Hardcover CHA'ALT Sale!!!

 

I'm updating the look of my game room with some new paintings I've been working on.  It's been ages since I've painted anything, and it feels pretty good.

The upshot - I'm trying to get rid of those ever-present boxes of hardcover Cha'alt books.  So, here's a sale (domestic shipping only - if you live outside the USA, email me for a special quote)...

 

• If you want the original Cha'alt hardcover, signed and numbered by yours truly, it's $25 + $5 shipping / handling.
• If you want the 2nd book, Cha'alt: Fuchsia Malaise, in hardcover, signed and numbered, it's $30 + $5 shipping / handling.
• If you want the 3rd book, Cha'alt: Chartreuse Shadows, it's $40 + $5 shipping / handling. 
• If you want all three - the entire Cha'alt hardcover trilogy will only set you back $100 (shipping / handling included).

The PDFs are included.  So, if you don't already have those, just send me your DTRPG email address after purchasing.  Speaking of which, send money via paypal to Venger.Satanis@yahoo.com

Anyone not know what Cha'alt is by now?  Cha'alt is my eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalypse, humor, sleaze, pop-culture, exploitation grindhouse campaign setting.  It's got everything you'd want in that kind of book - the works!

Don't believe me?  Here's the RPG Pundit sharing his thoughts on the matter (he just released his own parody setting supplement called Ch'o'rt, FYI).

Thanks for helping me out, hoss!  While you're here, take a look at some of the new paintings in the game room, where the Cha'alt magic happens.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July.  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!

"Long Day's Journey Into Night" - CHA'ALT Campaign 3.4

 

Bandits to the left of me, bandits to the right... stuck in a purple worm corpse with you!

That should be a song... somewhere, maybe in Cha'alt where yesterday's adventures took place.  I did what I said I was going to do as per this blog post.  I spoke the Cha'alt campaign invocations.  Definitely felt weird the first time, but I assume as I keep saying it and saying it and saying it, the unfamiliarity will soon wear off and what's left behind shall be nothing but pure, uncut vibe.

It's the 4th session, so 4 was the number of the day, and anyone who rolled a 4 got a success or critical-success, depending on the circumstances. 

The club-hopping, honorary Florida man, pick-up artist player was still in Miami or some such place, so we soldiered on without him.  4 players.  H'ork, Bandersnatch, Therberus, and Tinker.  Let's get weird!

H'ork was awoken from his session-long slumber by the emphatic ravings of a madman - "It's penis water!  Worm wine is made out of penis water... it's worm pee!  A'arrrggh!"

Flash-forward to a mildly disturbing dream they all had...

"You're in a dark cave, the odor of death and decay surrounding the rough stone walls - crystals embedded, softly glowing, magenta, lavender, orange, periwinkle, and chartreuse.  Many glyphs are also written upon the wall of rock and sediment and veins of luminous quartz, but you can't make out any of the words, except for one central, one primal glyph.  What is that glyph  What does it mean?"

At that point, I showed them the Cha'alt invocation glyph and prompted each player to give me an answer on what they believed the singular glyph to mean.  H'ork said "worm anus."  Bandersnatch said "servitude."  Thurberus said "an advertisement for worm wine."  And Tinker believed it symbolized a chalice or cup.

"An infernal whisper makes you turn around.  The almost human face of Cholak is rotting away from his skull.  He laughs and then reaches into your chest, pulling out a fuchsia unicorn made of shiny wrapping-paper.  Suddenly, you find yourself in the middle of a party - people you don't know are attempting to grasp your hand but you aren't letting them.  Why?  Why aren't you allowing them to take your hand?"

Another prompt to each one of them.  H'ork said he was anti-social.  Bandersnatch simply said "not clean," when someone asked if it was hands or people, he said "both."  Thurberus said "no hands."  Tinker said he needed his hands for picking pockets.  Continuing on...

"From across the room, Bea Arthur [another dream-laden Golden Girls reference] gazes at you with [at this point I had all of them roll a d4 with my random table at the ready - H'ork got "longing," and the other three got "contempt."].  Raising her eyebrow as all those people turn into eyeballs - staring at you.  From a nearby door, a swarthy native of Cha'alt screams, "Not the ja'am-gabbar... anything but that!"

I told the adventurers that they awoke on the floor of Julian's wine bar, hair matted with worm piss.  A'ahhh, the good life.  The early morning air was cool and refreshing.  It won't be long before it's hot as balls again.

Before leaving, Thurberus left a note thanking Julian for the good time... but found a note left for the entire adventuring party.  It was a Dear John or Dear Crimson Bastards letter written by Sass.  She'd grown tired of exploring dark and dangerous places with a bunch of scruffy nerf-herders.  Instead, she's decided to shack-up with Alkameed who clerks at the curio shop At Your Mercy in the merchant district.  One NPC down, the PCs continued on.

The PCs had a few different options open to them, but they all decided to finish their Federation Occupied A'agrybah business before treking to the Temple of Unimagined Horrors via the purple worm corpse.  Walking to the Blue Banana cantina, they passed a couple of Federation soldiers who called them Cha'alt scum.  Keeping discretion, the Crimson Bastards let that one go.  

They checked-out the cantina, which was more like a tiki bar that served blue banana daiquiris - made with real blue banana ketchup (that came about because I mimed (with sound-effects) the blue velvet elf making a drink and the sound I made suggested that of a ketchup bottle being squeezed.  

Speaking of which, there's a slight but generally unnoticed difference between blue suede elves and blue velvet elves that only they're aware of.  To everyone else, they just look the same.  

Questioning the bartender, Kreed, he didn't seem of much help in locating Captain Neevo.  However, Tinker got a sense that he was hiding something or aligned with the Federation, so they stayed to have a couple drinks to see what would happen.  After awhile, a blood-elf, tough looking with plenty of scars, walked in, talked to Kreed in hushed tones, pointing at the PCs, and then the blood-elf went down a hallway towards the back of the cantina.

The PCs followed.  At the end of the hallway was a door ajar, but on the way, there were restroom doors, too.  They checked both.  In the mens, Ace Ventura (or a humanoid who looked just like him) did the whole "Whew, do not go in there!"

They found a darkened stairway going down.  Tinker flew down there first to see what was going on.  He saw the dude who just went down, Vargzini, 2 thugs, and Neevo tied to a chair.  Vargzini had a blaster pointed at the Captain's head and wanted that password to the S.S. Motherfucker, or else he was going to kill Neevo and the PCs upstairs.  Since Neevo believed this was his last chance, he blurted out the ship's password "Blushing Anal Captives, part 7 - all one word; all caps."

The PCs immediately attacked.  Tinker back-stabbed, Bandersnatch put the thugs and Captain Neevo to sleep, and Thurberus and H'ork blasted their way to victory.  Untying Neevo, he agreed to pay them double for the crystals (2,000 credits each) in exchange for also saving his life.  Neevo picked-up a blue VIP badge that he flashed when they got to the starport.  The Federation security forces gave them a wide berth, and they got back to the ship to finish their business.  Neevo also gave the PCs a communicator to get in contact with him if they should ever have the need.  Oh, and Tinker bought that blue VIP pass for 400 credits.  Money well spent, probably, we'll see...

There was a funny and meaningful exchange between the Blue Banana bartender and the PCs on their way out.  Basically, the Crimson Bastards are taking over from Vargzini.  The good news: they get to keep the profit and whatever shady business practices he was dealing in.  The bad news: taxes are due tomorrow and they're almost out of blue banana ketchup.  Of course, as soon as that deal was cemented, Tinker turns around and gifts the cantina to Julian - in exchange for a 10% kickback and available resources... should they become necessary.

After learning the Federation has banned high-tech transport, the PCs realize they could use Tinker's newly acquired worm pendant to transform himself into a worm so the other adventurers could ride him all the way to the purple worm corpse.  But it wasn't long before a couple of the PCs noticed a worm caravan following at a discrete distance behind.  And the other two [who rolled 1s] saw a mirage of an oasis and the Swedish bikini team playing by the water.  

When it got late enough, the PCs decided to stop and make camp, as did the caravan behind them.  The party's sorcerer (along with Thurberus) went invisible and flew back to see what the other group was doing.  Lo and behold, these black-clad desperadoes were applying poison to their daggers and then heading over, on foot, to the PCs' campsite.  

Leaving a trap - they placed a thermal detonator in a pile of sleeping blankets, setting it to trigger when the assassins stabbed at them.  It worked, killing 4 of the 7 and wounding 2 others.  Since the PCs got the drop on them, it was easy work mopping up the rest.  They left one on the brink of death so they could find out who these guys were and why they wanted to kill them.  

The final assassin said he was sent by Na'azir, and that he belonged to The Blades of Na'azir, a mercenary / assassin guild located in A'agrybah.  And any other information the PCs wanted to know could probably be found in a letter within the scroll tube in his robes...

"Borusk - Favor this unworthy servant of Hell's malignant heart - our Devil-God Kort'thalis, by stealing the Nyazian scroll and murdering the infidel worm sludge who work for that detestable thorn in our master's side, namely Cholak.  Once your tasks are completed, find me in the basement of the Blue Banana.  Oh, and destroy this parchment after you've read it - don't be a fool like your predecessor.  - Na'azir"

Stealing the assassins' worm caravan, they made out for the purple worm corpse in the morning.  The rest of the night was uneventful.  

It was nearly mid-day when the PCs could see the purple worm corpse and just beyond it, a barrier of some kind - almost like a fence bisecting the desert.  Wandering nomads walked the S'kbah wastes, so the PCs questioned one of them.

These nomads were here to keep the jiha'ad from spilling out past the barrier - rows of humanoids impaled upon petrified thin-worms.  Beyond the barrier was a city-state called Ka'alestine where anyone who did not conform to the strictest obedience to their particular religion was put to death, and better to be killed outright than suffer the ja'am-gabbar!

To their dismay, the PCs discovered that the Temple of Unimagined Horrors was positioned beyond the Ka'alestinian border of impaled victims.  Deciding to worry about that later, they went into the mouth of the purple worm corpse.  Only a few encounters in, I realized it might be a good idea to pepper the gonzo fun-house "dungeon" with some normal or pedestrian encounters rather than keep going with unrelenting weird shit.  So, there was a good mix of combat with human bandits along with stumbling upon a lodged pink organic starship, a dying alien with dream-crystals, a popsicle diorama of the Deathstar playset with variety of action figures, etc.

I won't go into too much detail about those things because I'm using my latest PDF (and it's free) over at the Red Room to come up with "worm stuff" for Cha'alt - Advanced Random Tables - Worm Interior.  Suffice it to say, things got strange.  

A couple times during the session, Thurberus activated his golden disco lumination orb to light their surroundings.  Both times, I played this on my phone. 

We ended with the adventurers attempting to place the dream-crystals upon a chunk of cyclopean masonry, and what that would yield - which gives me plenty of time to come up with something.  

If the PCs get any downtime, Bandersnatch is already focused on learning more about the purple labyrinth - after reading the book he acquired a session or two ago, as well as, experimenting with a portal he found.

The players liked the intro / outro.  That's good because I'm going to keep at it, saying it before and after every Cha'alt session... even Roll20 one-shots.  Mention was made of putting the invocations to music (I think that was suggested in the original video that kicked-off this low-key obsession), so that'll be applied next time.  Perhaps, something like that?

One more thing, Thurberus' player brought a Star Wars-esque retro-future cape-poncho that he fucking sewed himself!  He gets 2 points of Divine Favor, and everyone else gets 1.

Before I forget, during one of the combats, H'ork rolled an 18, since he's a 2nd level warrior, that means the adjusted roll would be 20 - an unnatural 20!  As per the optional rule recently introduced in Primordial Chaos: Gonzo Like A Fucking Boss, if a player does something that breaks the 4th wall, that unnatural 20 counts as a critical-success.  H'ork tried to come up with something, I think it was humming a familiar tune... I must admit, I forgot.  But when I asked if anyone else wanted to make a contribution, Thurberus said it's a good thing they're not Stormtroopers, otherwise, they'd never hit anything.

A bit later, Thurberus rolled a 19 in combat and I told him if he did the tentacle motion while saying "By His loathsome tentacles" to get him to 20, and then came up with another 4th wall break, he'd get a critical.  After giving it a half-second thought, he decided nah, too much trouble.  Lol.  It's good to know where the line is.  Of course, different circumstances change the math.

What's good this session, as in, quotable...

• "Reamed and loving it!"
• "Feel free to use the restroom sink to take a Cha'altian shower."
• "Wait... did you guys leave a mess for me to clean up downstairs?"
• "While you're out, remember to grab some blue banana ketchup on your way back.  We're almost out."
• Worm-shit is flameable, so if you're camping with a worm, you can always burn its feces. 
• "He needs some comfort."  Someone else: "Oh, the comfort you'll find at the end of a Cha'alt blade."
• "Blood flows downhill."
• "Sandworms are people, too."
• "The best little lemonade stand in Cha'alt."
• "Yeah, let's sell worm piss by the side of the road."
• "It's a fine line between martyr and murder." - That's one of my favorites!

Thanks for tuning-in, hoss!  Hope you were suitably entertained.  Next session is scheduled for Saturday, March 8th.  Until we meet again...

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  here's how!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July.  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!

CHA'ALT Invocations

 

If anyone's curious about the video that got me thinking about opening monologs, session introductions, and Game Mastering rituals, it's this one.  

Also, reading Prince of Nothing's review of Jobe Bittman's The Book of Antithesis also played a minor role - the combination of fantasy roleplaying and occult practices were simply too enticing!

With that out of the way, what are we talking about here?  Well, a way to enter the gaming space of our collective imaginations that we all share.  Something that gets us in the mood to play, signaling to everyone that we're starting.  It's a process of getting worked up, jazzed, excited to do this, like when I open my videos with "Surprise, Motherfucker!"  

If done correctly, it should aid both the GM and his players.  With Gary Con fast approaching, I wanted to give it a try.  So, I spent a considerable chunk of yesterday morning coming up with an opening.  And then, knowing me, I realized I would eventually want to do a proper closing ceremony as well... yes, like a real occult ritual or a spell in the game we're playing!

CHA'ALT Invocation:  Opening The Way

In a world of fuchsia skies, pulp-drenched cities, and irradiated desert wastelands, precious few have the zoth to survive Cha'alt and all her vintage demon laser sleaze.  By His loathsome tentacles, I give you... the skinematic Vengerverse!

CHA'ALT Invocation:  Closing The Gate

As it was prophesied, the Dark Gods play their games of chance and mortal beings pay that price.  The Primordial Chaos glistens, reverberates, and crawls... strange and eternal; as it shall forever be.  So it is done!

______________

I will let y'all know how it goes in a couple days as I'll be trying it out in my Cha'alt campaign on Saturday.  That will be the first test, so I'm hopeful it'll illuminate the session with sorcerous fire.

Have any of you done something like this?  If so, I'd like to hear about it.  Also, I encourage others to give this a try, irrespective if you're running Cha'alt or anything inspired by it.  But create your own, of course.  Something that inspires you, as well as, giving players a feel for what's in store.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  here's how!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July.  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!

"Lost In Translation" - CHA'ALT Campaign 3.3

 

I'll start out by saying we almost didn't play this weekend.  One player was on a pick-up artist pub crawl sojourn in Florida, another was terribly sick.  A third had been traveling for work and needed to spend time with his wife before leaving again.  

I suggested shortening the game to 3 hours so at least then he'd have time to go out to dinner with his wife or something.  He could hear the desperation in my text and took pity on this poor, beleaguered Game Master.  With 3 players (and no warrior in sight), we continued season three of the magnificent Cha'alt campaign.

Bandersnatch the blue-suede elf sorcerer (bard-guitarist), Thurberus the v'smm priest, and Tinker the pixie-fairy thief.  Their tour shuttle was just pulling into the golden gates of Federation Occupied A'agrybah when Bandersnatch and Tinker - but later we discovered that it was Thurberus, as well (the ones who partook of last session's Blessing of Kort'thalis) were awoken by the same dream...

They were walking down the street and passed a smiling man who held a bag of coins in his hand.  As the man went by, the adventurers turned and stabbed him in the back.  Blood poured from his wound and the PCs' mouths as they woke up to find themselves opening a door that led to a kitchen.

Sitting at that kitchen table were three mature women known as the Golden Girls... Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose.

Dorothy: "Well, who's this tall drink of nothing?"

Blanche: "I don't know, he's kind of cute for a grizzled, ruthless, cold-hearted adventurer."

Rose: "How can you tell he's grizzled?"

Dorothy: "See those muddy boots, cuts and scrapes all over his hands and face?  He's grizzled.  Let's move on."

Blanche: "Oh, Mr. Adventurer, sir... why don't you come over here and explore my love tunnel?"

Sophia [from the bedroom]: "Is the doctor here?  If he is, send him in - I'm already bent over for my hemorrhoid inspection!"

Then, the PCs woke up again - realizing they'd been asleep on the journey back from the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice.  Botsterdomus saw a flyer for droid jousting and jumped out the shuttle window.  As everyone disembarked (except H'ork, he never woke up and must have slept through a few more tours), they noticed a riot.

The PCs had a choice of pushing-through the wall of Federation soldiers and Cha'alt natives pushing back or going around the edge of the city to avoid them.  They went through.  Bandersnach was grazed with a laser blast, Thurberus got knifed, and Tinker was handed an ornately carved sandworm tooth - the eldritch glyphs were a prayer to Yog-Soggoth.  Before leaving, the elf who handed the tooth to Tinker showed his explosive belt beneath his robes.

What was the riot about?  Thanks to a protest sign that read "Stop inserting our dinner up your Federation ass!" and questioning rioters, the PCs learned that a Cha'alt insect known as the quicidia are a local delicacy, but the Federation uses them as a pleasurable anal suppository (thus, putting those insects on an endangered species list so the natives can't eat them).  Apparently, the skittering skills the quicidia learn in the wild are what Federation elite prefer, which is why they can't simply farm the insects on a space station.

Before going any farther, I'll just say that there was a lot of running around this session.  Whole lot of footwork, social interaction, and exploration, very little carnage.  So it goes...

The PCs made their way to the starport at the center of Federation Occupied A'agrybah because they needed to get paid before they could buy stuff at the other locations of interest.  Security was tight due to all the civil unrest in the city.  A dozen soldiers were scanning folks, going through baggage.  Anyone with a Cha'alt native neck tattoo was barred from entering the docking bay.

What to do?  Tinker, being only 6-inches tall, flew up and into an open window to make his way to the S.S. Motherfucker where he found a freaked-out Jay-vax.  Captain Neevo never returned and the ship's computer was locked-down unless they had a retina scan or password.  Neevo's personal computer was in his quarters, so Jay-vax and Tinker checked his browsing history - pornhub, hub-porn, you porn, porn rub, XXX-tube, Venger's lounge, vintage orgies with massive boobs and hairy snatch, along with directions to and menu options for a cantina located downtown called The Blue Banana.

Jay-vax needed to stay with the ship; he implored the adventurers to find Captain Neevo and get him back to the Motherfucker before it was too late.  Before leaving, the racoonoid gave Tinker 500 credits in walking around money, hoping that would be enough to get them in and out of trouble at the Blue Banana.

The PCs added that to their lengthy to-do list and headed to the merchant and red silk districts which were right next to each other.  Walking through streets and back alleys, they happened upon a couple of street scum abusing an orange colored worm the size of a loveseat.  The ruffians were slapping this "porch worm" around, trying to fill an empty bottle with worm wine from his neck penis.

The PCs interjected and when they were threatened by one of the scum, Thurberus blew him away with his blaster, and the other ran.  Bandersnatch used his language spell to communicate with the worm.  Apparently, his name was Clyde and he belonged to a winemaker named Julian.  Soon after, Julian found them all and invited the PCs back to his winery in the back of Julian's wine bar.

They saw a half-dozen couch-sized worms watching porn (it relaxes them) until they got the urge to pee.  Holding their neck fat at bay, Julian moved a wine bottle to the tip of one's neck penis in order to fill it with delicious and refreshing worm wine.  The PCs had just drank some with a loathsome lavender hue and the refreshing bouquet of a chilled spice-peach liqueur.  They talked a little business, possibly one day becoming off-world distributors for Julian's fancy piss - straight outta A'agrybah.  Then, departed - but not before hearing the legend of how the ancients knew a secret distillation process for making the best worm wine in the known universe.

The PCs went to Reznik's burned-out Radio Shack and got some cybernetic enhancements in exchange for all the 8-track cassette discs of porn and exploitation films they found last session.  Thurberus got a lightning hand.  Tinker got a cyclops-visor for seeing through walls and wrist-lasers.  And they all took an artificial skin-graft with them in order to hide their tattoos, if needed. 

Then, they journeyed a little ways to the curio shop where that scroll the demon lord wanted was housed - At Your Mercy.  Walking into the shop (except for Tinker as his demonic dark passenger was kept out by the shop's wards against infernal beings and magic), the owner's nephew Alkameed asked them what they needed.

When they told Alkameed they wanted the Nyazian scroll (among other scrolls so as not to be overly suspicious), the shop clerk told them his uncle Indiana would only allow it to be sold in aid of scholarly pursuits or if it were kept in a museum ("It belongs in a museum," his uncle would often say).

Assuring Alkameed that the Nyazian scroll would be displayed in a museum, he sold it to them - but not before a serious price reduction owing to Sass taking the young man in the back and showing him a good time.  By the time they finished, the others had found a few other things to buy... the glass eye of a reptilian war-chief, an illumination orb that glowed glittering gold like a disco ball, and a book of dimensional magic with instructions on opening a portal to the purple labyrinth.

It was getting late, so they spent the night at Julian's wine bar.  But not before getting Uncle Indiana to ward Bandersnatch, Thurberus, and the travel tube containing the Nyazian scroll, saving them from being attacked by demons before they could send the scroll to the demon lord.  After waking, they headed over to the Cha'alt excursion tour shuttle and rode over to the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice again, finding the brush-covered cave that would lead them back to the demon lord Cholak.  The PCs forgot that there was a metallic door their former contact opened with a keycard.

I casually, but not too casually, slid the Cha'alt X-Cards over to Bandersnatch's player as they all wondered aloud how they were going to get through.  The sleaze card was stimulated and I decided that minutes later, a man wearing a black trench-coat appeared in that little cave, sure that this was the location of a sex party he'd been invited to.  Assuming that's why the adventurers were also there, he stepped up to the metal door, knocked, and when asked for the password said "Oooorrrrggyyy."

Everyone went through the opened door.  A weird pink slime was everywhere - all over the floor and stone walls.  They tracked this syrupy coating to that black devil mouth oozing a violet-magenta mist that crept along the ground.  The mist interacting with the moisture of the caves and tunnels created that strange pink substance.  Asking the orgy guy to go first, they had him wander into the devil's mouth.  When he didn't come back, they tied something around Tinker's waist and eased him through.

It was a portal to Quorta'ath.  Besides mounds of pink gelatinous slime, they saw a back temple or fortress in the distance and a tentacled pillar of purple and fuchsia darkness.  It moved towards the dude in black, eviscerating him.  Tinker saw that and quickly backed out.  Bandersnatch peaked his head in quick to confirm what was going on, then they all searched for Cholak's cave.  Sure enough, they found him sitting upon his throne of sewn corpses, his subhuman servants loped about, grunting with curiosity.

Cholak told them of the scroll's ultra-telluric glyphs (which Alkameed had already warned them about) - that they were impossible to translate, being so alien.  However, it was prophesied that ultra-telluric glyphs could be deciphered within the Temple of Unimagined Horrors located in the S'kwa'aves region of the S'kbah desert, an hour's travel southwest of the purple worm corpse.

"You may think this far too much effort simply to translate a 10,000 year old scroll, but I assure you, speaking the ultra-telluric glyphs written in zoth upon this parchment aloud - while performing the ritual of Ascension - will make me the master and ruler of Cha'alt."

So, Cholak effectively became their patron, as the adventurers agreed to help make the demon lord "President of Cha'alt."  The PCs remembered Cholak mentioning a further reward, and bequeathed to them 3 magical gifts... 

• To Tinker went a necklace of a worm fashioned out of purple jade.  Once per day, it allowed the wearer to transform himself into a giant worm.
• Thurberus was gifted a golden shield that gave Disadvantage to opponents attacking the shield-bearer.  
• The last was a turquoise helm that focused concentration and would supercharge a sorcerer's spellcasting.  

The PCs gladly accepted these gifts [man, it would be a real bummer if these magic items constantly nagged the PCs to stay on task and refused to work if they ever betrayed Cholak] and agreed to seek the translation in the Temple of Unimagined Horrors.  That's where we ended it.  Not bad for a 3-hour tour!

Since they'll encounter the purple worm corpse first, I imagine they'll explore that before the temple.  Lots of combat next session.  And one or two surprises, of course.  

I owe each of the PCs 3 points of Divine Favor (and Bandersnatch 4) for various activities and contributions throughout the session, so I'm leaving this here as a reminder.

Lots of laughs between the 4 of us.  The following were amusing and/or poignant phrases uttered around the table...

• "We'll be made dishonorary demons."
• "He's got management written all over him with infernal glyphs."
• "It was in last month's column of Places To Put Your Schlong in Dark Priest Monthly."
• "What is the air speed of an unladen sandworm?"
• "Julian wakes you up with a nice breakfast wine that tastes like cinnamon rolls."
• "The fraxel-meyer proposition."
• "We'll just wait awhile... see what happens." That not-exact-quotation from The Thing helps me remember a truism about Game Mastering.  Revelations come in their own time.  You can't force them.  Sometimes, you've just got to wait and see.
• "He who constipates an entire army, controls that army." We discussed putting those worms of Set up someone's bottom in order to control their bowel movements.
• "Anal dynamics... anal economics... anal analytics, and anal economic theory."
• "Why not start our own business - we'll be the first name in butts!" and "Butt Bugs R Us... another business plan for the Crimson Bastards."
• "I'd like to be the Secretary of Commerce," said Thurberus after finding out that Cholak will take over the world, and make the PCs his dukes, barons, etc.
• "Who am I to stand in the way of Federation elite and their butt bugs?"
• "Never look a gift worm in the mouth."

I hope you were suitably entertained.  FYI, just made Primordial Chaos: Gonzo Like A Fucking Boss 50% off on DTRPG.  If you have a question or comment, do your thing down below.  Next session is Saturday, February 22nd.  Looking forward to it!

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  here's how!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July.  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!