I know there are dozens of OSR folks who couldn't make it to VENGER CON III this weekend. But we appreciate your support and solidarity from afar!
Even though we can't game at the same table, we can still use the same random table.
This is a collaborate between Robert Vegvari and myself. I'm going to try and roll on this table multiple times per session - and so should you, hoss!
Is this how you get the delicious grape-flavored liqueur Purple Prizm?
Taking the "Zoth" Pilled d30 effects table by Robert Vegvari (this is for the purple-hued, mutant variant of zoth):
1-One of your
extremities becomes a purple stretchy/rubbery tentacle which you can control.
Roll 1d6 for which
one: 1-Left arm, 2-Right arm, 3-Left Leg, 4-Right Leg, 5-Your dick! / if you
are a woman, either your tongue, labia, clit, etc., or 6-Head.
2-Your skin hardens
like a candy shell turning a deep dark shade of purple, and gain 3 AC but you
your skin will melt of when water hits it (saving throw).
3-Your eyes turn
purple and you can see the extradimensional creatures from the movie "From
Beyond.”
4-When you need to
poop, you lay a yellow-green slimy egg instead. It will hatch into a "voracious
purple worm" and will grow to full size in 1d4 hours.
5-For 1d4 rounds,
the entire area immediately fills up with a purple liquid gelatin – quick
thinking or great lung capacity might be required to survive if it’s over 2
minutes.
6-You now know how
to play "Smoke on the water" from Deep Purple, the full song not just
the part almost anybody can play.
7-You find yourself
with the cartoon Beatles on the yellow submarine, only the submarine is purple
and floating inside some Lovecraftian alien creature.
8-For 1d20 minutes
you can dance really well if you want to.
9-Nothing happens
(However the DM should mess with you to make you think something happened). Make them roll one of each 7 types of dice +
the d30 and have them record all the numbers in order and then have them assign
a specific color for each result. Lol
10-You find yourself
in the body of the player who is playing you in the real world for 1d10
minutes.
11-You have the
irresistible urge to record a podcast, even if your character doesn’t know what
that is.
12-You fall
unconscious. As you awake you find yourself tied-up in a box wearing a gimp
suit; you hear muffled voices approaching.
13-You rapidly age, turning
into a skeleton "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" style and die.
Your spirit awakes at an arena concert for the band Styx as they play “Come
Sail Away.”
14-You become a
"Grape" Fruitie humanoid from the module "Descent into the Candy
Crypts" and you speak with some kind of a grape-tastic accent.
15-You split into
into two identical copies of yourself, including gear and what you are wearing.
The clone will accuse you of being a clone, but maybe you are the clone?
16-You moonwalk now,
better than any other living humanoid in the galaxy… except perhaps Captain EO.
17-A purple frog
appears. If no else is watching he will
sing the old song "Hello, My Baby!" and dance with a cane and top
hat. When anyone else looks he’ll revert into ordinary frog-mode, and no one
will believe you; recording counts as "someone viewing" and doesn’t
work. If you try to kill the frog he will multiply. Only way to kill it is to
throw it into the realm’s largest volcano.
18-Your tongue
becomes purple and forked permanently, you speak with excessive ssss’s.
19-Your non-dominant
hand transforms into a luger which can transform into a small robot. It needs
you so it can be shot in his gun form (3d6 damage), so it tolerates you until
you are no longer useful.
20-The purple mutant
zoth tastes like good hard liquor, making you [feel] invincible for 1d4 turns.
21-You develop a
mutation from the Encounter Critical random table (lasting about an hour).
22-You fall in a berserker
rage as the song "Murder Train" is audible from an unknown source,
and attack everyone until you or everyone else dies. For the next 3 rounds, you
attack with Advantage and do double the damage.
23-You turn into a
hot version of the opposite sex for the next hour.
24-You get visited by
cuddly bears who want to help you if good-aligned or attack you with rainbow
belly-ray if evil-aligned.
25-You become a Rubix
Cube. You will only change back if someone can solve you. If no one attempts to
solve the cube, Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott appear from nowhere with
encouragement such as “Dude” and “Sweet” until the puzzle is solved.
26-Your shadow
becomes purple… and demonic! This
infernal shadow is capable of strangling another humanoid’s shadow if they’re
alone (save or die).
27-Immediately after
drinking, 1d4 sexy purple-skinned succubae appear, trying to sexually entice
you to give up your soul in exchange for tantalizing carnal pleasures.
28-Roll on the TMNT
Palladium RPG table for insanity, you have that now permanently.
29-You know the
secret ingredients to KFC fried-chicken. From now on, Colonel Sanders from
different planes of existence will hunt you down from time to time.
30- You appear in Carcosa.
You have the C64 cassette version of the game "Crimson Dragon Slayer"
in one pocket and a giant purple dildo in your hand. Meanwhile, dinosaurs tower above you,
battling to the death!
Very cool and amusing!
ReplyDeleteI think I will refer to this and still keep the 1% chance of a male becoming the Ki'Wii-Zotch Ha'aderzoth. His name shall be a triggering word, sure to be declared hate speech.
The sleeper must awaken!
Delete