphasis on fierce.
There was no pilot in their crew, so they'd have to rely on autopilot exclusively. I don't remember who, but someone asked if it was possible to have sex with the ship's autopilot program. I answered yes, even though at the time I had absolutely no idea how that would work.
I won't go too deep into the scenario's heart, except to say that the spacers were hired by a man whose daughter, Vanessa, (in her early 20's) was taken from Alpha Blue. To better connect, visualize, and identify with their mission, I provided a picture of Rose Byrne as a blonde cheerleader. Yowza!
Along the way, exotic cocktails were ordered, such as the exploding star lemon-lime space gin surprise.
The Tiny Dancer infiltrator starship cleverly avoided a ship-to-ship battle with the Sunfish thanks to Epson's mechanical interface. Tiny Dancer docked while the Sunfish's computer dealt with Epson's virus distraction.
The PCs boarded and shot up nearly all the male crew. The two females were unharmed. The first was working out in the gym. Ha'chth was immediately attracted to her and started working his extra-terrestrial mojo. The juicy details: a year ago, she participated in a 500-humanoid gangbang, Ha'chth and her did it standing up, and his "O" face is best described as "hurts so good". He got to add a d4 worth of temporary Health to his total.
They walked into Club Wet Star and immediately headed for the main stage where strippers were pole dancing. It wasn't long before Shu sensed Vanessa's presence. They made a B-line for the jacuzzi/bedroom area of the club and Ha'chth forced Wet Star's madame to show him where Vanessa was being kept.
Faygos' thugs attacked everyone who wasn't purple balls deep in Vanessa. After a few scrapes, the PCs dispatched the thugs. Ha'chth and his latest conquest joined the others and they all made for the door. Unfortunately, Faygos was waiting for them!
The space warlord was accompanied by 4 more thugs. This was a pitched battle. Both sides took substantial hits. At last, it was only the PCs vs. Faygos. He brought out a strange device that lowered the gravity considerably - allowing me to use my sparkly blue and pink circle of slick. Dice rolled off the circle frequently. The robot rolled a critical failure - I think it was Jeff that suggested a fax came in just as Epson was firing - he did minor damage to one of his comrades. Faygos did some serious damage, forcing one of the medics to stop attacking and heal while a couple of the PCs took random bodies as meat shields.
Faygos was eventually killed. The crew flew both Tiny Dancer and Sunfish back to Alpha Blue, selling their original, smaller ship to pay off one of Cassidy's loans. The rest of the money was spent on fitting a hot tub in the Sunfish and a huge celebratory blow-out. It was quite the party.
There, ensconced in corinthian leather stood Shumachs Plib. Once an interior designer and wannabe bounty hunter who didn't know exactly how to shoot his vortex equalizer... now, he was captain of an impressive military vessel - that had its own transparent aluminum hot tub. Everyone could see his validation boner, but no one cared. They had their own primitive urges to concern them. And the most pressing of queries... is there such a thing as a mermaid cheerleader?
Girls Gone Rogue.
There's still a week left to back the Kickstarter. The maps are FREE. Anyone can use them for non-commercial uses. Because I'm confident we'll reach the next stretch goal, I had Glynn Seal of +MonkeyBlood Design design the Chihuahua class starship, Tiny Dancer, for use in today's game. That dropbox link will be released when the KS reaches $3,500. So close!
Thanks for reading. Please share this experiment in sci-fi and sleaze with others!