"The Ruin of A'agrybah" - CHA'ALT Campaign 4.12

 

While we didn't have all 5 players for the mid-season finale at this point in our 4-year Cha'alt campaign, we had almost that many.  If you are a math major, then your assumption is probably correct... we had 4 players (but not who you might have assumed).

Missing the human sorcerer Strum due to a family vacation, we had human priest Bishop Crane, The Neza'akul human thief, Ug the lizardtaur warrior, and Tinker the pixie-fairy thief / sorcerer.

After some leveling - oh, that reminds me - we got to try out the recent game mechanic I blogged about not too long ago.  Neza'akul had missed the last 3 sessions, I believe, so he was ripe for telling us what he'd been up to during that intervening time...

Scavenging through the big ship blockade; monologuing on the rocks, threating all who would oppose him into the fuchsia heavens, and hiring cantina prostitutes to act as his "henchmen," moving heavy rocks around and shitting into paper bags that would eventually be set on fire and thrown at enemies.  As was expected, one of his suggestions / contributions, that last one, got some creative juices flowing and we riffed on that idea, expanding it.  

So, that was definitely a success.  I proposed that Strum opened a portal for some unknown reason (perhaps, he can come up with the why, when he returns), walked into it... a few seconds later, Neza'akul walked back out, rejoining the party after he bullied a wizard into creating a portal from wherever he had been.

Neza'akul also picked up a new feat as he went from level two-and-a-half to four.  Browsing Cha'alt Ascended, he eventually chose being able to retrieve any non-magical thing from his bag, once per day.  I also reminded the table that Divine Favor can also be spent to get an additional go at a limited ability - just like that once a day pulling something useful from your pack.

Exploring, talking, and preparing to fully investigate this new system of caves and tunnels beneath and only a quarter-mile away from the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice, they eventually headed out.  Ug realized this would be the perfect place for a bed & breakfast, and so marked an X on the stone wall with his magical sword Orin.  Neza'akul took the lead, scouting around after picking up some pocket-sand for later use.

The human thief found a young woman using a silvery wand or baton with buttons on the side who was sucking all the energy from glowing crystals in the wall.  It appeared as though she was possessed.  After Ug directly confronted her as an official crystal inspector, she replied with a deep, male, and alien voice that he was the watcher of the pylon (yes, this idea was ripped right out of the 70s show Land of the Lost), and was gathering enough power to break free of his pylon prison.

The watcher also wanted to "see" Ug's magic sword after she had zapped the magical sheen from the lizardtaur's gourd.  Orin told his wielder absolutely not - "Don't unsheathe me until that crazy bitch is gone." 

Tinker cast sleep on her and then they tried putting her into the purple labyrinth (which broke the psychic connection), and when Neza'akul picked up the wand to fiddle with it, eventually putting all the crystal energy back where it originally came from, he was also possessed by the watcher.  So, they tried putting him and soon the wand in the purple labyrinth, as well.  That place cut off the connection, so they stashed the high-tech wand behind some purple drywall they smashed a hole through, and made their way to the nearby pylon.

On the way, I decided that this rather large cave was the perfect place to pick-out 3 suggestions from the Black Skull of Secrets!!!  While it's not the easiest thing in the world to shoehorn disparate ideas into an existing scenario, that's what improv is all about.  

So, the PCs saw a whole bunch of freezing mist on the ground, not realizing it was covering a gigantic in-ground bowl of cereal with strawberry milk [gag reflex], and various half-frozen fruities bobbing up and down along with soggy pillows of shredded wheat.  As the PCs were swimming, just trying to stay afloat, an equally giant hand came down, picked up Tinker and Neza'akul, and brought them into a mass of undulating tentacles that may or may not have been surrounding a gaping maw, ready to swallow them.  Tinker told whoever was about to eat them that he was friends with Iggy Azailia (meaning Igg-Yig Yatha'ak) and helped him out of a jam awhile back.  

This Great Old One paused his breakfast to psionically check-in with Igg-Yig Yatha'ak to make sure this pixie-fairy was telling the truth.  Sure enough, he was, and this Ancient One let them go, so they could swim to shore or fly out of the cereal bowl to safety.  Also, the PCs were cloned during this whole thing, and there's now a strawberry-milk set of PCs running around... perhaps in the strawberry-milk dimension?

Further down the tunnel, they saw the gold pylon.  Throwing ideas around like just leaving it, tipping the pylon into the strawberry milk (I must confess, I really liked the sound of that), or laying it face-down so no one could access the door, they eventually went with having the girl open the pylon door, throwing a thermal detonator, retrieved from Neza'athul's pack, and quickly closing it back up.  Dimensional ripples expanded the pylon's exterior for a second as black smoke soon poured out of the door cracks.  Opening it back up, they found the matrix table destroyed and glowing crystals scattered on the black floor.

Bishop Crane had been trying to feel if the watcher of the pylon was an infernal force.  It was not, but he did sense a large demonic presence elsewhere in this system of caves.  Shortly, the PCs' scout discovered a massive cavern containing a 100-demon army.  A shadow-demon general named K'xoksan was giving useful exposition, such as they were going to sacrifice the King of A'agrybah who was right there, hog-tied on top of a stone altar, and then this army of demons would reunite with Channa (who had recently married the King and was now eligible to perform her own Ascension ritual at the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice).

The party hatched a plan.  Crane was invisible to demons and had that scepter that could teleport a humanoid 30-feet.  Tinker addressed the demons after turning the shadow-demon general into a turkey, and then lassoing it, while dragging it back through the tunnel the PCs had just traversed.  The demons followed, many of them falling into the cereal bowl.  Meanwhile, the other PCs snuck out along with Crane and the King, as the priest also used the scepter to create a glyph of demon-warding to keep them at bay.

Unfortunately, this blocked the PCs from the secondary exit the demons were going to use to go back up to the surface.  But there were a few caves left to explore at the back-end of the system, so they continued to explore.  Suddenly, they heard the screech of a bald eagle as it swooped down, grabbed the turkey (dropping the infernal opal that K'xoksan had), and soared away... because America!  

Minutes later, they heard a feeble voice asking for help, and went to see what was the matter.  They found Karl, complete with tie-dyed shirt and wonky eye, laying on the cave floor, dying.  

"Dudes, you probably don't recognize me, but I'm your friend from another dimension... a parallel universe, man, it's like [weird gestures]... hard to explain and shit, you know?  Anyway, my name's Karl.  I'm too far gone, but need to tell y'all something.  In my timeline, we fought these bastards... all of them.  I witnessed the final battle in my home dimension."  

Dramatic pause as he waits for the PCs to ask what happened.  Tinker did just that, "Did we survive?"  Karl solemnly shakes his head in the negative.

"But this time, I've prepared for... you to have this."  He pulls what looks like a metal whistle from the front of his pants, as if he'd been keeping it in his underwear for a really long time.  "We're in the end-game, now..." as his voice trails off, Karl gets that far-away look in his wonky eye, letting the PCs know that he's dead.

I asked Grok to make Doctor Strange from the Infinity War movie saying that we're in the end-game, now, but replace Strange with Karl from Workaholics and Grok created a weird hybrid of the two characters... which I'm keeping and is now canon because sometimes A.I. knows best.  Lol

Not wanting to actually put their own lips onto the metal whistle, they devised a plan - put the whistle to Karl's lips, and then basically stomp on his stomach, forcing any last bit of air through his mouth.  Sure enough, that worked.  The whistle sounded.  

Meanwhile, they found another exit and met the fresh air of fuchsia sky and suns-blazing desert.  Just then, a psychedelic painted school bus pulled up with Lyssa and company (who had been waiting at the original entrance), the banana-men and other NPC servants and hirelings, along with the 17 demons that they captured, as directed by Crane a session or two ago.  The psychedelic bus was driven by a different Karl from yet another dimension, telling them to climb aboard - "We're going to the Crimson Rock of Sacrifice, ja'abronis!"

They reached the appointed place, but also saw that several armies were already waiting - the Kha'alestinians, the Federation, Channa and her personal demon and A'agrybah royal guards.  The PCs conceived of yet another plan (that seemed to be the theme of this session, no actual combat but lots of plan-hatching for dealing with overwhelming numbers of foes).  

Crane, being invisible to demons, went over to the Federation side, stood next to a hover-tank, and used his eldritch beam to blast the demon side, which made it seem like the Federation was firing on them.  So, they started attacking each other.  The demon side also opened an enormous portal that released a demonic creature the size of King Kong that the Kha'alestinians began to attack, and then everyone was slaughtering each other, leaving the adventurers a chance to help Lyssa perform her own Ascension ritual.  

This was also the time that the metal titan guarding the backside of the purple priest temple beneath Kra'adumek arrived.  It had been summoned by the metal whistle, and the PCs directed it to destroy whoever was left over, mopping-up the survivors.

Lyssa spoke the words and made the gestures as a portal of her own manifested and a Lovecraftian abomination exited and hovered above her.  The bastard-princess Lyssa told the PCs that she must consort with this entity to fulfill the prophecy.  

As that was going on, two silvery and shimmering humanoid beings appeared, one male and the other female, both idealized versions.  Time froze for everyone but the PCs as the shimmery man spoke...

"You have a choice - slit the bastard princess' throat and be assured that no apocalypse or cataclysm or planetary destruction will result... the Old Ones who are awake now will go back to sleep and the ones currently sleeping will continue to slumber long and peacefully.  However, this will assuredly result in the Federation taking over Cha'alt, turning it into just another colonized world raped of its precious resources."  

The shimmering silver female continued, "The other option is to allow Princess Lyssa to live.  The Great Old Ones will be rejuvenated.  This ritual would be like a shot in the tentacle for the Old Gods, and they will awaken faster and in greater number... potentially bringing about the ruination but also, with hope, prosperity to Cha'alt.  With the Great Old Ones at full strength, the Federation will be repelled for at least a generation, and Cha'alt will have to face its own trials at its own pace.  Decide what you will do, and choose wisely, adventurers."

The PCs unanimously chose to let Lyssa live and Make Cha'alt Great Again with the Old Ones' help.  So, the Lovecraftian entity finished having sex with Lyssa, impregnating her.  It left the way it came, through the portal... this time smoking a cigarette.  

Channa was on top of the Crimson Rock, about to perform her own ritual, but the Metal Titan blasted her, then turned its attention to the demonic Kong who was kicking everyone's ass.  Tinker's player rolled a d6 for the Metal Titan, and I rolled for Demon-Kong.  He rolled better, and the Metal Titan sent a cow-puncher arm of steel right through the gigantic demon's skull, killing him.  

After that, the King of A'agrybah and his daughter were reunited, everyone went back to A'agrybah for festivities and rewards, and to guard the Kingdom from infernal forces as Lyssa's belly swole with the expected child.  Parades, dancing in the street, and Jar-Jar Binks shouting "Meesa gonna put his dick in the mashed potatoes," or some such.

Bishop Crane talked about plans for his church, how he intended to incorporate the Great Old Ones into the Lords of Light as these Ancient, godlike entities kept proving themselves intelligent and beyond good and evil at the very least, rather than being entirely malevolent like infernal deities, nor cruel and callous towards their worshipers, such as the New Gods.

Hours later, I was thinking about the consummation between Lyssa and that Lovecraftian entity, deciding to send the players the following text message (which I posted on X, as well)...

"You couldn't help sneaking a peek.  Its weird, alien penis, greenish-tangerine with purple highlights and lavender veins, extending like a tentacle holding a fat, juicy plum... into her nether regions!"

T'was a strange and satisfying session, concluding what had been happening on Cha'alt.  I'm sure the PCs felt, at times, swept-up by the chaotic shenanigans of all these forces playing out.  As previously stated, this was the mid-season finale.  On the other side, after VENGER CON V: The Will To Power happening this coming weekend, we'll continue the campaign and see what happens with everyone.

Thanks for reading, everyone!  Feel free to comment your thoughts, feelings, criticisms, and celebrations below...

VS

p.s.  Yes, weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  

The Venger Satanis Method of TTRPGs and Game Mastering

"Consciousness is the phenomenon whereby the universe's very existence is made known." ~ Roger Penrose

Here it is, my narrative manifesto.  It's a revolution, y'all. 

While the narrative part is just that, part of the greater whole, it's usually the sticking point for many old-school, OSR, and traditional gamers... supposedly the VENGER CON crowd.  

Some bad GMs decided to write an awful fantasy novel and now the players are trapped in that Hell, their PCs moved around like pawns and told exactly what to do and how to do it.  No thanks!

And there are some who bristle at the idea of roleplaying games being both a game and story, where the game is about collaboratively creating the story that's lived, rather than simply watched as a spectator.  Those damn theater kids - get off my battle-maps!

After many, many rounds of argumentation on social media (lots of great tweets where I use Star Wars and The Matrix, among other things, to defend my positions), I've decided to clarify and codify my approach to the TTRPG hobby, in terms of running the game.  

While there are instruction manuals for Game Masters, the rule-books give you generalized advice and a few "best practices," but it's all fairly subjective.  This, too, is subjective.  I'm telling you what works for me based on what I want out of the game.  If you want to do something different, even the opposite, cool - go for it.  I wish you luck, hoss!

And what do I want out of the game?  That's the million-dollar question, because if you don't know what you want, how are you going to get it?  For most of us, you know it when you see it... and when you do see it, you grab hold, gaze, ponder, dissect, try to recreate, fail, try again, and somehow fashion exactly what you want.  Then, you have to be careful it doesn't get corrupted or thrown in the trash on the way to exalt the shiny new thing full of promise, hope, and novelty...

"You've had the entire universe explained to you and you're bored with it.  So now you want cheap thrills and plenty of them, and it don't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new, as long as it's new, as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors." (Naked, 1993)

I want to simulate, emulate, and immerse myself in a - allow me to bold and all-cap this description so there's no subtly, no obfuscation, no hiding the ball whatsoever - PULP-FANTASY SWORD & SORCERY ADVENTURE.

The kind found in literature, TV, and movies.  Allow me to help you visualize - it's going to include plenty of action (Arnold as Conan decapitating people), skulking around temples and tombs (Indiana Jones seeking golden idols), and amusing banter (epitomized by the "jam scene" in live-action Aladdin).  Bottom line, that's what I'm looking for.  

Without further ado, let's proceed...

What am I calling this?  I can't think of a name or term that wouldn't require an in-depth explanation.  I was thinking about holistic gaming, then leaned towards esoteric; prior to this week I'd been using storygame-adjacent.  Also, people have liked narrative approach or narrative shift.  Maybe it's just the Venger Satanis method?  I don't know.  Yes, we're off to a rocky start.  Not great.  Hopefully, this is just a hiccup on the way to gold, glory, and great big... tracts of land!

Here are the following tenets of my Game Mastering philosophy according to the Venger Satanis method (sure, why not?)...

The Venger Satanis Method

"A Game Master can feel the force flow through him."

"You mean it controls your actions?"

"Partially, but it also obeys your commands." ~ Obi-wan and Luke Skywalker discussion on Game Mastering

1) Living World and Living Story - The Living World involves everything physical and mater-of-fact.  The Living Story focuses on the meaning and purpose behind what's there - emotion; how it feels.  Living Story deals with the anima mundi or soul of the world, the animating spirit that breathes life into the campaign setting.  It's like the force, "a mystical, invisible energy field created by all living things which binds the universe together." 

The TL;DR version is this - the Living World is the body; the Living Story is the soul.  Body and soul.  One without the other is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without either the peanut butter or jelly.

2) Narrative Structure - This is not a script, nor a railroad.  Nothing is set in stone; everything is malleable.  Surprises will inevitably happen.  However, the GM should have plot-points helping to guide the player-determined path towards something gameable that makes sense in terms of the story.  The story is happening as it's being created, moment to moment, encounter to encounter.  GMs should also be concerned with all manner of narrative tools such as pacing, Chekov's gun, the rule of 3 (including clues), call-backs, dramatic irony, comedy relief, characters talking about their emotions, spotlighting the PCs, montage, negative space (breathing room), climax, and so many things!

I wasn't sure where to include Unifying Theme because it could stand on its own, or be included in either the Living Story or Aesthetic-Keys, but since stories have themes, I'll put it here.  Vibes, basically.  What's the game about, the central idea?  If you can't say anything about the tone, atmosphere or mood, the motif, then you probably don't have a unifying theme, yet. 

3) Aesthetic-Keys - What's the genre?  What are the conventions, expectations, and tropes appropriate to that genre... the milieu-nodes?  Furthermore, pay attention to what makes this campaign setting, the one you're using, special, unlike the others.  Why Cha'alt and not World of the Last Sun or Forgotten Realms?  I like to call them aesthetic-keys.  If the GM isn't constantly pinging the world's milieu-nodes (if you don't have a specific campaign setting, these are even more important) and aesthetic-keys throughout campaign, then why bother having a campaign setting at all?

The 8 aesthetic-keys for Cha'alt are eldritch, gonzo, science-fantasy, post-apocalypse, humor, sleaze, pop-culture, and grindhouse exploitation.  Each one is like a slice of eclectic pie that makes up the whole.  If I'm neglecting a player's favorite aesthetic-key, they can nudge the GM by stimulating a Cha'alt X-Card.

4) Demonize Masculinity - I hesitated to include this one, but we're no longer in the 20th century. We were spoiled in the 70s and 80s with pop-culture entertainment.  If we keep fighting back, those days shall return!   

Men have been robbed.  In the times we're living in, you can see it plain as day.  All the stuff that was made by men for men has been feminized, softened, weakened... sharp edges sanded down, adapted for modern audiences.  Everything that's inappropriate, problematic, and way too gory, pornographic, offensive, horrific, sexist, funny, etc. has been removed until all that's left is pink, plastic mush with child-safety locks, ensuring nothing awesome ever happens at the table.  

Well, fuck all that!  Cha'alt is a middle-finger to the woke scolds who'd love to parent-teacher conference our hobby after letting a DEI committee of sensitivity readers decide how much raw masculinity we're allowed to have?  Spoiler alert - none!  Reject modernity; embrace tradition.  

Not only should we create for the male gaze, but adventures should focus on the masculine experience because this is a hobby for men (of course, women who like what we like are more than welcome to join us, assuming they aren't doing so in order to change TTRPGs from within).  If your session has more shopping than exploring, start cramming sizzling gypsies, tentacle-wrestling competitions, fighting cosmic battles for supremacy, and journeying to strange lands to conquer them!  

Celebrate your masculinity, don't shrink from it.  "There is a beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcized." ~ Anton Szandor LaVey

____________________

Well, there you have it.  4 tenets of the Venger Satanis method.  While I'm not the first to incorporate these principles into their Game Mastering, perhaps the way I put all of it together is unique.

Regardless, now they're here.  I can point to them... or, more likely, post a link to this blog post, and let people know my play-style before they try ripping it to shreds.  While I've been GMing since 1982 with the Erol Otus / Tom Moldvay "magenta box" set of Basic D&D, the full extent of my TTRPG philosophy or school of thought hadn't coalesced until 2018.

Thanks for reading, critiquing, supporting, sharing, commenting, and all that good stuff!

VS

p.s.  Yes, weekend badges are now available for July 2026's VENGER CON V: The Will To Power.  Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!