"From Bastards to A-Team" - CHA'ALT 3.12

 

Another exciting session - this time we tried out that narrative d6 mechanic, which I initially believed was an original concept, but soon realized it's been done many times before.  

But that's no reason not to use it.  After all, I didn't create the wheel, either.

We had a full-house today, and I almost had to break out the extra chair.  Unfortunately, the new player whose character is Black Francis the dark-elf thief had a prior obligation.  However, he plans to return in future adventures.  

So, it was H'ork, Bandersnatch, Thurberus, Tinker, and Botsterdomus.  I wouldn't know until after the session was over that this would be the Bots' last session.  His player has a job opportunity in Florida and he's moving away.

Even though I planned for a half and half session where the players spend a portion of the adventure in purple-Cha'alt and the rest on Cha'alt-prime, it seemed more satisfactory to continue the purple thread until certain deeds were done.  Let's see what those were...

The PCs dreamed before being woken up by Isithar just in time to be escorted to the Feast Hall where a banquet was being held in their honor...

You open a black door and enter what seems to be a temple made of solid gold - various statues decorate both sides of the processional access - these statues have been chiseled out of purple-jade.  Their likeness is monstrous and malevolent - Great Old Ones you've never seen nor heard of.  

As you walk through the temple towards a conflagration of golden flame, you notice mirrors just beyond the eldritch statues.  You see yourselves, but the reflected images do not correspond to your own movements, and the familiar but subtle purple hue is absent.

By the time you reach the golden flame, tentacles slowly wrap themselves around you like a boa-constrictor, casually hugging your body as the tentacles squeeze, getting tighter and tighter.  Just when you think the tentacles are about to squish you into oblivion, you hear a crack and then your bodies break apart like glass - shards of broken glass go everywhere.

On his way out, Isithar tossed Bandersnatch a dried bat scrotum as a good luck charm.

Bandersnatch, being an elf of the world, warned the rest of the party of drow treachery; they are a cunning and cruel race that will backstab you without a second thought.  With that wisdom imparted (and talk of just getting the fuck out of there or initiating wholesale slaughter), they exited their bungalow and greeted priestess Theeysa, an attractive dark-elf wearing magenta panther spandex and sporting an aqua-hued mohawk.  

Theeysa, accompanied by 5 clerics, gifted the adventurers with a gilded mauve banana symbolizing virility.  Onward they went into House Purpurea territory.  On the way, they saw a dark-elf attempting to cleanse himself of masculine toxicity and giving religious praise to literal pussies atop pedestals, and were told that this was a matriarchal society of female supremacy.  And the city of Chud-Letha'az, as a whole, worshiped Igna'aktolath, the demon god of Quorta'ath.  

About halfway to the Feast Hall, a horn sounded.  It was another female drow up on a ridge, blowing into a conch shell.  "Someone is trying to summon the mauve worms to destroy us.  Quickly, we must leave."  Botserdomus shot the shell-blower right between the eyes as the golden conch rolled down the ridge right between his legs.  He picked it up for later.

As a distraction, Tinker turned himself into a worm and entered negotiations with all 5 of them.  Eventually, he talked a few of the worms, who were both hungry and horny, into exploring better prey in the caverns above.  The last male and female mauve worms were charmed by Tinker's worm-seduction and the less said about that, the better.  

Just outside the Feast Hall, there was a stone marker with glyphs and a flaming eye within a triangle at the head.  Bandersnatch read it, but didn't translate for anyone.  It gave directions (a thousand feet to the north-east) to an access point that leads "somewhere else."

The PCs entered the Feast Hall and shortly after the entire city-cavern shook like a cha'altquake.  Apparently, the Kha'alestinians above believe Chud-Letha'az is their holy land, and bombard the surface, hoping to one day blast a hole into it and pour their invading forces in with the intent of usurping the city.

To build an appetite, Queen Laurakah offered the PCs a bevy of female prostitutes to satisfy their urges before dinner, either in a private antechamber or in full view of the 25 - 30 drow of House Purpurea.  All but Tinker partook of the dark-elf girls, as he'd just had his fun minutes before.

The meal consisted of spider-milk cheese, BBQ spider legs, worm wine +, and purple scorpion meat.  Most of the party tried everything.  Although, H'ork in particular stayed away from the enhanced worm wine.  For some reason, drinking the sweet nectar from a sandworm's neck penis is preferable to it being filtrated through the bladder of a beautiful woman - go figure!

The Feast Hall included a massive statue of their Quorta'athian demon god, Igna'aktolath with two large pinkish-purple gemstone eyes.  Thurberus overheard a dark-elf say they were lavender garnets.  At one point, Tinker excused himself and was able to wedge a window slightly ajar so he could come back for the eye gems later.

Just as the banquet was coming to a close, Queen Laurakah told the adventurers what she wanted.  House Drentreatise were "warmongers" in her words.  They had ambitions of conquering neighboring lands, expanding their power and influence.  The geek squad and that ancient technology (the teleporter) was their ticket to glory.

The Queen wanted them to assassinate Isithar, and as they were being extracted from the commotion, the mauve worms would be called and House Purpurea would take control of the entire city.  Queen Laurakah infected the prostitutes the PCs had just lain with with a magical sexually transmitted disease.  the party would not survive (except for Tinker who didn't have sex with them) unless they got the antidote, which the Queen would give them once they killed Isithar with a ja'anus thorn.

Not liking the idea of being coerced, even after being offered lots and lots of gold for completion of their mission, the PCs soon departed with retribution on their mind.  Who's to say the Queen wouldn't simply have them murdered after doing the job?  Thurberus negotiated a couple of the once-infected prostitutes (they were given the antidote) to keep for their trouble, the PCs left and told Isithar everything.

Isithar advised they could get the antidote themselves - there was a gargantuan demon-spider who nested in a cave far to the south.  Milking that spider would heal them, and if enough milk could be acquired, it would certainly diminish the dominance of House Purpurea.

They went to the cave, Isithar went with them and gave them aid.  After Tinker was nearly burned to death from the demon-spider's fiery breathweapon, they hacked it enough where the thing couldn't fight back any longer.  They kept it alive and in House Drentreatise's care so the city could benefit from its curative spider-milk.

Now, ready to rock, the PCs attempted to search for that hidden access that might lead them out of Chud-Letha'az.  Meanwhile, Tinker flew up through that cracked window and tried to pry out those lavender garnet eyes.  The first popped out with ease.  The second was really wedged in there.  Being huge compared to the pixie-fairy's size, he was happy to escape with just the one eye (which they later placed in a safety deposit box in the purple labyrinth for safe keeping - etched by Bandersnatch with the glyph of the Crimson Bastards).

Returning to the others, the secret door was found.  It lead to a cave where one set of stone steps led up and the other down.  Going up, they walked for about 45 minutes until reaching the surface.  A half-mile away was their RV.  They grabbed a couple photon torpedos and went back down, setting the charge for the ancient technology, convincing the geek squad that they needed to get the Hell out of there and come with them to safety.  The PCs asked the Federation technicians if there was a way to remove the teleporter and take it with them.  Yes, the main console could be extracted.  However, there wouldn't be a power source.  That was fine, the PCs told them.  And so the geek squad started cutting wires.

Bandersnatch summoned a demon to carry the teleporter (which the PCs believed would be House Drentreatise's key to conquest) and escort the geek squad and prostitutes up to their RV.  Botsterdomus blew the golden conch shell, summoning the mauve worms [I rolled a 12 on the d12 - that's a lot of mauve worms].  As they made their way out of Chud-Letha'az, they sent the ancient technology that was left over straight to Hell.

Meanwhile, the PCs took that secondary path down to find another system of caves about 30 minutes further below Chud-Letha'az.  They encountered an isolated tribe ruled by the cult leader Zeeku.  Zeeku hated fun and enjoyment, believing it led to wickedness.  He enforced his laws with his codpiece of wonder.  The PCs warned these natives that having a good time wasn't immoral and Thurberus offered them a complimentary shake-weight.  

Upon Zeeku's entrance, where he summarily threw the PCs out of his domain, Thurberus challenged him and was blasted by the properly jeweled codpiece of wonder.  Now, Thurberus' player rolled a 1 on his saving throw, but his "opportunity / complication" d6 came up a 6.  So, I ruled it was a lethal blast that should have been a direct hit at point-blank range.  However, the native who Thurberus was nice to, jumped in the way, heroically sacrificing himself to save the v'smm priest of the benevolent shake-weight.

The native was disintegrated by the codpiece's blast, and the PCs left before Zeeku could get another shot off.  Before departing, they gifted the cult leader with a photon torpedo of his own.  

In determining the threat level of this "gift" from Zeeku's perspective, I rolled a d20 and d6 for the cult leader.  The d20 succeeded, but the d6 was a 1.  Zeeku was wary of the photon torpedo the PCs left behind, and so placed it in the center of his meditation chamber in order to reduce the object's psychic resonance - Zeeku believing it some kind of mind control device.

The PCs had set the detonation for about a half-hour, giving them plenty of time to reach Letha'az before it exploded.  They did hear a sound and felt a slight tremor like rocks falling and compacting far away.  Climbing up to the surface, they got in the RV and followed the trail of that Great Old One they released days ago.  

It eventually led them to a Kha'alestinian desert crawler vehicle outfitted with missile launchers (gear the Federation had abandoned years ago, during their first attempt at colonizing Cha'alt).  

Gary from the geek squad teleported the Purple Bastards right behind the pilot, killed him, and took command of the crawler, raising a purple flag to show it was theirs.  On their way out, they ran over a few of the spear-toting Kha'alestinians.  Taking the crawler and the RV up to the smashed city cates of Kha'alestine, they were greeted with more jiha'adist warriors who attacked the crawler.  

Tinker threw a scorpion on the face of a guy who clung to the side of their vehicle.  Botsterdomus threw back a thermal detonator that had been thrown through an open window into their cockpit, and many others were laser blasted by H'ork as the PCs rolled through the rubble and into the city to loot the place and eventually catch-up with Igg-Yig-Yatha'ak.

Just before the camera faded to black, the PCs got an anonymous call on their communicator.  It was the voice of Isithar, the sound of flames engulfing Chud-Letha'az in the background.  "I will have my revenge upon you, Purple Bastards!"

That's where we ended it.  Every player gets 3 points of Divine Favor as a reward for good roleplaying and destroying multiple civilizations in a single session.

All in all, I think there were a dozen or so instances where the narrative d6 came up either a 1 or 6.  From those events, that included Zeeku, Botsterdomus ending up with the golden conch shell - oh, and one of the rooftop crossbow shooters trying to stop the PCs from escaping Chud-Letha'az dropped when Bandersnatch shot him and a spider-scrotum coin purse fell out of his pocket after landing with a thud.

Would any of that have happened if we hadn't been rolling that extra d6, prompting moments of opportunity and complication?  Possibly, but most likely not.  In honor of the most significant uses of that little narrative beauty, I'm going to, from now on, officially call it the Zeeku die.

The only downside?  My taking the time to jot down notes based on the results, which, now that I know this game mechanic is a success for us (not every optional rule is right for every table, RPG, or campaign), I won't have to waste time with notations.

Feel free to comment your thoughts, hoss!  I welcome the feedback.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July (Sandy Petersen will be joining us as VENGER CON's Guest of Honor).  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!

Opportunities & Complications

 

As mentioned in my latest video, I'm trying out this new "narrative die" game mechanic in our upcoming session (Cha'alt 3.12).  

Well, it's new to me.  Apparently, this has been around for a long time and is used by several RPGs already.

Basically, you roll a d6 along with your d20.  If the d6 results in a 1, there's a complication.  If it's a 6, there's an opportunity.  And the d20 decides if you (crit) succeed or (crit) fail, as usual.

As the GM, I'll be rolling this narrative die, as well, for monsters, NPCs, and whatever else.

After this trial session, the opportunity / complication d6 - I need to come up with a catchy name for it; ironically, "narrative die" doesn't really tell any kind of a story - will become optional for whoever wants to continue the practice.  I'll probably award a bonus Divine Favor for those who keep up with it each session, to mitigate the potential downside the game mechanic yields.

In preparation, I thought it would be handy to come up with a few default suggestions for both opportunities and complications.  Obviously, these things are situational and depend on the condition, context, and present circumstances.  But in the moment, it's also nice to have a go-to narrative detail.

Opportunity

• Some sort of feat, mighty deed, or stunt is possible.
• An additional 6 points of damage during an attack.
• If the attack was unsuccessful, a mere 6 points of damage is done via glancing blow or skin-deep cut.
• You have a moment of clarity, and are able to see things for what they really are.
• You notice your opponent is standing under a precarious stalactite. 
• If already successful, the attack becomes a crit.
• You get an attack of opportunity.
• If a saving throw is required, it's rolled with Advantage for you or Disadvantage for your opponent.
• Advantage on your next action.
• A PC or NPC is able to provide support, help, or aid.
• A weakness, flaw, tell, or new understanding appears.
• "A plan comes together" - if the PCs have a plan in place, the necessary missing piece of the puzzle suddenly falls into place.
• A resource renews or becomes available for the first time.
• Massive hit knocks opponent unconscious.
• If it's a weaker opponent, the attack outright kills them.
• PC's ferocity makes one or more opponents run away.
• You make it look easy.
• Someone watching becomes enamored of you.
• Your grace, skill, or ridicule unsteadies an opponent, giving them Disadvantage.
• You happen to be at a ley-line crossroads that rejuvenate, heal, or strengthen magic.
• Opponent's weapon, device, instrument, or whatever breaks, runs out of ammo, juice, charges, etc.
• There's a substantial crystal within view.
• They planned to spring a trap, but you either saw right through it or it failed.
• The Gods smile on you once again... that Orion whore you laid with did not have space herpes.
• Your belt is slashed and your pants fall down - red heart underwear activated!

Complication

• Reinforcements enter the fray.
• An ally runs away.
• If a saving throw is required, it's rolled at a Disadvantage to you or Advantage to your opponent.
• Your fazed by the sheer strength of their attack and get Disadvantage on your next action.
• You drop something.
• You have an allergic reaction to something nearby.
• You suddenly realize this isn't your enemy's final form.
• The enemy gets an attack of opportunity on you.
• One of your companions pulls a "wild card" on your group.
• Ammo, energy, fuel, juice, magic, or mojo runs out.
• Your war-scream has lured a wandering monster into environment.
• Just before dealing the killing-blow, your opponent uses his "one time," get out of jail free card, ring of teleportation, cloak of invisibility, or Predator camouflage armor to slip away and fight another day.
• Your opponent is immune to that form of attack, or has learned how to counter it, or adapted in order to make such attacks ineffective.
• Your mind plays tricks, you have a moment of confusion, or you're just getting old.
• An environmental hazard like a Cha'alt-quake, volcanic eruption, cave-in, or poisonous gas happens.
• Your opponent somehow knows something about you, an important detail that could lead to your undoing.
• Your bad back, knee, hip, elbow, or fractured tibula is flaring up again.  You're gonna need to sit out for a few minutes.
• You happen to be your opponent's favored enemy - they get Advantage when attacking you.
• The thing you need to protect is (almost) destroyed.
• A random NPC appears through a portal and smacks you across the face with a fish.  You're dazed for one round.
• Your weapon, device, or whatever you're carrying vibrates, ricochets, recoils, spits, chirps, reverbs, glistens, pulses, explodes, echoes, thrums, or belches fire and it somehow negatively impacts you.
• Whoops, that blade is poisoned... make your save or nighty-night.
• A trap was laid for you, and now it has sprung. 
• That three-breasted hooker has a dead-eye pimp who walks around with a thermal detonator.

____________

So, yeah... those are just some things that occurred to me as I sat down to type this blog post out.  I tried to come up with both in-combat and out-of-combat ideas.

You can use Divine Favor or say the phrase "By His loathsome tentacles" once per session to reroll or bump your d6 narrative die, respectively.  Speaking of "By His loathsome tentacle," I'll allow players to shout "Cha'alt!" instead, if they'd rather say that in order to get a +1 on a die result.

If your a Daggerheart or Genesys RPG player and get some use out of this, remember to support small-time, independent content creators.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July (Sandy Petersen will be joining us as VENGER CON's Guest of Honor).  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!

Cult Classic Influence: Heathers

 

For a long while, I've been using this blog for either session reports or announcements... product releases, crowdfunding, conventions, culture war politics, etc.  Which means I've been slacking on the gaming content front.  

Well, I came up with something to boost my blogging output and heighten its appeal - while also giving me yet another reason (aside from introducing vintage media to my kids) to revisit such cult classics as Blade Runner, Zardoz, Flash Gordon, Revenge of the Nerds, and Highlander, to name but a few.  

As long as I'm enjoying all the foundational cult classics that have inspired me over the years (including Cha'alt and other products), why not dig deep, deriving (even more, in some cases) campaign setting bits and pieces to make the world come alive?  Not just lore that adds a hint of color, but something tangible, mechanical, or substantive that is directly inspired by what I just watched... something that makes a difference to the players, that the GM can use, not just describe.

My goal is to put out one of these each week (and some weeks I might blog a TV show write-up).  While that might not be realistic, I'm going to try and keep to that schedule.  I'll be on a family vacation next week, so that's already shot, but don't worry, I won't give up!  

Want to motivate me?  I love feedback - especially when folks tell me how they used it in-game.  Last night, I watched Heathers (again) with my oldest, and so without further ado...

Cult Classic Influence #1: Heathers

"The extreme always seems to make an impression."

Anytime the PCs come into contact with (hearing about, setting foot inside, staying there for a little while, and perhaps exiting) a matriarchal society - like the city-state of Ja'alette or Chud-Letha'az, the gilded mauve dark-elf city - or any culture where women are at least equal to or above men, the GM is obliged to come up with a feminine scheme.

Generally speaking, this feminine scheme comes directly from the "Queen Bee" herself, but possibly her subordinates... and on the rarest of occasions, the female drones rebel against her royal highness, either toppling her jeweled crown or their failed attempt merely incites deadly retaliation - "Off with their heads!"

Most importantly, the feminine scheme must show strength, be cruel in nature, and include an aspect of humiliation and/or degradation.  

For example, the Golden Goddess forces her least productive handmaids to fully inhale the magenta lotus which temporarily turns them into "free-use" sluts who will do anything with anyone, anywhere.  As the masculine slaves ravage them, the Golden Goddess and her Priestesses watch from their ivory balconies.  

Now that we have the what, how could this be incorporated into one's game?  I have some ideas...

Maybe the PCs hear a rumor of what will eventually go down, what's already taken place, or happening right now... are the PCs participating?  Perhaps they see the results for themselves or a feminine scheme fugitive runs away, falling into the arms of the reluctant adventurers?  What if the PCs get swept up in the scheme, or one of their friends?  What if it doesn't directly affect the PCs at all, but it goes to show (rather than tell) how messed up their society really is?  How does this alter their relationship with their neighboring city, settlement, or realm?  If everyone's distracted, will they take the opportunity to attack?  Steal that coveted artifact?  Will this stunning and brave display of feminized degeneracy make them less likely to interfere in female-dominated politics?  Going an alternative route, is it possible that bend-over-backwards kindness results in suicidal empathy, leading to the downfall of their civilization?

__________

Ok, if you enjoyed that, let me know.  I probably won't blog again until after I get back from vacation, so comment down below if you want to make a suggestion.  And thanks for tuning-in, hoss!

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July (Sandy Petersen will be joining us as VENGER CON's Guest of Honor).  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!

"The Somewhat Purple Bastards" - CHA'ALT 3.11

 

Yes, this is going to be another weird one... and it all takes place on purple-Cha'alt.

Botsterdomus' player couldn't make it because of work related issues, but we had a new player try our game out.  So, still the full compliment of 5.

  As I understand it, the last time our guest-player took part in D&D you had character classes like fighter, magic-user, elf, and dwarf.

He decided to play a dark-elf thief named Black Francis with lavender teardrops tattooed upon his deep-purple skin, just below his eye.  That was his noteworthy thing, and I also told him that he owed his life to the Purple Supreme Council (I started him at 3rd level so he wasn't a wuss compared to the others who were between 4th and 5th level).  He started out in a nearby cave, hidden and counting his loot when the PCs strolled in to check things out.

Moments later, they saw a flash of darkest periwinkle, heard a weird noise, and a familiar voice telling them to drop their weapons.  It was the Darkest Periwinkle Bastards (as opposed to the Crimson Bastards or Purple Bastards).  So, the PCs from another dimension or universe (but in darkest periwinkle) came to purple-Cha'alt to steal their weapons and who knows what else?

The Darkest Periwinkle Bastards had a device (held by darkest periwinkle Bandersnatch - Thurberus had a darkest periwinkle pyramid with AMWAY written on it, because he always has some kind of business / cult scam going, Lol) that immobilized the PCs.  

Oh yeah, I wrote down speaking parts for a couple players to read for their doppelgangers.  As they were about to steal the weapons from their paralyzed selves, the would-be thieves decided to monolog about how they got here, murdering and cutting up the Darkest Periwinkle Supreme Council so they could be easily digested by Botsterdomus' darkest periwinkle anal worms.

That was all the motivation Black Francis needed to come out of the shadows, creep up behind Bandersnatch, and slit his throat.  Rolling high on his sneak-attack damage, darkest periwinkle Bandersnatch gripped his neck as the blood spurted and the device fell to the ground and broke.  Before that, Bandersnatch-prime attempted to use his psionic abilities to disrupt the device.  Partially successful, he made it go on and off like a strobe-light.

Now completely free, combat ensued.  It didn't take much for the PCs to best their darkest periwinkle selves.  Not wanting the moral weight of killing oneself, Thurberus merely knocked his mirror image back into the darkest periwinkle portal with his shake-weight.  Being an agent of chaos - I should say agents of chaos - purple-Tinker and darkest periwinkle Tinker traded places as the pixie-fairy poontang is always a more favorable hue on the other side of the portal.  However, the new Tinker got a shot off with his sorcerer-bard companion's bass guitar that was pre-loaded with a darkest periwinkle fireball, wounding Thurberus the most - but everyone, except Black Francis - took some damage.

By the end, all the bodies were looted (Bandersnatch acquired 9 darkest periwinkle crystals from his counterpart), Thurberus held a dagger up to darkest periwinkle's neck and a blaster trained on Black Francis because he was coming for the new Tinker in order to avenge the Supreme Council that the Darkest Periwinkle Bastards had been bragging about murdering only a few minutes earlier.  

Confused yet?  Lol.  It all pretty much got straightened out enough to continue on to the wine tasting / timeshare pitch that was happening a few caves over.  

Before getting there, Bandersnatch felt the aura of evil magic coming from a side cave.  They found a way to breach the force shield and entered to find a Ms. Pacman coffee table style arcade game, lava lamp, infernal glyph drawn upon the floor, and a curious machine at the back that said a numeric code had to be entered and button pushed or else there would be a "catastrophic planetary shutdown."  When first glanced, there was 7 minutes and 43 seconds remaining.  By the time they found the code, there was 1 minute and 11 seconds.  Thurberus did all he could to destroy the machine and evidence of the code before leaving, as the machine re-set for one million seconds.  I just looked up how long that is...  11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds.

After that was the wine tasting hosted by a mutant named Scum Weasel (yes, he looked like a humanoid weasel).  He had several guards, a few small sandworms, over a dozen patrons drinking his delicious twice-peed wine, a sack of money and IOUs, and handful of beautiful women.  Scum Weasel explained his "hot chick filtration" system of which he was so proud.  You see, once you move the sandworm's fat out of the way to find his neck-penis, and pour that into a glass, you then have your hot chick drink it... then you wait about 30 minutes, and when she eventually pisses it out you have the best tasting worm wine on Cha'alt.  

The new Tinker, we decided, had an amulet that could turn him into a 7-foot darkest periwinkle worm, and he went to work putting the moves on one of Scum Weasel's sandworms.  Turns out, Tinker's seduction was successful.  He had her take him to Scum Weasel's "bedroom cave."  After about 20 minutes, they came back.  Tinker announced that Scum Weasel was hoarding scratch-off lottery tickets.  Thurberus was amazed and impressed by his business plan (of course), so they stole the 17 tickets yet to be scratched-off, no winners were among the tickets littering his abode, killed the few guards who didn't immediately surrender, zapped Scum Weasel with the wand of lightning, and took off with all the valuables.  

The next cave was divided by a portcullis.  Tinker flew in to see what was happening, found a two-headed dragon, decided to betray the party by leading them into the dragon's den, was found out by Bandersnatch, and eventually (after feeding about 8 humanoids to the dragon) turned invisible thanks to Bandersnatch (after drinking his vial of zoth), and led a tied-up Tinker out of the cave and into the next.  

Soon after, another weird scifi noise was heard as a bunch of nerds were transported into that cave.  One of them was named Gary and they all had uniforms with their name and FGS written on them.  This was the Federation Geek Squad.  The geeks asked if anyone in the party was named Isithar, but none were.  Moments later, a group of dark-elves came by to lead the FGS to Chud-Letha'az, the dark-elf gilded mauve city beneath Skra'ath cavern.  However, you could only get there by traversing a 7-mile stretch of dangerous tunnel.  

Isithar and his dark-elves would be grateful for the PCs' help escorting the FGS back to Chud-Letha'az.  And so it went.  Briefly, they encountered a reluctant band of bandits (analogous to The Orphans from the 1979 movie The Warriors), a golden rust-monster of sorts, a vibration surfing elf wearing a tie-dyed cloak and holding plutonium nyborg (which one of the theives stole) there was a sign notifying those who knew the dark-elf language of a ley-line intersecting the tunnel, a giant purple-scorpion who immediately killed the gold rust-monster which Tinker claimed as a pet and Thurberus decided to capture it in the rainbow-obsidian stone that transported one into a black room of hellish torture, and a newt fancier who was having fun with all his many newts.

Eventually, they reached the city of Chud-Letha'az.  There were two major factions - Isithar's House Drentreatise and House Purpria who looked rather unfriendly when the PCs and FGS arrived.  House Drentreatise were very interested in getting tech support for the alien technology recently discovered in their city.  

The Federation Geek Squad looked around for an hour or two while the PCs did other things, such as check out the bazaar.  Tinker found some wondrous daggers belonging to a shopkeeper who was trying to find a love connection for his daughter.  She was half dark-elf and half pixie-fairy.  Considered ugly by the standards of Chud-Letha'az and wearing many veils (just in case one of them should accidentally fall off), Tinker did what he had to do to earn a set of almost magical daggers that represented the story of the scorpion and the frog.

Bungalows were arranged, Black Francis took possession of the party's newly acquired non-binary slave, and a dinner party was offered by House Purpuria in the PCs' and FGS' honor.  Though, Isithar warned them it may be some kind of trap.  

By the end of the session, the PCs learned that the FGS would be able to repair the first bits of alien technology, which was planetary teleportation.  Given enough energy, anyone could be teleported to another part of Cha'alt and back again.

From movie references to tiny shake-weights to the business venture of designing and selling shake-weight thumpers for sandworm booty calls to the idea of being driven mad by the lack of hot, mutant, pixie-fairy women, this was an odd session.  It was fun playing with Black Francis and his player.  I'm not sure what he expected, but we can all reasonably assume he wasn't expecting this.  It's hard to put our Cha'alt campaign into words.  Like in The Matrix, no one can be told what Cha'alt is (like), especially the way I run it, you simply have to experience it for yourself.  

Although, Tinker's player said something which I found rather telling... before he knew what fantasy roleplaying was really about (ahead of trying it for himself) our game is what he thought it would be like.  But then when he actually got to play (in other peoples' games), it turned out not to be like that at all... but then with our game, that's what he had originally envisioned.  Fascinating!

Because I'm blowing through a couple of weekends back-to-back (family vacation), the next session won't be until Saturday, June 21st - 4 weeks from now.  It's been so long, we'll have to go back to Cha'alt-prime, I expect, and see what's happening there.

Thanks for reading, hoss!  If you have questions, just ask.  

Oh, my latest PDFs are up on DriveThruRPG - Fairy Dust and Play Like A Fucking Boss.  I've been blessed with tremendous players both in my home game and at the various gaming cons where I GM... such as VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse.  

The stuff I've learned by watching and interacting with a player pool one-thousand strong over the past 42 years has taught me many things.  That wisdom was distilled into Play Like A Fucking Boss (also a print-on-demand softcover on Amazon that includes Fairy Dust at the back of the book).  I know it will help you become the best player at any table.

Enjoy,

VS

p.s. Want the hardcover Cha'alt trilogy?  Here's how (and they're currently on sale!)!!  Want to join the Kort'thalis mailing list to stay up-to-date on what's going on in the skinematic Vengerverse?  This is it!!  Last but not least, I'm organizing a based-as-fuck RPG convention in Madison, WI this July (Sandy Petersen will be joining us as VENGER CON's Guest of Honor).  Grab your weekend badge for VENGER CON IV: Post-Modern Apocalypse!!!